Asked to explain myself by a child!

[DucksOnThePond]

So in a pool earlier. There are always publicly accessible floats and noodles but never toys. DC playing with a toy. It has been borrowed from another friend at the pool but is certainly not for public use. Suddenly find nyself being told - by a 5/6 year old boy in armbands! - that said DC is unkind for immediately not handing over this toy and that it was outrageous I wasn’t forcing it. Unwilling to engage I said very little and moved on. 5 mins later at a different area of the pool a follow up of ‘excuse me, DC should hand it over. Did you bring it from home’. A third time and my response was that as an adult I was not explaining myself to a rude child.

Since when did kids not only feel comfortable enough challenging a stranger but actually harassing them?! No sign of a parent at all.

Oh god, of course you shouldn't have to keep justifying yourself to a random child. I also must be from the olden days as I've taught my children to be polite and well mannered especially to adults. As there is a hierarchy. Children should defer to adults as a general rule.

Sorry but I cant get past PMSLing at 5/6 a child using the word 'outrageous'.
Arl man Connelly, there.

Children should defer to adults as a general rule

Apart from MN it would seem.

my first comment does not rule out the second.

No, but it makes it much less believable. Its strange that you'd omit the only detail that justifies your anger from your original rant.

Even if the toy was owned by the pool, the correct approach would be for the child to wait until it was free, or to politely say excuse me can I please have a turn with that toy. Not to ask for it to be handed over immediately and be outraged that it wasn’t.

@SpikyCactus that wasn't the impression I got, the impression I got was the child asked if they could have the toy, OP said no and the child came back to ask if it was free yet a couple of times.

I'm with you Ducks.

And at that age, the boy should have had an adult in the water with him ... curious as to where the adult was seeing as he was free to follow you and your DC around demanding your son give him his toy!

I'd be annoyed, too. But agree it wasn't your job to engage any more than you did and teach him social niceties. They wouldn't have meant anything to him anyway coming from you, seeing as his behaviour was so persistent, clearly a habit.

He'll go far in life! I think he sounds great personally.

I have a 5yo. I spend way too much time in swimming pools with small children. They are never left alone unsupervised. It just doesn’t happen.

I'd explain the first-time - no, it's ours from home and we won't be sharing. Any further advances and I'd just tell them to go away.

He'd make a great door to door salesman. You've got to admire his persistence . Little shit

If asked nicely there's no reason why you shouldn't politely tell them it's your toy and you don't want to lose it.

As an adult we have to model good behaviour and ignoring someone isn't very polite.

Obviously if he shouted oi you or something you'd be perfectly sensible not to engage, but there could be no harm saying the truth here.

Stingy and rude!
This kind of thing makes me cringe. I’m too scared to touch anything floating round in the pool Incase some possessive old hag goes mental but on the other hand I’m too scared to ask for my own stuff back because I don’t want to seem like a possessive old hag. Let it go for a second and it’s someone else’s to play with the whole time we there while my child winges that it’s not fair and I’m like “”shhhhh, don’t make a scene”
You were rude to snub the child. Kids are constantly learning and you taught him that adults are rude and weird.

Also went on holiday recently with a friend who hung onto her kids pool toys like they were gold dust, despite a younger kid wanting a go and enjoying them far more than we were. I just thought 🙄 yuck, embarrassing behaviour.

You weren't being asked to explain yourself, you were bring talked to by a child. Don't you talk to children?? How rude.

Vinylsamso - your post makes no sense. Can you rephrase?

Your second post makes more sense. I wasn’t hanging onto anything.

Sounds like a right nause should have told him to clear off and mind his own business.

I said my friend was also possessive over (hanging on to) her pool toys and I thought it was embarrassing. Personally I’d have given them a go! But at the very least I’d of said “Oh sorry love, we brought this from home”

Pulled this up from another poster:

YANBU. Why should you make it a ‘learning moment’? You are not responsible for educating a rude child when its parents can’t be bothered.

What a bloody sad World we live in. I live amongst these people 😩

Op this child came back three times despite you saying no. In your situation with no sign of parents I would have told the child that he was being rude and he needed to go back to his parents. He was ride and entitled and Welshmaiden85 i am surprised you think thats normal as a teacher. My children at this age would have been to shy to engage once with a strange adult let alone repeatedly nagging at them and following them around.

If an adult said no to the they would accept that. The only exceptions to that would be me and DH (and possibly grandparents)

Children are, of course, equal to adults but if an adult was that rude I would not accept it either

What if the child meant no, not right now rather than no, it's ours and not for sharing?

ots of pools do have pool toys, and it is absolutely obvious that this is what the little boy thought your toy was.Why on earth you couldn't have told him that I don't understand.It wasn't the LB that was rude!!

“Sorry this toy isn’t for sharing, I will have to tell your parent/s if you come back again. If you think this is unfair please tell them to come speak to me”

Not always easy to think of in the moment I know

Vinylsamso I don’t understand why I’m a possessive old hag because I want to use my own property that I’ve paid for and brought with me? Would you also let someone pick up your car keys and use your car?