To only pay for vegan food at my wedding?

[ClaraBanana7]

Haven't set a date yet, but it'll be in around 2 years so it's not right around the corner or anything, but DP and I are both vegans. Neither of us have a problem with other people eating animal products, I don't think I've ever even brought up veganism unless I'm at a restaurant and need to order because I really hate confrontation and I've seen/heard so many cruel and horrible things being said to vegans. That said, we don't want to pay for the guests to be served animal products at our wedding.
Some of my friends think it's unfair and that restaurants etc are pandering to the vegan 'fad' (even though I've been vegan all my life) so I should cater to everyone's dietary requirements. I told them I was considering putting a meat option on the catering form, but that whoever picked it would have to pay for it themselves as I really don't want to give my own money towards that industry. But, my friends also think it's unfair that some people have to pay and others don't.
DP doesn't want to have an animal product option at all, and tbh I would also prefer this, but I want a way of not isolating people who can't go a meal without eating animal products.

Committed meat eater here which I eat most days. I'd find an all-vegan meal really interesting and different to the usual wedding food. Go for it. Just make it clear on the invites that it will be all vegan but that you promise it'll be as incredible as you can make it. It would make me more likely to attend to be honest. If invited guests object, they're not true friends so ditch.

Do not make it about money, though.

For the love of god can you not do a vegetarian menu just to compromise

If you don’t people will talk about how hungry they were and how awful the food was

I would imagine you would not expect to pay for your own dinner if somone was a meat eater we had no veggie options at our wedding eveyone had chicken barr one person who only eats fish and my nephew who has allergies to nuts

SissySpacek, that menu sounds absolutely delicious. I bet most people would enjoy the food and not even realise it is all vegan.

I'd love to see those avid meat eaters sitting down at a reception, to be faced with a dish of dog or horse meat and see how happy they are then.

Good point Hester

You mak think being vegan is awsome but for most meat eaters to know your going to spend the day somewhere spend out loads of money and not get a decent feed will mean most will not be looking forward to your wedding eggless cakes taste dreadful and to not even be able to get a cup of tea in the evening with milk will be grim

DH and I are both vegetarian, and had several vegan guests at our wedding, so we had only vegetarian and vegan food at our wedding. We have no problem being around people eating meat, but we weren't going to pay for it. There were a handful of complaints, but even the complainers cleaned their plates, and a couple of them even complimented the food to us!

Just have vegan food, if I attended a wedding where both bride and groom were vegan, I wouldn't expect them to serve meat.

@mononoaware1907 for the record no one is paying to attend the wedding at all. I am having a vegan caterer but I didn't want my friends who refuse to have a meal without meat in it to not have an option. Looking at the responses in the thread, I've decided on removing the option of animal products completely and just having a vegan buffet.

What would you say to a bride who was asked to provide vegan meals for some of her guests and decided to charge them for it because it was off the set-menu, OP? That's the same answer you should give yourself. You invite people to your wedding,you pay for the food. If it's your choice to provide only vegan food then do that. Most people won't mind and those who do in the main won't be rude enough to say so to your face.

@Fishgut

You clearly haven’t got a clue about food.

*For the love of god can you not do a vegetarian menu just to compromise

If you don’t people will talk about how hungry they were and how awful the food was*

Why should she? She has serious objections to the dairy industry. and why is the food automatically awful and unsubstantial because it's vegan? Some people live in very narrow worlds.

It's your wedding, OP. Your choice.

You shouldn’t have to compromise on your own ethics - that’s not “bridezilla” at all OP & I say that as a meat-eater. Just serve up a really good vegan meal (at your expense), no meat option available. It’s one meal in your guests’ lives, that’s all! If you didn’t mention it in the invite I daresay many wouldn’t even notice

I am a meat eater (try and buy rare breed local never factory farmed etc for environmental reasons) and really really enjoy it

I also like veggie food and vegan food. If I was going to your wedding I really wouldn't expect meat or dairy.

