... to feel insulted that my son-in-law called me "Thingy"?

[DancingForTheDog]

Had the family over this weekend - eight of us in all. We ordered in a takeaway and SIL was handing out the different dishes at the table. He was saying the name of the dish and then the name of the family member who ordered it, until he came to mine and said, "Red thai curry - pass that to Thingy", gesturing towards me with the tray. I said (in a good humoured way) "Thingy? Well I've never been called that before." and my daughter said "Perhaps not the best idea to call your MIL Thingy". I let it go, but it has narked me. I'm generally laid back but I think it's just the undercurrent of disrespect that's annoyed me. We get along fine, although not particularly close as he can be rather stand-offish with all of us. He's from a very wealthy background and I may be wrong but feel he may feel rather superior to us. Anyway, am I being a snowflake, or would this annoy you too?

Maybe there's a difference of opinion about the word. I cannot inagine calling another human being "thingy". The wrong name-including the cat's name -yep, done that. But Thingy? Really?

Unless there’s a massive backstory, then YABU to feel insulted although I’d be a bit irritated.

Do they have a baby? I actually forgot my own name one day when I was particularly tired; I was introducing myself to someone and just clean forgot for over a minute. Luckily she's become a firm friend regardless.

I have a family member who does this. It's one of his techniques for putting people down. If you genuinely forget a name for a sec just don't use one. Saying 'thingy' is a put down. The tricky thing is what go do next... your daughter said something so I think you should leave it. She is obviously on to him. I bet he does it to others too.

You can call a MIL "Millie". Otherwise I'd call him something close to his name, but not exactly. John - Jonny. Michael - Mickey. David - Dodgy Dave

I wouldn't have given this a second thought, and I'm surprised by how many people would be very offended by this. I don't see it as being offensive at all. Isn't it funny how differently people think and respond to different situations.

My MIL had a habit of callling me 'her or 'she' rather than using my name; we get on well (mostly) so I thought it was thoughtless rather than spiteful, but I did ask her to re-think how she addressed or referred to me!

Despite knowing names are very difficult for some people to recall it is ok to be offended and then use names as an insult for him?

It is a mild but common feature of dyslexia and other learning difficulties (I hate that term). Many people who are not dyslexic also struggle with names.

But you go ahead be offended and then insult him, not accidentally but with intentional malice.

Thingy? Wtf? Is this a British thing?

It is a British thing, I suppose. Like Whatserface, Thingamajig and Thingamabob.

Sigh. Its family life. Get over it.

How disrespectful. Yes it’s easy to forget a name but he could have said “pass this down to that end of the table/to your mum’. Even ‘to her’ would have been better than thingy.

Really?! Is this your biggest worry right now? Have you never had a brain lapse and forgot a name?

I wouldn't like that! If he does it again, tell him that you don't like it because it's so dismissive. Make a joke of it if you need to. ''thing! thiiiiingyyy?? how could i possibly be offended by such a charming moniker?''

It would annoy me if it was done to me, but like PP said, some people are rubbish with names (like me) and I have done this many times regarding DHs various relatives (although never mil)

I'm very prone to name blindness and regularly reach for names but Thingy is plain rude. There is always a politer alternative. Someone benefiting from a wealthy, educated background would have no excuse not to know this.

My husband told my mum yesterday that they (my family) remind him of the clampetts. He was obviously joking (I think/hope ). If my husband called my mum thingy I doubt she'd even notice. You can't get on very well if you take something like that personally.

He’s a rude arse. If it was just a moment of complete forgetfulness he could have said, “and this is for...you/my esteemed mil” or “and...here’s yours” or any of a number of options that don’t involve a snitchy little power play.

Oh FGS don't hang on to this as a reason to be offended.

YANBU, massively disrespectful. I wouldn't dare call my MIL or even DM 'Thingy' (or pretty much any relly older than me). If I forgot MIL's name momentarily, I'd say 'you' or something, or change the sentence round.

I say thingy to my dc and H so wouldn't be too insulted by this.

I'm guessing the twat wouldn't call his FIL 'Thingy'. It's very rude. What was SIL's response to your dd?

No wonder MN is full of threads about families that hate each other, no one wants to spend Christmas together and everything is toxic.

A simple mistake, a brain fart when you are busy and posters think this is massively disrespectful and he is a twat suggesting the OP should think of names to call him and 'retaliate' in kind.

The playground would be a haven away from some of you!

Amazing how many people 'wouldn't be offended' by this 😂 IT'S INSULTING and people do it absolutely deliberately. If he genuinely couldn't remember the name for a second he'd have said something like "Give this to (wife's name)'s mum".

I've been known to slip up to 4 thingys into a single sentence