Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To only pay for vegan food at my wedding?

999 replies

ClaraBanana7 · 21/09/2018 14:52

Haven't set a date yet, but it'll be in around 2 years so it's not right around the corner or anything, but DP and I are both vegans. Neither of us have a problem with other people eating animal products, I don't think I've ever even brought up veganism unless I'm at a restaurant and need to order because I really hate confrontation and I've seen/heard so many cruel and horrible things being said to vegans. That said, we don't want to pay for the guests to be served animal products at our wedding.
Some of my friends think it's unfair and that restaurants etc are pandering to the vegan 'fad' (even though I've been vegan all my life) so I should cater to everyone's dietary requirements. I told them I was considering putting a meat option on the catering form, but that whoever picked it would have to pay for it themselves as I really don't want to give my own money towards that industry. But, my friends also think it's unfair that some people have to pay and others don't.
DP doesn't want to have an animal product option at all, and tbh I would also prefer this, but I want a way of not isolating people who can't go a meal without eating animal products.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Bluntness100 · 21/09/2018 21:32

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest, I'm not sure I'd notice, unless something bizarre was on the invite asking me to pay for a meat dish.

All I can assume is the reason your friends are being a bit mean about it is becayse you expect them to cater to you, but won't return the favour.

Sharkwithknees · 21/09/2018 21:34

I wouldn't mind at all, and I generally eat meat at most meals. I have a friend who's vegan and if we're nearing for tea we'll normally go to a lively vegan restaurant and we all love it! It's your wedding, OP. It's not like you're serving shit on a plate, do it Grin

SausageSimon · 21/09/2018 21:37

I'd just serve a vegan menu personally, don't pay for something you don't agree with. If some of the guests don't like it then (to be quite blunt) tough shit.

I wouldn't even mention it to anyone and I wouldn't put the word vegan on the menu, just put on there what you're having and leave it at that Smile

Anyone who loves you won't care, they'll just be happy to be celebrating with you

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 21/09/2018 21:40

I'd just serve a vegan meal, you can't tell people they have to pay! However, I would want to know what was being served first as there are certain things I can't eat or can only have in moderation, for example mushrooms, peppers and onions. If there was a meat option I'd know I'd be able to eat something but I'd be worried if it was vegan.

BuntyII · 21/09/2018 21:48

Agree I wouldn't mention it to anyone just let them turn up on the day and try the food. If they don't like it who cares, the food at weddings is usually shocking anyway.

Singletomingle · 21/09/2018 21:49

If you're vegan why serve anything else its your wedding. If you have friends with allergies catering for them may be tricky for example someone with a nut allergy will probably be allergic to beans. A soy allergy may also prove tricky. Are you also going to limit drinks?

ThanosSavedMe · 21/09/2018 21:58

I’m a carnivore, don’t eat veg at all. If you were my friend and you invited me to your wedding I would happily accept the invite and expect a vegan menu. It’s one day, I can survive! I would also make sure I had plenty of snacks for me to eat throughout the day but secretly obviously!

Aridane · 21/09/2018 21:59

Lol at the poster saying the majority of,the guests probably won’t turn up beaus day it’s a vegan meal

Aridane · 21/09/2018 22:00

Because, not beaus day!

mehhh · 21/09/2018 22:00

It's your wedding, your day... completely agree with previous posters that just because someone eats meat doesn't mean they can't eat plant based... I would just make sure you pick tasty filling dishes... I would definitely be prepared for some whinging, although I'd hope people would understand enough to not make them decline the invitation! x

Mummyshark2018 · 21/09/2018 22:07

It's only one meal out of their lives- serve amazing vegan meals. I am a meat eater though very rarely. When I go to weddings I often order veg option as I don't like the meat option (e.g lamb 😳). Make sure there is lots of chips :-)

Gemini69 · 21/09/2018 22:16

it's probably worth pointing out that none of OP's potential guests have questioned the Menu because the Wedding is 2 years away and hasn't even been planned yet.... so this is all conjecture .. right ? Hmm

Ninjawannabee · 21/09/2018 22:59

People! We're over 600 posts and the same the same three or four points are just being made over and over and over again! It's driving me mad!
Please stop posting. Nothing new has been said in about 28 pages

(for the record I'm an omnivore who would love a vegan buffet at a wedding. I recommend some seitan deep fried chicken fakery, a pretty good imitation and just dough really so not to processed. Not one for gluten avoiders though. Enjoy your wedding in two years!)

PlantsArePeopleToo · 21/09/2018 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sweetkitty · 21/09/2018 23:10

No not at all

Have your amazing vegan wedding

makeupmaven · 21/09/2018 23:14

A vegan menu, but please choose a restaurant well-practised in vegan food and recipes! I've been to two vegan weddings and the food was terrible at both.

WhateverHappenedToTheHeatwave · 21/09/2018 23:18

Yanbu. I would always recommend buffet or sharing platters though for wedding food, vegan vegetarian or meat eating. It means there's usually something everyone can eat.

I would echo being non committal and just doing what you chose. I found some things -weddings, babies, new homes- are hot topics for everyone to give their opinion too and sometimes the opinion is unwanted.

inquiquotiokixul · 21/09/2018 23:18

Stick with your principles and keep the wedding catering fully vegan. But choose a venue in a town/city centre and anyone who seriously can't cope with a meat-free meal can always pop out for a quick macdonalds

MissHavershamssis · 21/09/2018 23:20

To charge guests for a wedding meal is beyond cringy - just don't. And absolutely just serve the vegan option - it always amazes me how much some people obsess about food at a wedding - eat what you're given and be grateful! It's one meal - people really aren't going to throw a hissy at there being no meat - well, rational people that is. Anyone who does complain frankly wouldn't be welcome - a wedding is not about the food - it's about celebrating your marriage with friends and family - if some are so disgruntled at vegan grab a kebab on the way home Hmm

WhateverHappenedToTheHeatwave · 21/09/2018 23:24

Though i dont think you should charge for a meat option, stay vegan.

BuntyII · 21/09/2018 23:34

@Ninjawannabee what's it got to do with you Hmm

Movingtobucks · 21/09/2018 23:39

I went to a wedding last year with the most delicious vegan curry for the wedding breakfast. Everyone said how amazing it was.

Bunchofdaffodils · 22/09/2018 00:02

If you don’t like curry and go to an Indian wedding, you’d probably expect to be a bit hungry, but hopefully enjoy the day. You wouldn’t expect them to put on a roast for the ones who don’t like Indian food... would you???

abacucat · 22/09/2018 00:05

Vegan curries are easy to make delicious. They are basically the same as meat curries, minus the meat. Most vegan food is not like that.

abacucat · 22/09/2018 00:07

And people care about food at weddings, because it tends to be a long day, lots of waiting around for photos, etc. And no choice about food. Its not the same as just going out for 1 meal. It is the whole day. So pretty miserable if there was nothing you could eat.

Swipe left for the next trending thread