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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MIL dropped a pill by baby's playmat and didn't tell me

102 replies

IABURQO · 24/09/2018 12:50

More of a WWYD. Let's start by being clear that everyone is lovely and I get along well with all of them.

We had people here at the weekend and there are two crawling babies; ours and BIL/SILs. I've just found a pill on the floor next to the playmat for the babies; nobody told either of us that they had dropped a pill. The only people with pills they take in the day are MIL and AIL.

If it was AIL, then she sees the babies rarely and it's better to say nothing because she just got back on good terms with PIL, who would both be angry if they thought AIL wasn't taking enough care around the babies.

Given the seat the pill was next to, it was more likely MIL however, who does see the babies a lot. DH thinks she must have not realised or would have told us, but she carries daily pills so I don't see how she wouldn't have noticed. She has the babies visit at her house, she might get them on her own at some points and she's around them an awful lot; so I feel like it would be useful to remind her to be super careful with the pills. However nicely I put it, I know it'll upset her that she'll know she's done something very wrong, and as above if it actually isn't her pill then unfortunately it's likely to cause big issues with AIL. But I'm not happy that there was a pill on the floor where my baby plays and nobody gave me a chance to look for it.

As a side point, should I tell SIL so she can remember to be careful with the baby on their floor? That could cause issues with her taking their baby round less and if I was telling MIL I think is unnecessary.

So, who would you tell (if anyone)?

OP posts:

Medea13 · 24/09/2018 13:21

OP, you say

DH thinks she must have not realised or would have told us, but she carries daily pills so I don't see how she wouldn't have noticed.

Do you genuinely believe your MIL INTENTIONALLY left a pill on the floor? Come on; why the fuck would anybody do that? Do you think she wants to harm her grandchildren? If so, you have a serious problem (either with a dangerous MIL or, more probably, your own trust issues).

If it was her (and you don't know that for a fact yet) then OF COURSE she didn't realise she dropped it!

LollyPopsApple · 24/09/2018 13:21

Alternatively, message everyone with a picture of the pill and say ‘whose is this? I found it near the baby’s play mat. Could have harmed him so please don’t bring medication to the house again. Would you like it back?’

TheOrigBrave · 24/09/2018 13:22

I'm pretty sure the person who dropped it will not have realised.

IF they did realise and chose to leave it then that's a whole other issue.

Going with the former option, I'd simply state the fact - "I found a pill on the carpet". Hopefully the dropper will 'admit' it right away and apologise - you really don't need to spell out the potential danger. IF they get defensive or both deny it then you'll need to be a bit more assertive.

I can see how it happens. A loose pill in a bag (shouldn't be the case, but it happens), gets pulled out with a tissue or something.

I take tablets, have done for a while. My kids are older so I do have to be mindful when I go away that there are babies or toddlers about - but accidents happen. That's why we all have to be vigilant around babies - probably more so when there are many people about.

Familyfeud22 · 24/09/2018 13:22

Can you post a pic of the pill? I work on a heart ward so very familiar with cardiac medications.

Definitely say something, if one of them had swallowed it, it could be really dangerous!

youlethergo · 24/09/2018 13:22

Thank goodness you found it though OP.

I have to take medications and on one, terrible occasion, due to a misunderstanding that will never happen again, my toddler got her hands on some medication. I found it with the capsule ends chewed off. I can't describe the feeling of utter panic. Of course we were in A and E in minutes and she ended up having no ill effects. Had to spend the entire day there though.

What would have been worse is if she had taken that medication and I hadn't realised what had happened and known to get treatment. People don't realise that standard medication for an adult can cause a child's liver to pack up.

You really, really cannot be too careful to ensure this doesn't happen again. Whoever is carrying tablets loose in their bag needs to leave their bag outside your home.

Allthewaves · 24/09/2018 13:24

My mum and dad do this. Mum hands them to dad. Dad goes to take them and some always get dropped. We agreed they take them in the kitchen

youlethergo · 24/09/2018 13:24

Medea13 The OP is not saying it was intentional. She's saying that she doesn't see how the MIL couldn't have been unaware that the mistake had taken place because she would have been a tablet down. You're very aggressive.

loveskaka · 24/09/2018 13:24

Dnt be scared to say, ur babies safety depends on it. Just say I found this pill and is it urs, if yes tell her she needs to be more careful, she surely needs to understand that it's dangerous for pills to be on the floor and if she dsnt then that's her prob x

loveskaka · 24/09/2018 13:26

I defo wouldn't wait till it happens again as next time ur baby could find it first x

SirVixofVixHall · 24/09/2018 13:30

Absolutely say something. Either person would be devastated if they caused harm to a baby, so would surely want to know ? When my dds were small both my parents were on lots of medication and my Dad in particular would sometimes drop a pill. I had to be extremely careful and vigilant in their house. My Dad wasn’t well enough to trust completely that he would notice dropping one, so although I did ask them to be aware, I knew that they might not be. In your case your MIL sounds otherwise fine and I’m sure would very much want to know as she will then be extra careful.
Small yellow pill sounds familiar to me but I can’t think what it is, hopefully someone else will know.

