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Original poster

Shitty homemade Christmas Gifts

441 replies

justilou1 · 22/09/2018 00:37

I’m really loving the homemade Christmas gifts thread, and am watching it for inspiration. Can we start one for ideas for things to avoid - ie glitter-encrusted his&hers champagne flutes.

OP posts:
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12
wonkylegs · 22/09/2018 10:47

I'm always picky about who gets home-made gifts and it's always specifically for them. So last year I made my niece a dress and a matching one for her doll, I made my dads girlfriend a necklace that matched her favourite top and I made my mum who has dementia a framed picture of all her family which was labelled with everyone's names. I also made my friends daughter an outfit in her mums favourite fabric and my MIL cushions that matched her newly decorated living room. All were received well and have been used.

The only exception to this is the plum Brandy & sloe gin which I give to lots of adult friends and generally has people returning bottles asking if there happens to be a little bit more to top it up with... so I'm guessing it's actually welcome.

I know homemade can be a bit of a marmite thing so I'm always picky about what I do and who for.

MariaYouveGottaSeeHer · 22/09/2018 10:48

I definitely prefer homemade edible stuff. Palm oil ridden store bought shite can do one. And I know we’re going to get a tonne of it —from in-laws—. It has no redeeming qualities, other than a long shelf life.

Homemade trinketty things on the other hand are not for me. Ditto anything with glitter.

CrazyDogLady87 · 22/09/2018 10:49

@TwoOddSocks she put it away in a drawer and eventually used the frame for a picture of her pet dog! This is exactly what i would do! i think your mother and i would get on brilliantly

for those wanting to make xmas cakes (standard round 7"/8") it is going to cost you around £25 per cake (supermarket purchases) to make a decent and acceptable cake to gift, so if you're looking for a financially manageable gift this might not be for you, especially if you are wanting to make more than one, however if this is affordable for you and you have no idea where to start, feel free to message me privately and I can give you some pointers,

JensenElephant · 22/09/2018 10:52

This is a good point! If someone bought me a tax textbook because it’s my job so I must love it I’d be a bit

Would probably admire anyone who thought they had the skill to write a tax textbook for you, that beats a recorded CD or a book of poems.

arranfan · 22/09/2018 10:56

You sound pretty up yourself, tbh. Chocolate salami my arse

I didn't name it :) It's a Nigella thing tho' not helped by the auto-correct I didn't notice. Chocolate salame. It's fridge cake made in a salami/cracker shape.

www.nigella.com/recipes/chocolate-salame

And, yes, I am a very good baker - that's competence, not being "up yourself".

thegreylady · 22/09/2018 10:58

We all love Christmas cake though many folk don’t. I am happy to volunteer to eat any unwanted bean tin Christmas cakes and will return the tins if included .

JensenElephant · 22/09/2018 10:58

The best presents are those made with thought, I love them.

I said coloured in not drawn. No thought at all- parents buys 75 pen pots cheap tins and prints out 75 sheets of images with a printed pattern and forces the child labour to keep on colouring until everyone they know has one made for them.

Then they donate them to the school fair- with a minimum price request- where they don't sell. What do the school do with them then?

A lot of people send homemade stuff with a label saying sell for £3 as they were expensive to make- so it all ends up unsold and they get sniffy when you offer it back.

Despacitoincognito · 22/09/2018 10:59

Anyone who has ever made jam or received jam should watch this hilarious comedy sketch from Josh Widdicombe. I cried laughing the first time I watched it. 'Please be jam! Please be jam!'

JensenElephant · 22/09/2018 11:02

Anyone who has ever made jam or received jam should watch this hilarious comedy sketch from Josh Widdicombe. I cried laughing the first time I watched it. 'Please be jam! Please be jam!'

I saw him do it live. The best thing was all the people coming out saying-well everyone loves my jam!

EeeSheWasThin · 22/09/2018 11:05

LuluJakey1 I’ll be weird with you...we all love Christmas cake. I make several for friends and family. At their request, not forced on them!

The best home made gift I received was a canvas shopping bag, in a lovely dog design fabric. I’m always asked where I got it and use it a lot.

With you all on hot chocolate kits in kilner jars though.

Pannalash · 22/09/2018 11:06

Ajas
spend hours weaving gerbil shawls

Genius 😂😂

Hanyu · 22/09/2018 11:07

A friend gave me a framed picture of her dogs. She had stuck acorns around the frame with a glue gun. All the acorns fell off.

