... to feel insulted that my son-in-law called me "Thingy"?

[DancingForTheDog]

Had the family over this weekend - eight of us in all. We ordered in a takeaway and SIL was handing out the different dishes at the table. He was saying the name of the dish and then the name of the family member who ordered it, until he came to mine and said, "Red thai curry - pass that to Thingy", gesturing towards me with the tray. I said (in a good humoured way) "Thingy? Well I've never been called that before." and my daughter said "Perhaps not the best idea to call your MIL Thingy". I let it go, but it has narked me. I'm generally laid back but I think it's just the undercurrent of disrespect that's annoyed me. We get along fine, although not particularly close as he can be rather stand-offish with all of us. He's from a very wealthy background and I may be wrong but feel he may feel rather superior to us. Anyway, am I being a snowflake, or would this annoy you too?

Just start calling him 'thingy'. See how he likes it.

* I'm generally laid back*. Doubt that very much

Thank you twatty

I'm generally laid back. Doubt that very much Why do you doubt it? I'm a very laid back person but that doesn't mean I don't know when someone is being dismissive of me.

Name change? Because your Son in law, who you have a decent enough relationship with, called you “thingy” you have stewed on it and then pushed a thread about it. Not my definition of “laid back”!

It would depend, entirely, on the manner it was said. Given it’s upset you, I assume it was said in a dismissive tone rather than one of brain fade humour...so yes, it would bother me. Whereas being called ‘thingy’ generally wouldn’t normally.

How odd!! You have name changed and then posted a response on your own thread.

So “weird” rather than laid back based on your behaviour on this thread!

What did he say/do when your daughter told him it wasn't the best thing to call your mother in law? Surely it was an accident and he was apologetic or embarrassed? I couldnt make a big deal of it unless it happened all the time and he couldn't be bothered to make any effort to show any interest in me.

Huh? What are you talking about? I haven't name changed at all. I think Jules is just stating how they would feel.

Ah, I see! Apologies. I still wouldn’t describetou as laidback in the basis of taking such offence about something slightly rude and posting about it through

Well I am laid back generally, I just wondered how others would feel in the same situation.

Get your own back and call him thingy at every opportunity 😁 yes i am that childish

He's rude.

These things happen. Maybe he was getting a bit flustered sorting out the food.

I think he's just momentarily forgotten your name. I have (mild) memory problems and am constantly telling my colleagues "you need to talk to Thingy about that. You know, Thingy, she sits next to the printer". My husband is terrible with names - he refers to at least 50% of our friends as The Lady and The Man which is not a great way to narrow them down (though sometimes he does this to tease me). I think you need to let it go, it was a temporary slip. What purpose would holding a grudge serve?

I think it probably was the dismissive nature of it, it wasn't said in a jokey way. If I referred to my MIL as 'Thingy' .....well I just couldn't.

There's not enough here to have a problem with. At all! There must be more to it. Otherwise you're massively over-reacting.

Maybe he, clearly incorrectly, feels relaxed in your company. Maybe he just had a momentary brain freeze. As a matter of interest, would you generally stew over this type of thing? I mean over what seem very minor issues.

There's a difference between forgetting a name or using the wrong name or going momentarily blank and "Thingy". As everyone would be saying if this was a dil complaining about a mil.

Oh, come on! He just had a minor lapse in brain function. Do you really demand so much respect that you can't take someone with otherwise decent manners being a bit vague and casual once in a blue moon?

"Thingy"?!?!? Yeah that's pretty fucking rude actually.

There's a difference between forgetting a name or using the wrong name or going momentarily blank and "Thingy". Not in my books there's not (and when are Mumsnet going to sort the return key issue!). Forgetting = desperately seeking alternative = thingy

So he says ‘here you go thingy’ you should have said ‘thanks wotsit ‘ loudly And kept calling him it for rest of the day ( head tilt and raised eyebrow optional)

For some people names are difficult to remember. Names don't have a meaning. A common noun like 'table' is easy to identify - you know what a table looks like. Proper nouns like names - Fred or Gloria don't have a meaning as such. Freds aren't always tall and blonde, Glorias don't always have red hair.

So names can be difficult to attribute. It is common for dyslexics to struggle with names.

He called you 'Thingy' while doing another task this may well be a feature of how his brain works. You find it easy to attribute names. He doesn't.

Be offended it you want but that would be unfair.