To only pay for vegan food at my wedding?

[ClaraBanana7]

Haven't set a date yet, but it'll be in around 2 years so it's not right around the corner or anything, but DP and I are both vegans. Neither of us have a problem with other people eating animal products, I don't think I've ever even brought up veganism unless I'm at a restaurant and need to order because I really hate confrontation and I've seen/heard so many cruel and horrible things being said to vegans. That said, we don't want to pay for the guests to be served animal products at our wedding.
Some of my friends think it's unfair and that restaurants etc are pandering to the vegan 'fad' (even though I've been vegan all my life) so I should cater to everyone's dietary requirements. I told them I was considering putting a meat option on the catering form, but that whoever picked it would have to pay for it themselves as I really don't want to give my own money towards that industry. But, my friends also think it's unfair that some people have to pay and others don't.
DP doesn't want to have an animal product option at all, and tbh I would also prefer this, but I want a way of not isolating people who can't go a meal without eating animal products.

I had some vegan kebab thing the other day. Tasted just like chicken curry pieces. I wonder how many will actually realise it’s vegan if the dishes are chosen with care lol.

Have only vegan food at your wedding, it's your day and both you and DP are vegan, but don't announce it and make a big deal out of it. If you make it a big deal, then people will give you commentary on it. Don't worry about meat options and especially don't charge people for it, just go vegan for the entire meal. Give people a couple of options for the meal, like most people do at their wedding, and let them decide what they want to do.

Go for the vegan food at your wedding
It's 2 years away and already there could be drama about the food so don't discuss it with people or make a big deal out of it or the next few years will be a nightmare.

If people ask about the menu say it's not being finalised until a few months before the wedding. And each time someone asks or gives their two bit worth , just say "yeah that's a good suggestion, I'll chat to the caterers"

DEFINATELY Don't put on choices that they have to pay for (cf territory)

But here.... my main confusion about all this is ... It's 2 years away, no date set ... And already this carry on about the menu?????
Why??????????

I can’t believe this is even a discussion point. Of course you should stick to vegan and I’m thinking of all the fabulous food you could serve. All the ottolenghi style salads maybe with some vegan Persian curries, fabulous rices with things like pomegranate, amazing grilled vegetables. I think you could really make some incredible dishes. As for children, which kids won’t eat a decent pasta with a tomato sauce or chips etc. Plenty of options. I would love that

also add that I have read of vegan weddings before where the guests had to go out and get McDonalds or something from a takeaway place because the wedding meal was inedible and not enough of it.

The only weddings where I've had to do this were not vegan ones. It was more important for the couple to have the venue and photos than feed their guests.

Just serve a vegan meal. Humans are omnivores, there is no one who cannot go without meat for one meal.

Meat eater here.

People like myself who are into being healthy (ie eating meat and dairy products) have ethical, moral and health reasons against veganism.

Then don't go! Some believe there is no 'healthy' dairy and meat products, just as some believe in Islam, or Judaism or Hinduism, do you expect them to put aside their beliefs and serve alcohol, pork or meat at their wedding because you don't believe what they do?

We are both largely vegan, strictly vegan at the time we got married.

We had a largely vegan wedding, it was a huge bbq buffet with amazing salads, miso aubergine, salty baked potatoes, delicious garlic portobello mushrooms, etc.

We didn't go for fake meats, just delicious veggie dishes. Meat eaters tend to get a bit funny about substitutes, and I'm not a big fan either.

We ultimately did decide to serve some meat/fish as part of the food, but it wasn't the main event, just there if people so wished.

After our wedding we got SO many lovely, unprompted comments about how the food was the best wedding food they'd ever had and how meat eating friends had mostly eaten veggie on the day.

There was plenty of food leftover. People had seconds and even thirds, no one was hungry. In the evening we had veggie (and beef) Cornish pasties.

Asking people to pay for their food is not the done thing and would be quite rude, but a vegan only meal could be incredible.

Two things:

1. I wouldn't tell anyone beforehand
2. I would work very closely with your caterer to ensure the food is delicious and not bland, as it sometimes can be for chefs not user to cooking vegan

Happy to share our menu if it's of interest.

MrsChollySawcutt OR

Just serve a meat/vegetarian meal. Humans are omnivores, there is no one who cannot go without being a vegan for one meal.

