To only pay for vegan food at my wedding?

[ClaraBanana7]

Haven't set a date yet, but it'll be in around 2 years so it's not right around the corner or anything, but DP and I are both vegans. Neither of us have a problem with other people eating animal products, I don't think I've ever even brought up veganism unless I'm at a restaurant and need to order because I really hate confrontation and I've seen/heard so many cruel and horrible things being said to vegans. That said, we don't want to pay for the guests to be served animal products at our wedding.
Some of my friends think it's unfair and that restaurants etc are pandering to the vegan 'fad' (even though I've been vegan all my life) so I should cater to everyone's dietary requirements. I told them I was considering putting a meat option on the catering form, but that whoever picked it would have to pay for it themselves as I really don't want to give my own money towards that industry. But, my friends also think it's unfair that some people have to pay and others don't.
DP doesn't want to have an animal product option at all, and tbh I would also prefer this, but I want a way of not isolating people who can't go a meal without eating animal products.

I would not want to eat a vegan or even vegetarian meal tbh. I would come but happily skip the meal of that was all that was offered.

I find that a very bizarre statement and point of view. Do you never eat a salad unless it has meat in it? Would you never eat a non-meat (i.e. vegetarian) pasta dish?

It must be so limiting to refuse to eat all those meals because they're vegetarian or vegan. Obviously vegetarians/vegans are limiting their choice by not eating meat but it is for ethical reasons generally so a sacrifice they consider worth while.

Those saying the op should cater to the guests dietary requirements, a vegan meal does cater to the guest's dietary requirements unless they cannot eat anything that is not animal based. I have yet to meet anyone with such a requirement.

That said, charging for a meat option would be pretty poor form. Go with a vegan menu but don't tell people in advance. Just serve something lovely that will cater to most tastes.

Vegan food for all!

I think I'd decline the invitation tbh. Doesn't sound very hospitable only having vegan food on the menu. In fact I couldn't think of anything worse.

Lol. How ridiculous.

OP, I would definitely just do a vegan menu and anyone pathetic enough that they would refuse the invite just because they can't eat one meal without meat and dairy wouldn't be missed anyway!

For all those saying 'Just serve vegan food' - I assume you would be happy then for a meat-eating couple to 'just serve a meat based meal' making no allowance for others who may be vegetarian or vegan. If you wouldn't be happy with that, perhaps you could explain why not. I see no difference.

Both my husband and I are veggie and we had a veggie wedding. Everyone complemented us on the food. I don't think I have any friends or family that would refuse to come because of the food served because they love us and want to be with us for our wedding. I'd be questioning why I have friends who kick up such a fuss to be honest especially if they know how much it means to you.

Of course you should have a vegan menu. I'm a meat eater but this seems obvious.

If I were getting married now instead of 14 years go, I'd want it to be alcohol free. If you think a vegan menu will go down like a lead balloon, imagine how that'd be received!

@MicroManaged because the only thing I've decided on is hiring a caterer, I'm a terrible cook. My friends were all excited when I told them I was engaged, some of them brought up me being a vegan and I admitted that I would like a vegan wedding. To which some said they wouldn't come/couldn't come/it was against their beliefs/rude if I didn't serve meat but I can't bring myself to go against something I've followed all my life so I decided to post a thread asking if I should have an option where these few people could opt to have meat but they would pay for the meat portion of the meal themselves, I'd pay for everything else as I don't agree with asking people to pay for a wedding meal but I'm struggling to think up a solution. With the help of everyone on this thread, I've decided I'll only serve vegan food but have a buffet instead of a sit down meal so that everyone can find something they can eat.

I went to my vegan friend's evening do. They did a lovely flavoursome vegan buffet which was lovely. I think you should go vegan all the way. Anyone who has a problem with it. Fuck em. Have no right to be there to celebrate with you!!

I'm love meat but would happily eat vegan at your wedding. Your friends will know that you're a vegan and don't judge them for eating meat so presumably wouldn't be surprised.

I went to one of these weddings and although the food was ok, not everyone was keen on tofu (yuck) , lentils and chickpeas as mentioned above.
As it was a long day, so many people ducked out to get food.
And not everyone is going to be happy getting their kids chips the whole day.

