... to feel insulted that my son-in-law called me "Thingy"?

[DancingForTheDog]

Had the family over this weekend - eight of us in all. We ordered in a takeaway and SIL was handing out the different dishes at the table. He was saying the name of the dish and then the name of the family member who ordered it, until he came to mine and said, "Red thai curry - pass that to Thingy", gesturing towards me with the tray. I said (in a good humoured way) "Thingy? Well I've never been called that before." and my daughter said "Perhaps not the best idea to call your MIL Thingy". I let it go, but it has narked me. I'm generally laid back but I think it's just the undercurrent of disrespect that's annoyed me. We get along fine, although not particularly close as he can be rather stand-offish with all of us. He's from a very wealthy background and I may be wrong but feel he may feel rather superior to us. Anyway, am I being a snowflake, or would this annoy you too?

yabu, was more likely to be a lapse in memory while he was busy. Its silly being insulted. Just make sure you call him wotsit next chance you get, lol.

Unless he's prone to being rude to you, I'd also assume he just had one of those blank moments, I'd assume your daughters reaction, from the way she phrased it, was more about your reaction to it.

It would annoy me. I would be calling him Jimbob for the foreseeable future.

My MIL does that to me. It's rude OP. Call him 'whatsyername'.

Calling someone 'thingy' is rude. He could have said pass this to MIL, Mrs..., your mother etc.

I'd be a bit put out, too, OP. I don't think you're being unreasonable.

My Dad calls my partner of 4 years a name similar to his correct name. Unfortunately what my Dad calls him is the same name as my sister's ex husband.

We get along fine, although not particularly close as he can be rather stand-offish with all of us. He's from a very wealthy background and I may be wrong but feel he may feel rather superior to us. Maybe he's picking up on the fact that you have issues with his background... And as for 'Thingy' - I agree with PP that he's momentarily forgotten your name. I forget names & basic terms for people so I'd not be able to say 'your mother' instead, I'd probably be pointing and going 'mmmmmmm, thingy, wotsit, you know who I mean!'

I have brain farts all the time. Often over names. Its a non issue and momentary lapse of focus. Let it go.

I doubt he meant to be insulting. Let it go.

I'd call him thingy from now on, as others have suggested. Very dismissive thing to say.

As others have said, what's to be gained from deciding he was being deliberately rude? If he was you gain the upper hand by rising above it/ not noticing and if it was a slip (far more likely) you'd be unkind/rude/causing trouble over nothing

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. In fact, you could take it as a sign of affection, and that he feels relaxed enough in your company to joke with you.

Just start to call him ‘Wotsit’ from now on. He’ll soon get used to it I think this is the solution.

My DCs are often called "Wossyaname" and "t'other one" in no particular order. It sounds like normal forgetfulness to me and not intended to cause offense.

I quite like it actually, I think in makes him more human and is less formal and more relaxed and friendly than perhaps he ha been in the past.

I once forgot a DFriend's DCs name, total brain fart. She made me feel sooooo bad about it that I now don't ask her about her DC. At all. Ever. In case I muck it up again. Guess your SiL will be the same...

YABU unless there's some other context.

Ffs he had a brain fart, it's happened to us all. Don't be so oversensitive.

My mum calls me the dogs name a lot. The dog died 5 years ago.

Very rude ...poor you OP. Tell your DIL you are still a bit wounded and hopefully he might grovel a bit and send a bunch 💐

My own mum can go through a whole library of names (male, female, animal) before she hits on mine sometimes. It's just a temporary brainfart. I think you're being a bit precious, unless there is some big dripfeed about other examples?

You should have just smiled and said, "Thank you Twatty,"

Thingy just means you can't think of the word. Pass me the thingy (remote), where's thingy gone (cousin), what's that thingy we use to cut carrots (mandolin)

I'd have laughed it off, tbh, but it's something i do. I go for somebody's name and just go blank. You might have got whats her name, from me.

Round our way that would just turn into a permanent nickname and everyone would call you thingy from now on. The more you complained the more it would stick.

I wouldn't expect he meant anything by it.