ScrambledSmegs · 24/09/2018 13:32

Does it have a number on it?

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 24/09/2018 13:35

Group message/email

Hi all,

Just a quick one to say I found a pill down by DCs play mat. As you can imagine I am quite concerned that this was dropped without notice. I am hoping it was just the one pill dropped and baby hasn't picked up and eaten any!
Can you all please be note I will not bring this up again, hey accidents happen and hopefully this time we are lucky DC hasn't had any. However, if you do need to take tablets whilst the children are around could you please take them in a different room and check that none are dropped!

StripyDeckchair · 24/09/2018 13:35

There are pill identifier websites btw, in case that would be helpful. (e.g. reference.medscape.com/pill-identifier)

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 24/09/2018 13:36

Yes group message is the way to go.

frogsoup · 24/09/2018 13:37

My mum has dropped lethal pills in our house, was entirely unaware! Luckily our kids are past the stage of putting random stuff in their mouths (and have been briefed on dangers of granny's pills lying around!) Of course you should point it out, so she can hopefully be more careful, though unfortunately the ultimate solution may just be for you to be hyper-aware, as elderly, unwell and taking strong medication is inevitably going to be a high risk for inadvertently dropping pills.

bellinisurge · 24/09/2018 13:38

If I came around to your house with my baby and found random pills on the floor, I doubt I'd ever visit again. Yes, I am that horrible.

Fishforclues · 24/09/2018 13:40

Just message round and say you found a pill by the playmat, it was brown with a little cross. Luckily the baby didn't get to it first so no harm done, but could you all please be really careful with medications in future please?

Don't give any headspace to detective work, demanding apologies or "what if"s. You don't need anyone to own up. Say what happened, lesson learned, keep it light, move on.

FruitofAutumn · 24/09/2018 13:40

You don't know who dropped it.Send group email or text ' Hi just to let you know I found a pill on the floor by the playmat.Please can I ask everyone to be super careful as DD is at the stage of putting everything in her mouth.Hope you had a good weekend it was lovely to see everyone'

pigsDOfly · 24/09/2018 13:40

Medea13. Of course OP isn't saying it was deliberate but whoever the pill belongs to is being very careless and needs to be made aware of it.

No one should have pills out where children are, it might not be intentional but it's pretty bloody stupid.

frogsoup · 24/09/2018 13:41

"she doesn't see how the MIL couldn't have been unaware that the mistake had taken place because she would have been a tablet down"

If you are taking a dozen+ pills a day, long-term medication, it's easy to see how you could drop one and be unaware - it's not like a course of antibiotics where you get to the end of the pack and think 'whoops, there should be one more here'.

BarbarianMum · 24/09/2018 13:42

How could you be unaware that youd dropped a pill? Well, quite easily if you take several at a time. She (or whoever) may not even have dropped it at your house, could have been lose in a handbag or pocket and fallen out when they got out a tissue. Df dropped a tablet in our house recently - it was caught in the folds of his clothing and dropped out when he took his cardi off. Luckily my kids are too old to have been endangered.

frogsoup · 24/09/2018 13:42

My parents need to take tablets with meals, so if they are staying with us it's pretty hard to avoid doing it where children are present!

daughterofanarchy · 24/09/2018 13:43

My MIL was terrible for this. She took a lot of meds. In all I found (on separate occasions) 14 tablets. Each time I left it to DH to have a word because I would have lost my rag big time especially as my DC could Have put them in her mouth. (We live with PILs)
Her excuse would be “well one dropped and I couldn’t find it” -she didn’t think to ask one of us to help look for it! Then she would start crying and saying she wanted to die rather than take all these medicines, completely missing the point that we were trying to make. In the end DH got her meds put in pharmacy trays and stored in the garage which DC couldn’t access. So she had to go in there to take them.

nokidshere · 24/09/2018 13:45

Maybe she meant to pick it up and got distracted or maybe she didn't notice she had dropped it. One missing wouldn't register as being dropped somewhere, I would just assume that I'd forgotten to put it in my bag.

All this nonsense about not seeing her again or not leaving her with the baby is stupid. Like most other things this can be solved with a normal,conversation and a request that pills be taken in the kitchen in future. No harm was done this time just put practices in place so it doesn't happen again.

Littlechocola · 24/09/2018 13:46

Both have serious health issues so saying something would help them know that they hadn’t taken a medication.
Come at it with concern for missed medication might make them less likely to cause a scene. Add that it’s lucky that the babies didn’t pick it up as a side note.

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