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Original poster

To only pay for vegan food at my wedding?

999 replies

ClaraBanana7 · 21/09/2018 14:52

Haven't set a date yet, but it'll be in around 2 years so it's not right around the corner or anything, but DP and I are both vegans. Neither of us have a problem with other people eating animal products, I don't think I've ever even brought up veganism unless I'm at a restaurant and need to order because I really hate confrontation and I've seen/heard so many cruel and horrible things being said to vegans. That said, we don't want to pay for the guests to be served animal products at our wedding.
Some of my friends think it's unfair and that restaurants etc are pandering to the vegan 'fad' (even though I've been vegan all my life) so I should cater to everyone's dietary requirements. I told them I was considering putting a meat option on the catering form, but that whoever picked it would have to pay for it themselves as I really don't want to give my own money towards that industry. But, my friends also think it's unfair that some people have to pay and others don't.
DP doesn't want to have an animal product option at all, and tbh I would also prefer this, but I want a way of not isolating people who can't go a meal without eating animal products.

OP posts:
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LydiaLunch7 · 21/09/2018 17:25

People will judge your wedding on three things and three things only

You're not at a wedding to judge anything. Get over yourself.

DoYouLikeBasghetti · 21/09/2018 17:25

If you just serve tasty vegan food and don't mention that it's vegan nobody will even notice. (I do this with my dad all the time). Grin

PatriciaHolm · 21/09/2018 17:25
  • Have you ever had ducking tea with no milk Vegan ice cream 🤮*

I always drink my tea black ☕️
Ben and Jerry's chunky monkey vegan is lovely.

But you know, i would imagine, based on this thread, the chances of OP having a loved one as closed minded and prejudiced as you are small fortunately.

Lamona · 21/09/2018 17:25

Wow. People are really ridiculous about one meal! I bet everyone at some point has eaten an accidental vegan meal and not really thought about it. Its not just lentils and beans FFS. More than half of what you eat anyway is probably vegan...

Make it really spectacular vegan food. You might get some converts Wink

disclaimer i eat meat. Just not 24hr a day

Sorbet anyone?

butterybean · 21/09/2018 17:26

The alpro barista version of almond milk is incredible when put in a milk heater/frother and makes a truly amazing latte. So much tastier than cow.

OP look at festivals like Shambala - incredible vegan caterers there that could do you gorgeous vegan street food that is so delicious most won't notice the lack of animal.

Meat and dairy products are expensive so I'm thinking you'll be able to go all out and do something really special on the plant based spectrum.
Good luck - I wish I was going Smile

1981fishgut · 21/09/2018 17:26

ClaraBanana7 It’s grim my bil dated some bloody girl who was vegan for 3 years

We had to endure stuffed dates and all sorts couldn’t even have a decking cup of tea

It was always a hassle when she came to ours as we would have to buy in vegan crap specially

And it was a huge relief when she was binned because no one was looking forward to the faff of Christmas

Original poster
ClaraBanana7 · 21/09/2018 17:26

@1981fishgut such a shame no one will come just for the ceremony and the atmosphere, but I'll try and make the music amazing as I doubt I'll be able to afford an open bar.

Unfortunately, I don't compromise on my beliefs, just as many religious people won't compromise on their beliefs.

OP posts:
Sethis · 21/09/2018 17:27

When I throw a party I like to make sure I cover all the bases.

Not due to the "Rights" or the "Wrongs" of meat/veggie/vegan but simply because it makes me happy when everyone else is happy. If there's something for everyone then everyone is having an equally good meal, regardless of their dietary choices or allergies, right?

Statistically, 90% of my friends are omnivores, I know a handful of veggies and one or two vegans, which seems to be approximately representative of the general population. I prepare meals accordingly. Of course if the guests coming to the party wildly diverge from that ratio, with a much higher percentage of veggies and vegans, I'll again adjust my menu accordingly. But I wouldn't choose not to serve something on the basis that I don't like it. I'm not a fan of mushrooms but it doesn't mean I exclude them from my buffet table, because I know not everyone has the same opinion, and in fact some people frickking love mushrooms and I want them to be able to enjoy some. Although I might not cook them all that well. Don't have much practice.

Itsnotme123 · 21/09/2018 17:27

You need to cater for everyone. You cannot ask people to pay for their own food, it’s so wrong. Either provide options as Ellis said or if you feel that against meat, then provide vegan only.

