Asked to explain myself by a child!

[DucksOnThePond]

So in a pool earlier. There are always publicly accessible floats and noodles but never toys. DC playing with a toy. It has been borrowed from another friend at the pool but is certainly not for public use. Suddenly find nyself being told - by a 5/6 year old boy in armbands! - that said DC is unkind for immediately not handing over this toy and that it was outrageous I wasn’t forcing it. Unwilling to engage I said very little and moved on. 5 mins later at a different area of the pool a follow up of ‘excuse me, DC should hand it over. Did you bring it from home’. A third time and my response was that as an adult I was not explaining myself to a rude child.

Since when did kids not only feel comfortable enough challenging a stranger but actually harassing them?! No sign of a parent at all.

This is just what happens when you take privately owned toys into public spaces.

I no longer take DS's scooter to the park with us. I've had children try and wrench it from my hands, even after I have explained that it is our toy and we brought it from home.

Parents always seem to just watch and never say anything to their kids.

Normally the little ones get the message immediately, but older ones like 5/6 year olds tend to come back and hassle.

I don't think it's entitlement, kids that age are very hot in what's fair and what's not, he was just being age appropriate.

Or maybe he asked his parents whether it was a pool toy for everyone and they didn't know so they asked him to ask you? It's just a question, I don't get why you think this child felt like he was entitled to it.

If you'd have answered his question, said that it was yours from home and sorry he couldn't use it, that probably would have been the end of it.

Tbh my 5 year old is taught to take turns and would have told you how important it was to share and let others ha e a go. IF you told him sorry that toy is ours not a shared pool toy he would have accepted that explanation.

Children should be seen and not heard, you should’ve dunked him.

I don't see why you would just politely reply to the child, "Sorry poppet, this is a toy from home/belongs to a friend and it's not part of the pool toys".

No further explanation needed and it wasn't an explanation of you that was needed, just confirmation about the toy. I don't understand the issue.

You should have just said it was your toy and it wasn’t for sharing. This is how children learn social rules, it’s not just their parents it’s everyone else around them.

Why you wouldn't reply, I meant.

Kids are young, not stupid and they still deserve a bit of respect. How would you want your child treated/spoken to?

Yanbu, i wouldn’t have explained myself to a random rude child either.
What you said was fine, no more explanations after that should have been necessary.

I agree with the other who have said that by talking to the child you could have turned it into a teaching/learning moment. As is, you have just left it in the same unhappy state and the child will continue doing what he's doing.

Agree with others - why simply not explain? As far as the child is concerned, there may not be such a clear difference between floats/noodles (always open to everyone's use, presumably turn taking is expected) and toys - so he assumed the same rules applied. Ime, people don't often bring toys to pools, so he may not have experienced this before. As far as he's concerned, you're being rude by monopolising the exciting new toy the pool has provided! YOU knew it was someone specific's toy, so just explain that - it's a toy that was brought from home, not a general sharing toy provided by the pool. Easy, problem solved.

What an annoying brat. But I would have given him the answer the toy belonged to a friend and you had borrowed it. Or just told a lie and said it was yours. So wouldn't be handing it over.

And why can't a child have a toy in a pool just in case somebody else might take a fancy to it. That's not teaching children anything.

I think because children are raised is childcare now where every toy is shared they think everywhere is same .

'Sharing' to lots of young children means someone else handing something over immediately because they want to 'share' it. Bollocks.

I correct that a lot with little ones.

YANBU. Why should you make it a ‘learning moment’? You are not responsible for educating a rude child when its parents can’t be bothered.

If there are often things available for use he probably thought it belonged to the pool and being hogged. Why not just say it was yours and not the pool's?

YANBU cheeky little boy for keeping on after you had told him!

Yanbu you answered him and he kept pestering very rude

In a similar situation, I replied, “sorry, this belongs to us, not the pool”.

If we are using pool toys I encourage DD to give up after using for a while.

I’m in the ‘why didn’t you just explain properly’ camp. Yes it was on the rude side for them to repeatedly ask, but I don’t get the weirdness about being asked by a question. Children can be pretty black and white about things and as someone else said, they were trying to right something they perceived as being unfair.

A child doesn't understand what's going on in the world until they are told or work it out by watching and/or asking questions. You were rude to ignore the child and your attitude is bizarrely hostile; "why should I explain myself..." er, you didn't have to, but why wouldn't you just say the toy belonged to your dc and he doesn't have to share.

Children hate what they perceive as unfairness.*

Even if the toy was a public one, why should she hand it over immediately on request. It's not unfair.
Boy there are some selfish and entitled people around, of all ages.

DC playing with a toy. It has been borrowed from another friend at the pool but is certainly not for public use. Suddenly find nyself being told - by a 5/6 year old boy in armbands! - that said DC is unkind for immediately not handing over this toy and that it was outrageous I wasn’t forcing it.

Is there a bit missing here? Did the boy approach your kid first and get rebuffed?

Anyway, can't for the life of me imagine why you didn't just say, "look kid, this is our toy brought from home. It doesn't belong to the pool. now scram"

How hard is that?

'Sharing' to lots of young children means someone else handing something over immediately because they want to 'share' it.

Yes, to this.

Even if the toy was a public one, why should she hand it over immediately on request. It's not unfair.

She definitely shouldn't have handed it over. Not in a zillion years. But she should have said "This is OUR toy - not the pool's.", imo.