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Original poster

Things you should never say in front of childless women

842 replies

Clothrabbit · 21/09/2018 10:51

Just following on from another thread I started, what things have childless women on here had said to or in front of them, or read celebs spouting in public, that really hurt or upset them.

For me:

You don't know what real responsibility is until you have a child.
Having a child makes you less selfish.

OP posts:
LostInShoebiz · 21/09/2018 16:56

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RoseGoldEagle · 21/09/2018 16:56

When I was in my 20s I did a job where I was on call every third night and every other weekend, on top of full time hours, the job was stressful with barely any breaks and I was exhausted. I had the ‘haha wait til you have children then you’ll REALLY know what being tired is!’ and ‘one in three- ha! When you’re a parent you’re on call 24/7!’ comments more than once. It used to infuriate me, and that was before I even wanted children. I don’t see how a couple of posters don’t get how that could be insulting. If they’d have said ‘oh sorry you’re so tired it sounds tough, I’m really tired too because baby X has been keeping me up at night’, that would have been fine, but the pitying ‘ah bless you complaining about tiredness, you have no idea what tiredness is!’ was so annoying and patronising. I would also like to point out that having long ago left that job, and as a parent now (finally) I have still never been as tired as I was in that job, parenthood is simple compared to that (and that was with a baby that woke every few hours for the best part of a year)

Squirrelblanket · 21/09/2018 17:00

Saying childless instead of childfree, or simply 'women with no children' is right up there for me in the annoyances stakes. I'm not 'less' anything. Hmm

blueyacht · 21/09/2018 17:09

‘Lonely barren old woman’ stung a bit

Celestia26 · 21/09/2018 17:10

Our local community festival is called 'The xtown Family Festival'. That really bugs me. Surely it should be a 'community festival

Clothrabbit an odd thing to be upset about. The term family applies to all members, not just children. Mums, Dads, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunties, uncles.....

If you took your mum to that festival you would be taking a 'family' member.

furandchandeliers · 21/09/2018 17:20

I wouldn't say it to someone but I don't believe you know real love until you have your own kids.

Saying that there's more to life than loveSmile I can imagine it's brilliant being blue to focus on yourself, your career, friends, partners, but to say that the above isn't true is just denial.

PurpleDaisies · 21/09/2018 17:23

It is a universal rule that a thread on here about the shitty things that people say to childless and childfree women will inevitably turn into an illustration of people doing exactly that

This is spot on. It’s rubbish.

PurpleDaisies · 21/09/2018 17:24

I wouldn't say it to someone but I don't believe you know real love until you have your own kids.

So you’re capable of understanding how I feel about my husband?

PurpleDaisies · 21/09/2018 17:25

What really pisses me off is posters that feel entitled to tell other posters how they feel or would feel under different circumstances.

furandchandeliers · 21/09/2018 17:27

I don't believe you can feel the same away about an adult man you as you would someone you have grown inside you, given birth to, Fed from your body and then raised and spent all your time with.

PurpleDaisies · 21/09/2018 17:30

You are qualified to tell me about my own feelings? You realise what a totally arrogant position that is to take?

TeaStory · 21/09/2018 17:30

I wouldn't say it to someone but I don't believe you know real love until you have your own kids.

And yet... you just fucking said it.

Peanutss · 21/09/2018 17:31

@furandchandeliers no sorry, this is another load of shit.

The love I my have for my partner is real as is the love I have for my mum and dad or grandparents etc...

You experience a different type of love for your children yes but more real no.

PurpleDaisies · 21/09/2018 17:32

So by that logic, adoptive parents don’t love their children as much as ones who gave birth to them. Dads don’t love kids as much as mums because they didn’t carry them.

Peanutss · 21/09/2018 17:33

@TeaStory I'm beginning to think some posters are just coming here to gloat that they have children whereas other posters don't.

Bloody patronising.

furandchandeliers · 21/09/2018 17:34

I wouldn't say it in real life to someone's face who hadn't asked my opinion.Hmmffs didn't realise I had to be so specific I thought it was obvious.

The whole point of an anonymous forum is so that people can say what they really feel without worrying about offending anyone.

Peanutss · 21/09/2018 17:35

I can imagine it's brilliant being blue to focus on yourself, your career, friends, partners, but to say that the above isn't true is just denial

Just piss off.

TammySwanson · 21/09/2018 17:36

Oh look, another one.

I feel sorry for people who can only experience real love if they've had children (well, I would do if I believed them anyway). What does that say about their previous life, or how they'll feel if they lose them or they go NC?

Peanutss · 21/09/2018 17:36

Nobody asked your opinion. The OP was asking what people found offensive that people say to childess people. And you just demonstrated it.

Peanutss · 21/09/2018 17:37

Sorry actually people who don't have children**

I note someone above made a very interesting comment about saying childless

furandchandeliers · 21/09/2018 17:38

Ok let me put it another way, I personally couldn't love anyone that I haven't given birth to. Not as much as I love my kids.

I love my Dh but I love my kids more, and I couldn't love anyone else kids as much as I love my own. I'd die for them. I wouldn't do that for anyone else.

However if others feel that could then that's good for them but i find it hard to believe.

furandchandeliers · 21/09/2018 17:38

Peanuts ooh touchy Smile

stevie69 · 21/09/2018 17:40

I don't believe you can feel the same away about an adult man you as you would someone you have grown inside you, given birth to, Fed from your body and then raised and spent all your time with.

Really? I'm pretty sure that I probably can Hmm

Peanutss · 21/09/2018 17:41

Yes I am touchy when people tell me I don't know what real love is after just going through my third miscarriage this year because I don't have kids.

I do. You know a different kind, great.

It's patronising and careless and a prime example of what this thread is fucking talking about.

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 21/09/2018 17:42

I was discussing the Jo Cox murder with a friend once who said that it was much more tragic in view of the fact that she was a mother, and that it wouldn't have mattered so much if she hadn't left two young children behind

Yes, this. Like when someone dies it's always made a point of if they were a parent, like it wouldn't be so tragic if they weren't.

I am so sick and tired of entitled, selfish bastard parents (disclaimer - not all are like this) who think that because I don't have children, I don't matter.

My favourite ever comment however was from someone who said that of course i worked on a Saturday as what else would I do with my time.

Err, I work on a Saturday because I'm a sports physio for various rugby teams and most matches are on....a Saturday duh.

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