LydiaLunch7 · 21/09/2018 17:27

I wouldn't want anyone at my wedding who puts milk in coffee. Heathens.

1981fishgut · 21/09/2018 17:28

butterybean

The alpro barista version of almond milk is incredible when put in a milk heater/frother and makes a truly amazing latte. So much tastier than cow.

is really really not my daughter is lactose intolerant it’s bloody yuck 🤢 and I would actually rather not have something than have the thing with soya in and don’t get me started on oat milk 🤮🤮

ForTheLoveOfDoughnuts · 21/09/2018 17:29

@ClaraBanana7 how about take this opportunity to put on an awesome vegan feast? I eat meat, but would love the opportunity to try a vegan wedding breakfast.
You might open some eyes for some people

1981fishgut · 21/09/2018 17:29

The vegan yuk tastes less good and is more expensive

Ha vegan cheese why did they even bother

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 21/09/2018 17:30

I couldn't think of anything worse than having someone like you at my wedding

Wouldn't be an issue as I wouldn't be there 🤗

Original poster
ClaraBanana7 · 21/09/2018 17:31

@1981fishgut I think you've had a bad experience with vegans mainly due to ignorance (no offense, this is aimed at the vegan girlfriend as much as your family) and if you open your mind you might find some really delicious vegan friendly food out there. Vegan food is really simple and not a hassle to make at all, the substitutes that can be bought at supermarkets are much more of an effort.

OP posts:
ArialAnna · 21/09/2018 17:32

Don't have meat options that guests have to pay for - that would be odd. But it's perfectly reasonable to only serve vegan food. But please serve something tasty, using recipes that use naturally vegan ingredients, like a variety of vegetable curries with nuts etc, rather than dishes using weird vegan diary and meat substitute ingredients. If you are used to the real deal, vegan cheese (for example) tastes pretty disappointing.

Lamona · 21/09/2018 17:32

I definitely did exclude the food i didn't want to eat from my wedding... there were no mushrooms, no liver, no bacon... i am incredibly selfish in that i only provided delicious food options that both me and OH love too. Weird.
And yeah. I would just not invite anyone who plans to 'judge' your wedding. Unless it's X factor themed.

GinisLife · 21/09/2018 17:33

Why would you even make a big deal out of it ? You're vegan, you choose a lovely vegan menu and you send your invites out. You don't mention it to anyone and I bet hardly anyone notices there's no meat. If you make a big song and dance out of it loads will refuse to come because they imagine tofu and lentils, knitted socks and weirdness.

1981fishgut · 21/09/2018 17:33

ForTheLoveOfDoughnuts

She really won’t half of the stuff won’t get eaten as the guests won’t be familiar with it and the children won’t go near it

Weddings are not the place to test shit out

You stick to what you know the majory will like

VerbenaGirl · 21/09/2018 17:33

Serve vegan for all (I say that as a meat eater, but i’d never expect a vegan to pay for or serve me non-vegan food. Don’t even include the option of meat. Your wedding, your rules!

abacucat · 21/09/2018 17:34

I regularly make vegan meals. But tea with soya milk is pretty rank. So tea/coffee may be left undrunk.
Also be aware that doing a menu for the range of diverse people, and numbers catered for at a wedding, is pretty tough. Which is why the usual options are safe things like chicken in a white wine sauce.
So I wouldn't choose unusual vegan meals. But safer things.

Branleuse · 21/09/2018 17:34

Do a vegan menu and if people dont like it, they can leave it. Ive been at several weddings where i didnt like the food.No big deal even if it does happen. Id just make sure it was a REALLY good vegan menu and you might even open a few peoples minds

FullOfJellyBeans · 21/09/2018 17:34

1981fishgut

Really? How bad could it be to have a vegan meal every so often and cater to one vegan person (or ask them to bring something suitable).

Honestly I really can't imagine anyone so unbelievable self absorbed that they can't get through one wedding ceremony without eating meat (and I love meat).

GinIsIn · 21/09/2018 17:35

You won’t look like you have principles, you will just look like you are cheap. Serve vegan food to everyone if you want to, but you can’t penalise some of your friends and family by charging them for their meal simply because they don’t share your beliefs!

1981fishgut · 21/09/2018 17:35

Nope even the vegan hot choc I am afraid is 🤮