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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MIL dropped a pill by baby's playmat and didn't tell me

102 replies

IABURQO · 24/09/2018 12:50

More of a WWYD. Let's start by being clear that everyone is lovely and I get along well with all of them.

We had people here at the weekend and there are two crawling babies; ours and BIL/SILs. I've just found a pill on the floor next to the playmat for the babies; nobody told either of us that they had dropped a pill. The only people with pills they take in the day are MIL and AIL.

If it was AIL, then she sees the babies rarely and it's better to say nothing because she just got back on good terms with PIL, who would both be angry if they thought AIL wasn't taking enough care around the babies.

Given the seat the pill was next to, it was more likely MIL however, who does see the babies a lot. DH thinks she must have not realised or would have told us, but she carries daily pills so I don't see how she wouldn't have noticed. She has the babies visit at her house, she might get them on her own at some points and she's around them an awful lot; so I feel like it would be useful to remind her to be super careful with the pills. However nicely I put it, I know it'll upset her that she'll know she's done something very wrong, and as above if it actually isn't her pill then unfortunately it's likely to cause big issues with AIL. But I'm not happy that there was a pill on the floor where my baby plays and nobody gave me a chance to look for it.

As a side point, should I tell SIL so she can remember to be careful with the baby on their floor? That could cause issues with her taking their baby round less and if I was telling MIL I think is unnecessary.

So, who would you tell (if anyone)?

OP posts:

lpchill · 24/09/2018 12:55

I know its awkward but what if you don't say anything and eventually a baby eats a pill? It's not worth having that on your mind. I would remind both of the pill takers to be careful with there pills as you found one as well as telling your SIL to be careful where the babies are put down and check (you don't have to say you found a pill per say maybe a button)

NoonyLa · 24/09/2018 12:56

You need to talk to MIL so she can be more careful in the future.

YeTalkShiteHen · 24/09/2018 12:58

You have to say something, this is serious. If one of the babies had eaten the pill god knows what could have happened.

Eatmycheese · 24/09/2018 12:58

What are the pills?
I would have to say something

Unicornandbows · 24/09/2018 12:59

I think if she knew she dropped a pill she would have been trying to look for it and probably would have found it and picked it up. Accidents happen I doubt she deliberately did it. I think if she realised she would have mentioned it to be honest.

I would let it go. If it happens again then say something she might just feel awful.

youlethergo · 24/09/2018 12:59

I think you should start with the person it's most likely to be from and try to identify what the pill was and how it got there. You need to know if she's carrying them loose. If it slipped out accidentally or if she knew she had dropped it, and how dangerous it would have been. For instance if it was tramadol it could have been fatal for a baby to ingest. There is really no way that you could be too careful to make sure that didn't happen again. Whoever is carrying pills in their bag needs to stop, really.

TidyDancer · 24/09/2018 12:59

I wouldn't say anything tbh, it's not as if she would've meant to drop it.

If you feel you have to say anything, I would do it in more general terms, ie mentioning that you'd found something dropped where the babies could've got it and how you'd wished your 'friend' had mentioned it. Given that there is no ill intent here, I wouldn't upset anyone with a direct 'word' about what happened.

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 24/09/2018 12:59

My ex mil used to let dc play upstairs while we were there, followed them up one day and boxes of pills beside the bed!!
Oh they won't touch them mil insisted!!
So I never let them up there again. And she never had them unsupervised until they were near teens!!
So no unsupervised is the way forward.

Tinty · 24/09/2018 13:01

Yes you need to say something and also possibly know what pills they carry around in case the baby suddenly becomes sick, because they aren't going to be able to tell you they picked up a pill and ate it.

If they become sick and you don't know why you could tell HCP that baby may possibly have eaten DGM's heart pill etc.

sadnessin · 24/09/2018 13:02

"MIL is this pill yours?
I found it next to the baby's mat"

With an awkward face.

Job done.

She'll (hopefully) apologise, feel sufficiently bad and be more careful.

Johndoe10 · 24/09/2018 13:02

Absolutely say something. It doesn’t matter who it is they need to be more careful.