It wasn't my favorite gift ever. 😆

WickedGoodDoge · 22/09/2018 11:11

@passwordfailure I love treacle toffee. If you find your sister has been faking it all these years, feel free to send it my way instead. Grin

YesSheCan · 22/09/2018 11:14

Anything made fron oranges that you have dried yourself
Yes yes and yes, hahaha!

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 22/09/2018 11:14

I'll take all of the unwanted handmade crap that nobody else wants! I think there is something joyous about it and the truly terrible stuff makes me laugh.

I have all the sensible, useful stuff I'll ever need, so I won't be disappointed by not getting something I was really hoping for. Christmas needs laughter more than I need sensible gifts, so I embrace the tat.

I put much less effort into making gifts now than I used to after my mother asked me to knit her a shawl. I did and it turned out very well, although the (cashmere) yarn was very difficult to work with and I hated the shade she chose. I went round to her house a week or so after Christmas and saw the shawl lining her dog's basket!

YesSheCan · 22/09/2018 11:17

@JensenElephant a knitted pouch for a KitKat - crying here. Are you friends/rels a bit...odd?

bananasandwicheseveryday · 22/09/2018 11:17

I like getting homemade gifts. Most of the people that give them to me know me well enough to know what I can / can't eat and know my taste in 'stuff'. The presents that I have not been able to use, or which have been unsuitable for various reasons, tend to be the ones where the giver has spent more money than they should have, on a present just for the sake of giving me a present.
I have also given homemade presents - sweets, mini Christmas cakes, gifts I've seen or crocheted. It's amazing, considering some of the views shared here, that I've often been asked to make them again - by people who were given something different, in different colours for the original recipient etc.
When dc1 was at university, they made jams, marmalades etc then added homemade scones/ bread and gave them as gifts to some family members ( baked goods made on the day they were given). And now, several years later, those family members request the same gift every year.
Maybe our family is just more appreciative of the time and effort spent, rather than the cash value. Nice to see there are some on here with similar values.

YesSheCan · 22/09/2018 11:19

Last year I made my boyfriend some beard oil, and the packaging for it. We are still together, in spite of that rather than because of it, I think.

MrsFionaCharming · 22/09/2018 11:20

But I saw these fab homemade slippers on Facebook, I was going to make them for all my friends!

Shitty homemade Christmas Gifts
DabHandWithAAllenKey · 22/09/2018 11:26

My friend knits and she is, tbf, a very good knitter, but only uses mustard or olive.

Please if you are reading this, I do not want any more sludge coloured knitwear.

rainbowsandsmiles · 22/09/2018 11:29

Maybe our family is just more appreciative of the time and effort spent, rather than the cash value. Nice to see there are some on here with similar values

I hear you, I'm the same. I even like what some so charmingly refer to as "glittery shit." Grin
Some of these on this thread are very outing - frames with acorns on being just one of the examples.
Would be kind of karma if any of those who made some on these threads presents are sat at home thinking "hey, I made that! Right biatch, you're getting fuck all this year, see how you like that" lol

CrazyDogLady87 · 22/09/2018 11:31

@steppemum .A proper thick dark moist cake should be made in october/november, left to settle, and can be eaten right through January. if your cake isn't like that, you're not making proper christmas cake. (the amount of booze in it may be relevant)

You are not wrong, my recipe is handed down from definitely my great grandmother. (im not sure if her mother gave it to her) it also has margin notes with changes regarding the rations during the war! i laminated it as it wasnt in best condition when it was given to me

the old recipes are the best

steppemum · 22/09/2018 11:33

for those wanting to make xmas cakes (standard round 7"/8") it is going to cost you around £25 per cake (supermarket purchases) to make a decent and acceptable cake to gift

don;t know what supermarket you go to, but you need to find a cheaper one!!

(and the cake gifts are all about the baked bean sized tins, so that is a 2"-3" cake, not a 7"-8")

BaconAndAvocado · 22/09/2018 11:33

This thread is bloody hilarious Grin

SaucyJack loving your name tag........are you a naughty one??!!!

YesSheCan · 22/09/2018 11:37

@DabHandWithAAllenKey I really like mustard and olive. Do you have any photos of the knitwear? I am a size 10. TIA