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Original poster

To only pay for vegan food at my wedding?

999 replies

ClaraBanana7 · 21/09/2018 14:52

Haven't set a date yet, but it'll be in around 2 years so it's not right around the corner or anything, but DP and I are both vegans. Neither of us have a problem with other people eating animal products, I don't think I've ever even brought up veganism unless I'm at a restaurant and need to order because I really hate confrontation and I've seen/heard so many cruel and horrible things being said to vegans. That said, we don't want to pay for the guests to be served animal products at our wedding.
Some of my friends think it's unfair and that restaurants etc are pandering to the vegan 'fad' (even though I've been vegan all my life) so I should cater to everyone's dietary requirements. I told them I was considering putting a meat option on the catering form, but that whoever picked it would have to pay for it themselves as I really don't want to give my own money towards that industry. But, my friends also think it's unfair that some people have to pay and others don't.
DP doesn't want to have an animal product option at all, and tbh I would also prefer this, but I want a way of not isolating people who can't go a meal without eating animal products.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
HesterMacaulay · 21/09/2018 19:29

Surely swellers you must understand the difference?
It's not about preference in cuisine it's a principled objection to an industry that most vegans would not want to directly support by buying meat or dairy products.

WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree · 21/09/2018 19:29

@icannotthinkofauser sorry don't get your point? (the bit in bold is a quote)
Will a meat-eater suffer by having one meal without meat?

Ixnayonthehombre · 21/09/2018 19:30

Only vegan choices. I'm not vegan but I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.

SweatyFretty · 21/09/2018 19:30

I'd do a vegan-only menu but make sure guests had lots of options.

Susikettu · 21/09/2018 19:30

My husband and I are both vegetarian. We only had vegetarian food at our wedding. People complained beforehand. After same people said it was some of the best wedding catering they'd ever had. Why would you serve something you font eat yourself?

AssignedNorthernAtBirth · 21/09/2018 19:31

Meat eaters voluntarily eat vegan all the time.

Not sure that's really true. Individual foods yes, but fully vegan meals less often.

I'm an omnivore and I've no objection to vegan foods. I also consume individually vegan things, so for example the pear I've just had is vegan. I must also eat all kinds of individual products that are vegan all the time without realising, like somebody mentioning the vegan hot chocolates upthread. Actually vegan meals though, not that often. And I'm not a steak for breakfast lunch and dinner type either, but nearly all the times I eat vegan is when I'm doing it specifically. Even when I make daal or a veg curry I tend to put a teaspoon of ghee in there. Non-vegans probably dab a bit of butter on their jacket spud and beans, a few sprinkles of cheese on a veggie pasta dish, that type of thing.

I guess I'd probably feature falafel and hummus as I reckon that's maybe the commonest vegan meal omnivores will be used to? Or a bean chilli. I don't know if those would be considered weddingy!

Actually fuck it, I think I'd just have a vegan curry banquet...

PlatypusPie · 21/09/2018 19:31

Oatly ‘Barista’ milk - doesn’t separate in hot tea/coffee And tastes quite creamy. Not the other versions that’s still taste like chalk water .

LydiaLunch7 · 21/09/2018 19:32

I wonder if all these people who believe they should have some sort of say in what food that is served at somebody else's wedding are the same ones constantly moaning about how "entitled" kids are these days.

BareGrylls · 21/09/2018 19:32

You haven't set a date but it will be at least two years away and you are planning the food already!
I beg you not to bore talk to colleagues and friends about this for two years!

AhNowTed · 21/09/2018 19:33

OP

Just serve a vegan menu. No one will mind.

What would be really off is to offer a different choice that wedding guests have to pay for.

That is ridiculous and smells of meanness, and setting yourself apart from non-vegans. Which is not your intention.

Don't tell anyone in advance either.

Just offer a vegan menu - it's totally fine.

And I'm a meat eater.

huggybear · 21/09/2018 19:34

No I'm not from a 1970s sitcom. I wasn't even born then.

I don't think I've eaten a vegan meal ever though... It's not that unusual.

EK36 · 21/09/2018 19:37

Awesome idea. Yes have a vegan only menu. I am a meat eater, but I would love this.

CantThinkOfNameOops · 21/09/2018 19:38

I'm not vegan. not even vegetarian but if rather eat a vegan meal than have to pay for my meal at a wedding. meat ain't that amazing. anyway, if your friends and family know you're both vegan then they shouldn't have a problem with a vegan menu and will probably be a lot more ok with it than you think

Brambleboo · 21/09/2018 19:41

I think it would be incredibly rude of you to expect people to pay for their own meal at your wedding reception and I also think it would be wrong to force a vegan menu on everyone. If you aren't prepared to include a meat option, then maybe you should rethink your reception plans.

PurpleDaisies · 21/09/2018 19:41

She did rethink.

Pages and pages ago.

HesterMacaulay · 21/09/2018 19:42

@huggybear If you've never eaten a vegan meal how do you have such strong opinions?
Why do you refer to "normal" food and say a vegan menu sounds awful?
That's just incredibly closed minded.

ashtrayheart · 21/09/2018 19:42

As a meat eater I am quite partial to a vegan meal, have eaten in vegan restaurants and it was lovely. If people can't survive without meat for one meal they are ridiculous.
I wouldn't offer a paying option though, keep it simple I say.

Uggywuggy · 21/09/2018 19:42

I’m a meat eater and went to a vegan wedding, no issues!! Beautiful food and the cake was delicious!! It’s your day, do what’s right for you Smile

Screaminginsidemeagain · 21/09/2018 19:42

Only vegan choices. It’s your wedding.

Not a vegan either but wouldn’t think it was off if I went to a vegans wedding and they didn’t have a meat option

Welshmaiden85 · 21/09/2018 19:43

On the tea/coffee front you could serve neither and just have loads of delicious fruit & herbal tea. If you made it look really exciting with lots of options people won’t even think about the lack of milk.

user1510568216 · 21/09/2018 19:44

My best friend is vegan. I eat lots of meat, dairy etc. When we get together we eat the same food. Your overthinking this. You will never please everyone regardless. Stick with vegan food & stop worrying about it. If my friend got married I would expect to eat vegan. I'm sure your guests will feel the same.

C0untDucku1a · 21/09/2018 19:44

Id also do a vegan only menu.

I also find it really odd some people couldnt cope with one day without meat.

PurpleDaisies · 21/09/2018 19:44

On the tea/coffee front you could serve neither and just have loads of delicious fruit & herbal tea.

Fruit and herbal tea is a bad substitute for proper tea and coffee. It’ll make people think of the lack of the usual. More alcoholic drinks/posh soft drinks might be better.

huggybear · 21/09/2018 19:45

I'm not closed minded, it's just never been a thing. Perhaps if you give some examples of tasty vegan meals that wouldn't be too scary for a meat eater. All I can think of is an adapted risotto?!

mumsastudent · 21/09/2018 19:45

thinks ….vegetable thali ….