My dd1 (22 at the time) left a caffeine tablet on her bedroom floor. Dd3 was crawling at the time and could have easily eaten it and made her self very poorly. Even though it was in dd room there were occasions when dd had gotten in.

Everyone needs to be vigilant when in a house with small children especially with medication.

You could could raise it by asking if she had any tablets missing as you found one on the floor by where she was sitting. You don’t have to go in guns blazing but I’d be very firm with this

eosmum · 24/09/2018 13:07

How do you know there was only one dropped? You need to check incase there was more than one, and a child has already eaten it. Symptoms may not be immediately obvious.

delphguelph · 24/09/2018 13:09

Er, yes I'd say something

Original poster

IABURQO · 24/09/2018 13:09

That's a thought, if I can identify what medication it is then I could guess who it belongs to. If it's AIL then I can tell SIL only, if it's MIL then I tell her instead. MIL takes heart medication and AIL has cancer.
It's little, round and mustard-y yellow/brown with a cross on it; any idea how I can find out what it is?

OP posts:

SeaToSki · 24/09/2018 13:11

Do they take the same medicine? If you google the pill colour, shape and any writing/signs on it, you will probably be able to figure out which medicine it is. Maybe that will help you decide what to do

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 24/09/2018 13:12

I think you have to say something. I don't think she realises she's dropped it but a quiet word will hopefully make her be more careful in future.

Where does she keep her pills? Why would it have dropped out?

Original poster

IABURQO · 24/09/2018 13:13

@eosmum - the babies were constantly with people at the party so I don't think they would have had a chance to put something in their mouths without being spotted; I've also done a check around now. It's this morning when I put my boy down on his mat that there would have been most risk; luckily I saw it.

OP posts:

LollyPopsApple · 24/09/2018 13:16

Just tell everyone ‘I found a pill by the baby’s mat, I’m not sure who it belonged to but please make sure if you carry tablets you don’t drop any as it can be very dangerous (and if you lose one let me know as it needs finding!)’

That’s all that’s needed. You don’t know it’s between those two relatives as lots of people take medication and keep it private so it could really be anybody’s, so don’t sweat it worrying about family dynamics and all that nonsense. The safety of the children is what matters, and I’m sure whoever lost it will be aware for the future.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 24/09/2018 13:16

Take the pill you found to the pharmacy and get them to identify it.

DH should speak to his mother about this issue. Do not let this go unchecked.

Tinty · 24/09/2018 13:17

@IABURQO

"Any idea how I can find out what it is?" ask AIL and MIL. Now is not the time to worry about embarrassing them, as another poster said they could have dropped more than one either baby could have eaten them. Heart tablets and cancer tablets are very dangerous if taken by the wrong people let alone a baby.

AIL/MIL did either of you drop a little round mustard-y yellow/brown tablet with a cross on it, on the floor because either baby could have eaten it and become really poorly.

upsideup · 24/09/2018 13:18

She probably didnt drop it today on top of them, it could have been accidently dropped days/weeks ago somwhere else and slowly been kicked and moved it way other there.

Foodylicious · 24/09/2018 13:19

Can you post a pic of the pill?

pigsDOfly · 24/09/2018 13:19

If you don't want to raise the issue with the person who isn't responsible for dropping the pill you could take it to a pharmacist and ask them if they can tell you what it is and what it's treating and go from there. Or you could just ask them if the pill belongs to them.

I don't agree with pps that you shouldn't say anything. This is a very serious issue and the fear of offending a relation doesn't out weigh the potential harm to a small child.

The owner of the pill needs to be made aware this has happened and needs to realise that she needs to be far more careful with her pills in the future.

BlueBug45 · 24/09/2018 13:20

OP you need to tell everyone who was at the party who you know takes pills plus those who don't to be aware of where their pills are around babies, toddlers and young children not just your MIL.

If you do it this way you are not singling anyone out and ensuring people who take food supplements like vitamin pills are included as they are dangerous.

Obviously if you can work out the kind of pill that was dropped first it would have a bigger impact on the person who actually dropped it.

pigsDOfly · 24/09/2018 13:20

x post with pp.

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