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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I shouldn't be expected to go to BILs birthday dinner?!

227 replies

l0stmummy · 24/09/2018 17:48

ILs are celebrating BILs birthday at a rather nice restaurant. Under normal circumstances I would go. I'm not BILs biggest fan but I would always put on a smile and go as a family unit. However, I had a tooth extraction on Friday last week that had some complications. Long story short, its gotten infected and I have a face the size of a house. I can only see properly out of one eye, and the antibiotics I'm on are making me feel rotten. I'm in alot of pain and have no appetite. AIBU to think I shouldn't be expected to go to this family meal tonight? DH thinks I should still attend and is being quite stubborn about it.

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 24/09/2018 18:37

Take control. Phone one of the ILs to give your apologies and explain why you can't make it. That will put a stop to his nonsense.

LucieMorningstar · 24/09/2018 18:37

@InstagramPork

I agree with @WorralLiberty. You should definitely jadfiewahnds

Too funny!!

Original poster
l0stmummy · 24/09/2018 18:38

@sparkletastic just with his MIL the majority of the time. Not that I'd be much of a talker tonight Confused

OP posts:
FullMetalRabbit · 24/09/2018 18:39

Who died and made him the King?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 24/09/2018 18:40

OH sorry Worra I thought jadfiewahnds was an acronym Blush

theworldistoosmall · 24/09/2018 18:41

When you've grown up!? Oh, he's really being a cunt now. I would fucking tell him I'm ready, let's go and go exactly how you are.

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 24/09/2018 18:41

LTFB

peachgreen · 24/09/2018 18:42

Why on Earth are you still married to him? What a dick.

jannier · 24/09/2018 18:42

l0stmummy Mon 24-Sep-18 18:35:28

"He's stomped off and told me to let him know when I've grown up and I'm ready to go. He's going to be waiting a while" OMG he gets worse I would take that photo send it to the in laws and say OH is refusing to come on his own and wants me to get ready as you can see I'm not fit enough, haven't eaten anything since ......dosed on painkillers and antibiotics, I've said I am happy for him to go without me but he wont.

diddl · 24/09/2018 18:42

" "well I'm sorry I want to spend time with you"" Manipulative arse. He's told you to grow up-he sounds nasty. Does he have any good points?

theworldistoosmall · 24/09/2018 18:43

Or phone MIL and tell her, in front of this asshole you aren't going, very sorry, as I am ill and the idiot will be coming alone. Unless he has got this fuckery from her, she will understand.

AlexaAmbidextra · 24/09/2018 18:43

Of course you shouldn’t go. And I bet you’re taking metronidazole so can’t even drown your sorrows in alcohol. Tell him to fuck off and go. At least it’ll give you a peaceful evening. 💐

MissusGeneHunt · 24/09/2018 18:46

What Sparkletastic said - good idea, then you've given your apologies for not being there (under the circs they are damn credible ones and whop the feck would argue with that), PLUS you'd have got in there first before he comes up with some far lamer 'excuse'. I don't often go this far, but he sounds like a complete twatstick. Again, hope you get better soon....

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/09/2018 18:46

I had an infected socket, after a wisdom tooth extraction recently - it was painful, but nowhere near as bad as yours sounds, @10stmummy, and there is no way dh would have expected me to go out and socialise! Your dh dh is being an arsehole - enjoy your evening on the sofa, and I hope you feel,better soon.

Yellllllllllow · 24/09/2018 18:47

Bloody hell. You absolutely should not go.

pointythings · 24/09/2018 18:48

I second messaging his ILs - with a photo of what you look like by way of explanation. Make your H look like the utter twat he is.

CottonTailRabbit · 24/09/2018 18:49

Take the initiative. Message a picture of your face to BIL and MIL, copied to DH. Say "Sorry I can't be there to celebrate with you. I'm in pain but I don't need that much nursing so I've told DH it's fine for him to go tonight and I'll be fine. I hope you all have a fantastic night. Happy birthday. Love sparkle"

PuppyMonkey · 24/09/2018 18:50

LTB

viques · 24/09/2018 18:50

Apologies for not attending, birthday wishes and a hope to see you all soon is all it takes. Haven't read through so hope op is curled up in bed with a hottie and painkillers.

TidyDancer · 24/09/2018 18:50

Is he usually such a child?!

Please don't give in OP. You don't sound physically capable anyway, but it would set a horrible precedent.

Original poster
l0stmummy · 24/09/2018 18:52

Honestly think I'm gonna go. Hes whining more than my 10 month old and I've got a headache

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 24/09/2018 18:53

Don't go. Let him whine.

Nquartz · 24/09/2018 18:54

Seriously! He is being such a toddler having a tantrum and the one thing you don't do with a toddler having a tantrum is give in

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 24/09/2018 18:55

Do NOT go! He's being a selfish twat and if you give in now you're basically sending the message that his behaviour is acceptable.

Whocansay · 24/09/2018 18:55

Why are you letting this cunt bully you? You are ill, FFS. Stay home and rest.