Asked to explain myself by a child!

[DucksOnThePond]

So in a pool earlier. There are always publicly accessible floats and noodles but never toys. DC playing with a toy. It has been borrowed from another friend at the pool but is certainly not for public use. Suddenly find nyself being told - by a 5/6 year old boy in armbands! - that said DC is unkind for immediately not handing over this toy and that it was outrageous I wasn’t forcing it. Unwilling to engage I said very little and moved on. 5 mins later at a different area of the pool a follow up of ‘excuse me, DC should hand it over. Did you bring it from home’. A third time and my response was that as an adult I was not explaining myself to a rude child.

Since when did kids not only feel comfortable enough challenging a stranger but actually harassing them?! No sign of a parent at all.

Maisy - you read between the lines... unfortunately, incorrectly. Where did I say my children “should have access to whatever another child has regardless of context” 🤔? My children would share in most situations, they are kind children who have been taught good morals 😃. I’m not sure the definition of injustice is as you described, maybe in your household? In mine we tend to have discussions regarding kindness to fellow human beings. I do realise that some people are unable to show such compassion to their fellow human. It’s sad. A young child was ignored, not one person on this post is aware of what this child’s situation is, maybe he has SEN, maybe not, maybe he is ignored by his caregivers, maybe he is from a loving family and he was making a reasonable request to SHARE a toy (one that didn’t say DO NOT TOUCH from the home of DucksOnThePond). When the time machine is invented I suggest a load of you jump in and go back to Victorian England... when children knew their place!

Hahahahaha... oh DucksOnThePond, sharing is not giving, but yes, if my child had a new toy of course he would share it. What odd behaviour that it’s not normal to share? I don’t know an irritating child that never leaves them alone even when they say no 👀... I know plenty of adults who fit the brief though and I BET most of them detest sharing, what a horrendous prospect. Honestly chaps, learn perspective.

But my child sees injustice... children are pretty black and white

Explain your where your child saw injustice occur?

I am being mainly facetious. My point is that just because a child sees injustice does not actually mean it’s there.

Injustice isn’t the issue, it’s kindness. I didn’t realise you were being facetious 😂🤪🤯... However, your child did witness an unkind reaction from their mother, which they probably deem normal. Since behaviour is learnt. Sad really, as that child in the pool (who was basically described by you as being abandoned) couldn’t even find kindness in a stranger. He sure won’t be depending on the kindness of strangers! You didn’t need to give the child your toy, you could have said something similar to “ah I’m sorry sweetie, this toy belongs to a friend of mine, so I can’t just hand it to anyone - enjoy your day”. Sometimes even them ‘godly creatures’, adults, can’t take no for an answer, so it’s not unreasonable to expect the same question twice from a child. A child isn’t an adult, so their comprehension is fully functional, but they are aware of simple behaviour being unjust and so may require more explanation (see above).

Isn’t fully functional

When the time machine is invented I suggest a load of you jump in and go back to Victorian England... when children knew their place!
People think a child shouldn't repeatedly bug random strangers to use a toy and that their parent probably should have had a closer eye on a 5 year old in arm bands (especially if the child has SEND needs as people seem to be using this as an excuse for repeatedly pushing to get their own way). But course, everyone thinks children should never speak.

Nope... I think children should be treated in a kind way and rather than ignoring and moving on rather than being “unwilling to engage”, she should have just explained to the CHILD that the toy wasn’t going to be shared. Actually whether the child has SEN issues is irrelevant, it’s rude and teaches him that it’s acceptable to be rude.

Although you believe you only have responsibilities to those you have spawned and that this little flea shouldn’t have even been looking at you 🙄. Do you believe you have a responsibility to teach your own child that when somebody speaks to you the correct thing to do is to smile and answer as politely as possible? You do know your child is watching every move you make don’t you?

If I caught my child refusing to engage with another child trying to talk to them I’d be reminding them how to socially engage.

"I think the poster is so typical of people these days. There’s so many mean, rude people around who think everyone else is entitled. There’s this modern day thing that people seem to think your being a strong woman to dismiss some of the most basic human instincts of kindness and communication."

This. It totally sums it up. I genuinely struggle to understand where people come from on here, half the time. It's very sad. What hope do we have of solving the massive challenges we're facing, as a species, if this is the level and topic of discussion? I'm genuinely curious. The 'entitledness' (how people love to band about that word) is just dripping - but not off the children.

^^ this

Completely agree.