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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petty I know but (Would) IBU to copy everyone into the reply?

358 replies

VladmirsPoutine · 18/09/2018 22:14

I know this is quite a petty gripe but it's been eating away at me all evening so I've turned to the reasonable minds of MN.

I'm working on a project in which I have to complete a certain aspect before a colleague can complete her bit. The deadline is looming so about 3 weeks ago she e-mailed me asking me to send her my bit when I was done. I replied that same afternoon with my finished section saying if she wanted me to make any changes or had any comments to let me know soon as and it'd be my first priority.

I didn't hear anything back so all was well in the world. Earlier this afternoon I received an e-mail from her basically saying "Vlad, I asked you to send me xyz 3 weeks ago so I could complete abc as the deadline is nearing. Where is it? Can you send it ASAP." She'd copied in her manager, my manager and their managers too, along with a few others on the edges of the project.

She's not a malicious person so what I suspect happened is that her manager basically asked her where it was as he probably wanted to have a once-over before we declared it finished. So she must have panicked and just sent the e-mail to everyone.

Thing is, if she'd just e-mailed me or just came over to me to ask about it I would have happily said 'Here it is.... I sent it to you that day but you must have overlooked it.'

Now I feel like copying in all the people in the e-mail she sent with a PA reply. As I see it - even if I take the high road and just quietly e-mail her to the others it will look as though I dropped the ball and suddenly picked it back up again when brought to attention.

I've had quite a fairly long and extensive career so I'm not a stranger to these sorts of antics but for one or two reasons this has really irked me.

If you're still with me: WIBU to copy everyone else into the reply saying I sent this to you the same day you asked me about it (which incidentally was to schedule), or should I just send it to her alone in an e-mail and think no more of it?

OP posts:
MiniCooperLover · 19/09/2018 06:58

I used to get this a lot in a law firm I worked in, but I keep every email filed and so could always defend myself! What I would do to protect yourself is be quite breezy and polite, reply all with a 'no problem at all, here you go' and attach your original email with attachment to the reply email. Everyone who receives it will know you did your job on time.

BoneyBackJefferson · 19/09/2018 07:04

First thing to do is make sure that the first email sent with attachment.

Then reply all.

ResistanceIsNecessary · 19/09/2018 07:06

Definitely reply all, attaching the original email and calling out the date you sent it.

I know you feel a bit bad because she's probably panicked, but it teaches her a valuable lesson that next time she does, the correct thing to do is pick up the phone and talk to you - not send shirty emails copying in every man and his dog.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/09/2018 07:09

Reply all.

If you want to be a bit PA add a delivery receipt.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 19/09/2018 07:17

Yes, crack on OP !

ContadoraExplorer · 19/09/2018 07:19

If using Outlook (not sure about others) you can reply all to her email but attach your original, with the document attached to it, saying "please find the attached email from the 15th August (or whatever) with the document you requested.

I bloody hate when people do that to me.

TokyoSushi · 19/09/2018 07:20

I just came in to say definitely reply all with a nice bright & breezy response but I think you already have your answer! Grin

Aaaahfuck · 19/09/2018 07:20

Forward the original and copy everyone in. She wouldn't be copying everyone in unless she wanted to deflect onto you at let's a bit.

Mullersynner · 19/09/2018 07:25

Reply all.. just double check it’s in your sent box with the attachment attached!

Ijumpedtheshark · 19/09/2018 07:26

I’d forward your previous email and just say “see email below”. I’d copy everyone in.

Spam88 · 19/09/2018 07:27

You definitely need to reply all, that's very much the done thing, it would be odd not to include everyone in the reply. And yes yes yes to attaching the previous email - that's my favourite way to respond to dickheads like this 👍

JammieCodger · 19/09/2018 07:30

Of course reply all, but do check first that she hadn’t responded with comments to your first email and is actually referring to that.

And as the majority have said, keep it bare and factual. “Please find attached email sent on xx”. Try anything PA and the copyees will think you’re a petty twat.

DartmoorDoughnut · 19/09/2018 07:31

Definitely reply all. Don’t apologise to them, they missed it. Something like

Please see attached email from ** August with document as requested then.

Sweetpea55 · 19/09/2018 07:39

Id say to you ..'cover your arse'

grumiosmum · 19/09/2018 07:49

Absolutely reply to all.

MissusGeneHunt · 19/09/2018 07:56

Reply all, simple email, and add a delivery and read receipt. This happens frequently to me, usually from one twat.

Chesntoots · 19/09/2018 07:57

I've had this happen to me.

She had copied her manager, my manager, my manager's manager and his dog.

I replied to all too....

She then rang in a flap that I had copied everyone in. I explained that if she couldn't at least do me the courtesy of giving me a call or a private email then I would behave in the same manner. Not had that issue again, strangely enough...

DarklyDreamingDexter · 19/09/2018 08:03

Reply to all, with original email enclosed. Why should she make you out to be the unprofessional one?

HermioneGoesBackHome · 19/09/2018 08:03

Cc to all.
No apologies or discussion or ‘I’m sorry’ etc... but very down to heart answer.

Something along the lines of
‘See document attached’ with the email you originally sent.

Anything else will either look like an apology from you or like you somehow bear some fault into it.

pinkshowerpuff · 19/09/2018 08:06

Save the original email then attach ccing everyone she did. Keep it brief "please see attached as sent previously 23/08/18."
Accidentally or not (guarantee not!) she's making you look bad. There is no other option really under the circumstances than to clear your name.

Alevel · 19/09/2018 08:07

Definitely reply all. Let us know her reaction.

Sallycinnamum · 19/09/2018 08:09

God I hate this pa email bullshit. It's endemic where I work and it's usually the senior managers who are worse!

Banana8080 · 19/09/2018 08:09

Reply all, but keep the tone of your email non-shirty

Quartz2208 · 19/09/2018 08:10

Stop overthinking and just reply all calmly stating the facts

Rachel0Greep · 19/09/2018 08:10

Absolutely reply all, and make it clear when forwarding your original email that you replied originally on x date with attachment.

Fuck that shit of trying to drop you in something.