Asked to explain myself by a child!

[DucksOnThePond]

So in a pool earlier. There are always publicly accessible floats and noodles but never toys. DC playing with a toy. It has been borrowed from another friend at the pool but is certainly not for public use. Suddenly find nyself being told - by a 5/6 year old boy in armbands! - that said DC is unkind for immediately not handing over this toy and that it was outrageous I wasn’t forcing it. Unwilling to engage I said very little and moved on. 5 mins later at a different area of the pool a follow up of ‘excuse me, DC should hand it over. Did you bring it from home’. A third time and my response was that as an adult I was not explaining myself to a rude child.

Since when did kids not only feel comfortable enough challenging a stranger but actually harassing them?! No sign of a parent at all.

SpikyCactus - yes! You remind me of the Michael Macintyre sketch on exactly that. When does sharing stop being sharing and start being stealing?

And I notice that my call regarding when it stops being ‘little tyke’ or ‘inqiisitive with a sense of injustive’ Behaviour and becomes ‘CF’ behaviour seems to have lead to a dead end of responses. At best I got called mean spirited and a twat. Well, in 10 years these little tykes will be cheeky fuckers and the same posters will be bemoaning how they have possibly spawned people so entitled.

OP from what you have described here you were an offhand arsehole to a 5 year old.

Why not just explain that it was a toy from home ? Why be such a dick about it?

UnderHerEye - I told them that. No need to get emotional

OP i'm still unclear about the origin of the toy. It wasn't from home was it? because you said it was borrowed off another dc at the pool. Where did that dc get it from? I'm suspecting it was a pool toy and the little boy pestering knew it was for the pool which is why he kept pestering you and also why you didn't answer him. But i may be wrong

It sounds to me like the boy asked OP's child for the toy, was told no, and then went and essentially told the OP off for not making her child hand the toy over.

I will have just said it's our toy, not for sharing, and wouldn't have engaged with him after that.

It wasn’t a pool toy. It was from someone I knew at the pool. That does not make it a pool toy

OP what you just said was so succinct, I don't understand why you couldn't have said that to the boy? short simple and straight to the point. Instead of you saying very little and the dc toing and froing 3 times, only for you to let out the tirade of "I'm adult......yadayada, You could have just said what you said above.

Ahh you thought you were going to get a unanimous YANBU for being so clever and cool didn’t you OP, and now you don’t like the fact you are being called out for being an arsehole to a kid so are getting defensive.

If you don’t want to be called out for being a dick then don’t post bragging about being a dick.

Vinylsamso I don’t understand why I’m a possessive old hag because I want to use my own property that I’ve paid for and brought with me? Would you also let someone pick up your car keys and use your car?

Well there’s this little thing called sharing. So basically, even though something is yours. If it is feasible and not ridiculous and it’s something that wouldn’t trouble you too much then you take joy in lending or sharing your things with other people. Then sometimes in return, people do the same to you... and we all live happily ever after.

P.s Yes, if someone I knew, that was old enough and responsible needed to borrow my car I’d let them!? Bit different to a pool toy though isn’t it 😂

Sharing, ie give it to me.

I hated those play sessions where some parent would say 'oh, the little girl isn't sharing' and I'd say 'the little girl is playing with the toy and when she has finished with it, YOUR CHILD CAN TAKE THEIR TURN' Completely different concept. If its their own toy, at a random place no, not obliged to share or let anybody have a go unless they choose.

Your not obliged to share things no but what a lovely World it would be if we all did! Not to be. You paid for it, you earned it, so no one else touch. Just think it’s a shame.
Anyway I’ll continue to share because what you give out you get back, that’s a fact.

Under her eye: Not really love.

Well, in 10 years these little tykes will be cheeky fuckers and the same posters will be bemoaning how they have possibly spawned people so entitled.

My little tykes are fine, thanks. They have their annoying moments (as all children do) but they'd never dream of being mean to a younger (or any) child for no reason. Hopefully they continue being kind and agreeable as they grow older and don't find themselves ranting on an Internet forum because a 5 year old dared to speak to them.

Hello Akanamali - I thought you had left. It’s so lovely to see you back :)

Nope, I was just putting one of my entitled little tykes back to bed

I don't understand why you didn't tell the lifeguard there was an unattended small child in the pool. Problem solved .

We have a rule, I'm guessing it's national but may be a state based thing, that a child around 5yo must be 2 arms length from the supervising adult in the pool. By god it is enforced as well. It's why mine virtually never went to public pools, fair enough when they were younger but once they got to 5/6/7 and could swim well I saw no need to be that close, more than happy to supervise from pool side where you actually get a much better view of them anyway as you are looking down and in if that makes sense.

What if an adult had asked you the same question? Would you have responded in the same way? If not, why not?

Lydia - which question?

YANBU I am so sick of rude children who are clearly dragged up by even ruder parents. Time to fight back.

Lydia - which question?

Did you bring it from home?

Already answered that. Not a pool toy

I know.

I think you're confused.

Time to fight back.

This is all fun and games until you meet a kid whose parent is partial to the occasional brawl.

You may be too classy and mature to fight but you're never too classy and mature to receive a beating. I find it's never a good idea to provoke strangers because you never know how they'll react.

I think you handled it absolutely fine OP and I’m with you, child was rude and entitled by continually asking when it was perfectly clear the toy was not for sharing. Even if it was for sharing and had been a pool toy, in my opinion, he shouldn’t be trying to take it off your child. He should just wait his turn. You did nothing wrong.

I find no fun in drama or scraps, I just refuse to be cowed by scum.