Funny how it is only one way.

Funny how it is only one way.

The op is PAYING. She doesn’t want her money supporting the meat and dairy industries.

just as some believe in Islam, or Judaism or Hinduism, do you expect them to put aside their beliefs and serve alcohol, pork or meat at their wedding because you don't believe what they do?

That is all well and good as long as guests are told beforehand. We have some vegans on here showing their true colours ie recommending being deceptive and not tell anyone that it is vegan. Don't people have a right to know? If you have to hide that detail, you do so out of feelings of guilt or something.

I would expect people to cater for ALL people, not just themselves. That is what I would expect. If it is a Muslim or vegan etc majority family/friends/guests, then that would of course be expected. So I think comparing Muslims and non-alcohol to vegans is reaching.

Salemblackcat what an obtuse comment. Vegans don't eat meat and there cannot eat a meat based meal. Meat eaters can eat vegetables and therefore can eat a veggie/vegan meal.

@Greekcatslovesouvlaki Thank you for showing the deceptive, sneaky and conniving nature of some vegans. If you cannot be upfront with your guests, you clearly feel guilty for a reason and are withholding that information is dishonest and manipulative. Would you prepare an alcohol dish (as someone else above brought up alcohol) ie trifle or tiramisu etc without telling Muslims or recovering alcoholic guests?

It is that sort of arrogance of being deceptive, sneaky, manipulative and dishonest that really paints all vegans with the same brush. If you are going to have a vegan-only menu, at least have the honesty and decency to tell people. That way they can make up their mind. It is wrong to hide that from people, and you only do so if you have reason to hide it.

PurpleDaisies, it doesn't matter who is paying. It is about catering to your GUESTS. You know, being a good host? Which is a concept some vegans seem not to understand.

No MrsChollySawcutt, your comment is obtuse. Vegans CAN eat meat, they choose not to (allergies excepted). So therefore a vegan CAN eat meat for one meal.

I'm a meat eater but would be very happy with a completely vegan meal.

Yet at a meat eaters wedding vegans/veggies expect their diet to be accommodated - why can’t they forgo their diet for one day (medical conditions excepted)

I think a belief such as veganism should be treated the same way as a religious requirement. I wouldn't expect a Muslim to come to a wedding and expect them to enjoy a roast pork dinner with a glass of wine.

In fact vegan food is probably the only menu you can guarantee no one has any religious objections to (as long as you don't serve beetroot).

@SalemBlackCat do you normally know what's on the menu before you go to a wedding?

In my experience you are usually asked about dietary requirements when you rsvp and then you get what you're given... Of course you would still ask people for, and cater to, their dietary requirements!

At most you might get asked between two choices if you have a fixed menu with no chance to choose what you do/don't like, in which case you could still do this.

Sorry that should have said a chance to choose, not no chance!

Anyone who thinks veganism is unhealthy is talking out of their arse. My son's vegan and was long before it became very widespread at all. He's the healthiest, fittest person I know. Perfect weight, never ill, manual job and stronger than most of his colleagues.

Have your vegan wedding, OP. Principles are worth sticking to.

SalemBlackCat have you invented yourself as a character from a SitCom?

I'm gobsmacked that there are some people on this thread, who still cannot see the problem, with expecting a vegan couple to compromise their beliefs by serving food containing meat, dairy or any animal derivatives. By serving such food, they would be paying their own money towards industries they ethically disagree with, and I wouldn't expect that of them.

Therefore there are two options, serving vegan only food, or yes asking the meat-eaters to fund their own food, so the couple do not compromise their beliefs. I don't think anyone agrees the latter is acceptable, so the only option is the former.

It is about catering to your GUESTS. You know, being a good host? Which is a concept some vegans seem not to understand.

You don’t seem to understand that means don’t have to contain meat to be nice! Before I went veggie I ate lots of crap meat based meals at weddings.!

Being a good host includes providing nice food. This is entirely possible without serving any animal based products.

I am baffled by people saying that is deceptive to not mention that then will be vegan.

I genuinely don't understand why that is an issue. It's not like you are hiding something in there that people might not want to eat. It is not being deceptive.

Dis you send a list of all the foods committed from your wedding menu, so if you served chicken dos you specify that your menu didn't contain red meat?

You only have to tell people what is IN your food, not the many many things that are not in your food.