Op your dh needs to get over himself, hes probably doing a hundred other things that's not morally ethical. I would have a vegan menu but please consider a really great variety and spread.

For all those saying 'Just serve vegan food' - I assume you would be happy then for a meat-eating couple to 'just serve a meat based meal' making no allowance for others who may be vegetarian or vegan. If you wouldn't be happy with that, perhaps you could explain why not. I see no difference

It's quite obvious. People who eat meat do not eat ONLY meat. So not serving meat is not forcing them to compromise their beliefs like not serving a vegan option would be.

For all those saying 'Just serve vegan food' - I assume you would be happy then for a meat-eating couple to 'just serve a meat based meal' making no allowance for others who may be vegetarian or vegan. If you wouldn't be happy with that, perhaps you could explain why not. I see no difference

You honestly can't see what the difference would be? Really?

Nobody NEEDS meat at a meal.
Serve nothing but vegan food - take it as an opportunity to show that it can be interesting and tasty

@SilverySurfer I've been vegan since before people knew what it was, I've been to many parties and weddings and events where all I could do was eat salad or fruit and I've always been okay with that. There are surprisingly many things vegan anyway, usually can find something suitable.

I'd just have a vegan menu.

I'm not vegan, but it's your wedding and you should have it the way you want it.

Friends of mine are vegan and teetotal for religious reasons. Their wedding was vegan and dry! I went because they're my friends and I wanted to go to their celebration. It was lovely, and no one said a bad word about the food.

I think on the invitations you should just ask about dietary requirements /allergies - e.g. it could be a bit of a task to find a 3 course vegan meal that is OK for people with coeliac disease - and leave it at that.

It's quite absurd that people get so upset about the idea of one meal without meat.

Like, I love potatoes, but I'd still go to a wedding where the menu did not include potatoes.

Opt for the vegan menu op.
These is no reason why people cannot eat vegan,they may think they don't want to but that's a different ball game.
You can ask for dietary concerns to be stated as you would at at event.
Stick to your beliefs,you will be happier for it.
And you may very well convert people!
Have a fantastic wedding,don't be swayed by other people.
It is YOUR and your husband to be's day.

Its only one meal. I think some people are vegan as a fad but if you have been a vegan all your life it obviously isnt for you

As long as the food is tasty and there is much alcohol😁

Im not vegan but have seen some great recommend meals that even i would eat (super fussy)

And not everyone is going to be happy getting their kids chips the whole day

Why would they only be eating chips all day? .

Anyone who says they won't eat a vegan meal or is 'strongly opposed to veganism' needs to get a bloody grip. Meat eaters can eat vegan meals but not the other way round - that is the difference, for the 'you must cater to everyone' crowd.

Only thing I would say is to make sure there is a 'bland' option for kiddies who may not be very adventurous with vegetables yet - a lot of the more traditional vegan options might be too complex and flavoursome compared to boring old meat!

Have you thought about a vegan junk food option? Vegan tacos, burgers, etc is more exciting and could be more palatable as it doesn't look so 'meat free'.

I'll answer that, Silvery. I'm a meat eater but I do understand that vegans and vegetarians have a massive issue with animal products. I wouldn't expect them to eat it at my home as it would cause them distress, no more than I would expect a devout Muslim to eat pork, etc. Good hosts do not cause their guests distress. I wouldn't expect a vegan couple to serve meat at their wedding as it causes me no distress to go without meat for one day. OP, you crack on and serve a vegan menu, it's really not that big a deal. Just pick a good caterer!

Ask your friends would they go to the wedding of 2 Jewish people and expect to be offered pork?

Agree - do a vegan only menu but try to make it as appealing as possible to those who won't have experienced much vegan food before - so nothing too "weird".

And don't make a thing of it on the invites! Just allow people to notify you of any food intolerances/allergies. Don't tell them it is vegan.

I love meat but was a long term vegetarian, I'd not expect meat at a wedding of 2 vegan's - these people know you - it's not randomers off the street who might be surprised!

I am a meat eater, and woulden't mind if it were a vegan wedding providing the food is nice, and not some lettuce leaves.