Things you should never say in front of childless women

[Clothrabbit]

Just following on from another thread I started, what things have childless women on here had said to or in front of them, or read celebs spouting in public, that really hurt or upset them.

For me:

You don't know what real responsibility is until you have a child.
Having a child makes you less selfish.

In what way Greendale.

SongsWithoutWords

I know it was a long time ago too when helpmefindaholiday talked about the love that a parent has for a child which she described as anxious love. I also hear that women without children hate when mothers say ‘you don’t know real love until you have a child.

I have reflected on parental love and what it is like for me. I believe true love is not what parents feel for their children but how small children feel about their parents.

A baby will look at their mother like they have hung the moon. If you ask a small child who the most funny, smartest, prettiest person is, most children will say their mommy.
I work in children services and most children still want the best for their mom despite the horrible abuse they have experienced. Children can love so unconditionally and i think we can learn a lot from them.

@Leobynature that's great. So why have you posted that on this thread, which is about things said to childless women?

I was watching this thread and responding to what parental love and commented on the relationship between a child and parent which was discussed previously. I was thinking about that type of love.

🤔 I had no idea I wasn’t allowed to post and only your opinions are worthy.

Well it's a pretty fucking insensitive thing to say, basically saying that "the most "true love" you can experience is that from the child you will NEVER HAVE".

Astounding lack of tact.

I had no idea I wasn’t allowed to post and only your opinions are worthy.

I didn't say you couldn't post and I didn't say your opinions weren't worthy. I asked you to Look at the name of the thread and look where it was posted.

If you still think you weren't being insensitive then maybe you are not as enlightened about love and relationships as you think you are.

Hmm my intention wasn’t to me insensitive rather just sharing opinions on different types of love and it doesn’t mean I am right. I never basically said that.

I am definitely still learning about love and relationships. I hope I never stop learning about that.

Chatting to a friend of a friend at a party, they asked if I had any kids, I say no and ask them the same (hopeful deflection) but it came back to me so I explained my stance and even after the "you'll change your mind" script I stayed firm and said that whilst I like my friends kids it's not something i've ever felt was for me and I much prefer to spend my time focusing on XYZ. Their summary? "Oh, you just haven't met the right man yet"

Grr

And another car crash beginning on AIBU. I fully expect some to come over here to tell us how we can't possibly ever be upset as we don't have any empathy - being childless an' all.

Yes, that thread is a classic example of all we've been discussing.

I have to admit I'm loving the irony of those implying that parents have this amazing empathy and yet can't themselves empathise with a woman who has recently had a miscarriage after struggling to conceive.

I knew I shouldn't have opened that other thread. Some of the posts are really upsetting, and even when that has been pointed out, on pile another few unempathetic beings dying to point out how motherhood has transformed them.

@Clothrabbit they must have been right cunts before then!

Before I had kids someone told me "life is like an empty black hole without kids". It really annoyed me. For all she knew I could have been infertile.

It really isn’t ok to talk to people unsolicited about the size of their family. You actually know nothing about the reasons behind it. No children, they could be facing all manner of heartache. Why do you need to know why they haven’t got kids/ what they’ll do in old age etc. One child -no it’s not selfish - no they’re not lonely - secondary infertility is more common than primary, don’t say, at least you have one either! Large families. Again could be many reasons, it’s not your business.

Very true Leigh