To be honest myself and a lot of people I know would prefer vegan over the usual dried up chicken breast in a mushroom sauce type thing you seem to get at a lot of weddings (sorry if this upsets anyone just not my personal taste)

I don't know anyone that needs to eat meat at every meal.

Go for whatever you like - its your celebration and will make it more unique to you and memorable

1981fishgut, why on earth would people mosn about the food and complain they wete hungry? Do you even know what vegan food is? Look at the menu posted by SissySpacek and tell me there is nothing on there you would eat. It all sounds absolutely delicious and pretty filling too.

There are some really strange posters on this thread

My friends were all excited when I told them I was engaged, some of them brought up me being a vegan

Really? I can’t even imagine how that conversation goes, as a response to you being engaged.

“Hey I’m engaged”

“Congratulations, so what will this mean, given that you’re vegan?”

You have odd friends. Or you’re one of those vegans that is constantly droning on about it.

Given that you’re planning the meal before you’ve even set the date, and it’s not for at least 2 years I’m gonna take a punt on it being the latter.

You’re doing the right thing OP. I hope you have a lovely time.

I eat meat/fish cheese at pretty much every meal. But if I was invited to your wedding I'd expect you to choose the food you want to serve. I'd be interested to try really good vegan food, and if I didn't like it that would be my problem not yours.
You should have the wedding you choose and certainly not complicate things by having separate menus.

Some of these posters saying they wouldn't eat a non-meat meal are barking! Definitely serve a fully vegan menu - just don't make a big deal of it. Catering for allergies, obviously.
At most weddings you don't get much choice anyway and if you don't like it, you just smile and enjoy the day and eat extra bread!
I'm an omnivore and would be more than happy with a vegan menu and probably wouldn't even notice. My friend's (vegan) 50th was amazing and everyone has plenty of food - no tofu or chickpeas in sight. People only get annoyed with vegans who go on about it all the time, IMO.

YANBU as long as there’s food that everyone can eat. Vegan food often contains a lot of gluten or nuts to replace the meat.

@1981fishgut unfortunately I can't, it's something dp won't compromise on and I would hate for him to be unhappy, we're doing all the planning together so it's as much his decision as mine.

I am a meat eater but have survived vegan and vegetarian wedding meals. It's just one day and it's your wedding. Provide what you want but don't ask people to pay.

Yes, just offer the vegan menu. If they decide to skip off to the kebab shop afterwards then that's their call. I can't imagine not attending my friend's wedding simply because they weren't serving meat, that seems bonkers.

I eat meat and would be absolutely delighted with a vegan meal being served at a wedding.

You don't need to offer a meat dish, you absolutely shouldn't ever dream of charging for it and if possible, don't make it into a crusade or an issue.

Being completely honest, if I knew a wedding was completely vegan I either wouldn’t go, or I would go and not eat.

I have serious allergies to nuts, some seeds and legumes, even things like nutmeg. I’ve never once seen a vegan meal in a restaurant or at an event that I would be able to eat since these things are pretty much staples of vegan food. And even if the dish I’m given is free of those things, the chances of cross contamination is so much higher if large quantities of those things are being prepared for everyone else.

So if it was someone I vaguely knew, I’d skip it. If it was family or someone close, I’d attend and be hungry I guess!

I am a meat eater.

I would have no problem at all being served a vegan meal at your wedding.

I would find it quite offensive if you offered a meat option but judged me so harshly for taking that option that you'll bill me for the meal.

If you really don't mind other people eating meat, don't charge them for eating meat. Serve them vegan, serve them meat, whatever you're comfortable with buying, but don't charge them for making the choice to eat meat!

You mak think being vegan is awsome but for most meat eaters to know your going to spend the day somewhere spend out loads of money and not get a decent feed will mean most will not be looking forward to your wedding eggless cakes taste dreadful and to not even be able to get a cup of tea in the evening with milk will be grim

'A decent feed'? That sounds attractive.

I would genuinely try to expand your culinary horizons a bit.