Things you should never say in front of childless women

[Clothrabbit]

Just following on from another thread I started, what things have childless women on here had said to or in front of them, or read celebs spouting in public, that really hurt or upset them.

For me:

You don't know what real responsibility is until you have a child.
Having a child makes you less selfish.

Would any of you adopt, from birth?
Would that be an option?

FFS. .

However, IMO, you are far more likely to be more knackered and frazzled if you have a job (and also have kids,) than you are if you have a job and no kids. Especially as the women with children, will also have the stresses of work and looking after the home and older family members too. (In addition to looking after/raising their children

And here we go again.

@Herehere66 no I've never considered it, as a woman who's struggling to have children of my own I've never once considered it. In fact I don't even know what adoption is, could you please explain it to me?

@thisneverendingsummer

Although I agree that calling someone a horrid spinster is rude, I seriously doubt that is even remotely true, that single women are generally happier than married women

Well, believe what ever makes you feel good, but that is what the studies say, consistently.

^Gone are the days where a woman’s romantic status defined her, or being single made her feel insecure. For many, this represents independence and the ability to focus on life goals without distraction. And according to a new report from consumer analyst Mintel, 61 percent of British women are happy about being single, in comparison to 49 percent of men in the same position.

The poll also revealed that 75 percent of single women, but only 65 percent of single men, haven’t been searching for a relationship in the past year.

The difference was most noticeable in those aged 45-65 – 32 percent of women were happy being single, whilst only 19 percent of men felt the same.^

www.iflscience.com/editors-blog/women-are-happier-single-as-being-in-a-relationship-means-more-work-/

And that's just one study. There are plenty more coming to the same conclusion.

The fact that there are constantly multiple millions of women on dating sites, blows THAT comment out of the water. In addition to there being many women 'looking for love,' I know a number of single women who struggle way more financially, than women who are in a couple, and are significantly more stressed, because of lack of money, and lack of support from a partner.

Yeah, and you only need to look at the 'Relationships' board to see that many many women are miserable in relationships too. Anecdotal evidence is pretty limited, but as I've said, surveys over the years have shown that happiness tends to decline for women after marriage, but increase for men. Which is probably why women are twice as likely as men to initiate divorce, and half as likely to want to re-marry.

I am not saying married women are better or more superior than singles, but do bog off with the sweeping generalisation that single women are happier than married women - because it's nonsense.

Bog off yourself with your strawmen arguments. All I said was that statistically, single women are happier than married women. Which is a fact.

You sound incredibly defensive btw.

And seen as you quite clearly don't understand people or tact.. I feel that I need to explain to you that I was being sarcastic in my above comment.

if you can't have a baby then adopting would be nice, no?
It was a nice thought and it would be a nice thing to do for the child/baby and the adoptive mother

Luckily for you I don't have time to write a long post to explain all the ways in which that is a really stupid thing to say to anyone....

So I'll just say this

A) ALL people who have been told that they can't have children naturally have considered adoption

B) the reality is that it is FUCKING difficult to adopt

C)

Peanutss I take it you're being sarcastic therefore you have considered it therefore what is the need to be offended if you yourself has considered this option?

@twinkledag *

"bangs head against wall... have you even read the thread...?"

Twinkle, I said it is my OPINION. MY OPINION that women who have full time jobs and children, are more likely to be frazzled, than those who work and have no kids. People are saying that child free women often have stressful jobs, and elderly family to look after, and the home, and their pets and so on..... But women with children (who have a job,) ALSO have all that, AS WELL AS looking after/raising children. I am not saying they are unhappy, but the majority will definitely have more responsibilities than working women with no kids.

I have been a childfree working woman, and also a MOTHER who works full time, and I found being a mother who works full time more tiring and stressful, than when I was childfree woman who works full time.

As I said, I am entitled to my opinions. If you don't like them, or YOUR experiences have been different, well, there's not much I can do about that!!!

I am not saying for a SECOND that mummies are better than child free women, I am just voicing my opinions. Based on my own experiences (and that of many women around me.)

@Herehere66

if you can't have a baby then adopting would be nice, no?It was a nice thought and it would be a nice thing to do for the child/baby and the adoptive mother.

Oh Jesus wept!

Yeah, because it's soooooooooo easy to just fucking ADOPT a child!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s a ducking stupid question. As if ANY couple struggling to conceive won’t have considered it.

@Herehere66 because it's not a fucking blanket solution for fertility issues. It's hard, there are many many hoops to jump through etc... You don't just walk up to a pregnant lady and ask if she'd like to give your her child at birth.

You don't say to someone who's going through fertility issues 'have you considered adoption' as if it solves everything. You just don't. If you can't understand why yourself then I really can't help you.

@IcedPurple

WOW that is quite a rant up there ^ And you have the nerve to call ME defensive?! Look in the mirror.

And calm down, seriously. You sound very angry.

Have to agree. Telling someone to just ADOPT is so fucking patronising and condescending. As some people have said, like they haven't already thought of that!

And it's not as easy as getting a fucking kitten from a pet shop.

I generally don’t comment or talk about someone being childless unless they bring it up.

Peanutss I didn't suggest it will solve everything nor did I say it is soooo easy to adopt but good grief no need just down someone's neck either.

It's no excuse to turn you in to a nasty person.

Here here they get offended at anything you say. You are not allowed to ask a question or have an opinion without them swearing at you, abusing you or calling you names.
I have also been childless but did not get offended by some things that people with children said.

Would any of you adopt, from birth?
Would that be an option?

Are you offering to arrange it for us?

@user1494667160

Here here they get offended at anything you say. You are not allowed to ask a question or have an opinion without them swearing at you, abusing you or calling you names.

I have also been childless but did not get offended by some things that people with children said.

LOL.

If you consider referring to relevant research a 'rant', then there really is no point in me attempting to discuss this with you further. So I'll leave you to enjoy your married life, which, as we all can see, has made you so blissfully happy.

Here its a thread of things people say to childless women which offend them, not a Q and A. Either your deliberately Goadby or incredibly dense.

Herehere66 I don't want to sound like the thread police, but your suggestions (apart from anything else) are off-topic. The thread isn't called 'I'm childless, what can I do?'. It's about hurtful/insensitive/offensive comments made to the childless.

user1494667160 yes I can see, quite sad really

SerenDippitty no sorry can't help you with that.

x-post with Sleeping.

So my relative is looking into adoption ... She sees it as the closest thing to having her own child. Are people offended because other people ask/suggest it?

FWIW I don't think the pp intended to cause any offence.

Here here it is really sad how rude and nasty people are on this thread if you make a simple comment.
I hope they are this angry and horrible to people in real life.

@IcedPurple

See ya then!