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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petty I know but (Would) IBU to copy everyone into the reply?

358 replies

VladmirsPoutine · 18/09/2018 22:14

I know this is quite a petty gripe but it's been eating away at me all evening so I've turned to the reasonable minds of MN.

I'm working on a project in which I have to complete a certain aspect before a colleague can complete her bit. The deadline is looming so about 3 weeks ago she e-mailed me asking me to send her my bit when I was done. I replied that same afternoon with my finished section saying if she wanted me to make any changes or had any comments to let me know soon as and it'd be my first priority.

I didn't hear anything back so all was well in the world. Earlier this afternoon I received an e-mail from her basically saying "Vlad, I asked you to send me xyz 3 weeks ago so I could complete abc as the deadline is nearing. Where is it? Can you send it ASAP." She'd copied in her manager, my manager and their managers too, along with a few others on the edges of the project.

She's not a malicious person so what I suspect happened is that her manager basically asked her where it was as he probably wanted to have a once-over before we declared it finished. So she must have panicked and just sent the e-mail to everyone.

Thing is, if she'd just e-mailed me or just came over to me to ask about it I would have happily said 'Here it is.... I sent it to you that day but you must have overlooked it.'

Now I feel like copying in all the people in the e-mail she sent with a PA reply. As I see it - even if I take the high road and just quietly e-mail her to the others it will look as though I dropped the ball and suddenly picked it back up again when brought to attention.

I've had quite a fairly long and extensive career so I'm not a stranger to these sorts of antics but for one or two reasons this has really irked me.

If you're still with me: WIBU to copy everyone else into the reply saying I sent this to you the same day you asked me about it (which incidentally was to schedule), or should I just send it to her alone in an e-mail and think no more of it?

OP posts:
Longdistance · 18/09/2018 22:23

Reply all, and say the date you sent the email to the useless idiot. Who cares if it’s PA.

‘Hi useless, here is the attached document I sent you on 28th August.
Thanks
OP’

I keep my sent emails for months, so I know when I’ve emailed someone something. I can refer back to it.

MummaGiles · 18/09/2018 22:23

Yes, reply to all and attach your original email! She’s trying to throw you under the bus, or even if it’s unintentional that’s still the net result.

Haffdonga · 18/09/2018 22:23

Everyone who was included in the original email should be included in the response. Otherwise it looks worse (as if you're deliberately ignoring or not answering your senior colleagues.)

Fucksgiven · 18/09/2018 22:23

I wouldn't have done if she hadn't already escalated it but in these circa I would as I think you're right about lòking like you dropped the ball.

Don't do pa though, just forward the original email to all. They'll put it together

IdaDown · 18/09/2018 22:24

Foward her the original email and cc everyone in.

HollowTalk · 18/09/2018 22:25

I agree with the others. Copy everyone in to cover yourself and attach a copy of the email you sent her.

Whisky2014 · 18/09/2018 22:25

Reply all and copy on your original sent email. Id say "see attached for the information i sent 3 weeks ago. Kind regards" etc

IAmNotAWitch · 18/09/2018 22:25

I think you have to reply all, otherwise you look like you are not doing your job.

ThunderInMyHeart · 18/09/2018 22:25

100% reply all, attach earlier email, ‘please see attached. Kind regards, Vlad’

If you want an ‘out’, you need to hit reply all in case there’s a REASON you don’t know about that she inc the cast of thousands.

Quantumblue · 18/09/2018 22:25

Yes reply all. She is settling you up to take the fall here.

ThunderInMyHeart · 18/09/2018 22:26

Please update us as and when OP!

lalalalyra · 18/09/2018 22:28

And don't just forward your original email to everyone either - it'd be too easy for them not to notice the date.

I'd reply to all with a "Information was sent at x time on y date when you emailed me. I'll resend it now."

If possible attach it, if not resend it after. It gives her the out of saying there was a technical glitch, but everyone will know that a) that's bollocks and b) she didn't have the manners to ask you first (nor has she chased you in the mean time with the deadline getting closer).

And in future if you have to work with her I'd be sending "Can you just confirm you got X email?" emails and not relying on her at all to let you know if there's an issue.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 18/09/2018 22:28

I'd definitely forward the original message and copy everyone in.

It appears to be her mistake and not yours so I wouldn't want my work conduct to be publicly questioned in this way.

Namelessinseattle · 18/09/2018 22:29

I’d rise above (ish) and send it and say something like apologies. Please see attached- will you let me know you’ve received it? I sent it straight away after your request three weeks ago but you mustn’t have reciebed it.

Might as well behave like the bigger person so you can be even BIGGER when she comes back and apologises. (And Gove her 24 hours before you chase it up asking if you’ve received it this time- it’s a shame to let technical things delay the project when the work is done)

Thebluedog · 18/09/2018 22:30

I’d reply to all, and attach the original email you sent to her initially, I’d simply put.

Dear XXX

please find attached the original email I sent on XXX date with the information requested.

Kind regards

There’s one thing not wanting to drop a colleague in it deliberately, it’s another to take the fall for them

Cuttingthegrass · 18/09/2018 22:30

Yes reply all, reference date of original email and attach. Reiterate, as said in original email that you will prioritise any changes needed

More2Fly · 18/09/2018 22:30

100% reply all and simply say "please see below mail sent on 20/8/18" (or whatever date).
I've done this many times, no way I'd take the hit like that!

findingmywaytoday · 18/09/2018 22:31

Copy everyone in. Her email sounds quite accusatory. She is likely trying to "lay blame" at your door. I work with someone like this and have found the only way to deal with it is to pull them up on it and use reply to all. It may be an innocent mistake on her part, but that isn't really your problem.

KeeVee · 18/09/2018 22:31

Copy everyone in.

LA employee tried emailing me a load of shite about the rent with lots of threatening sounding stuff in it, with her manager and everyone copied in. I send my reply back to everyone too, and it turned out I was right but she never replied again. Haven't heard from her for months

Iloveacurry · 18/09/2018 22:31

Reply all and send a copy of the email you sent to her. So everyone knows you did your bit in a timely manner.

She could of spoken to you or just emailed you, but she didn’t. Do the same.

Emma765 · 18/09/2018 22:31

If reply all and copy and paste original email in to my reply, saying apologies you didn't receive it, I sent it when requested, please see attached. And attach a read receipt 😊

Thebluedog · 18/09/2018 22:31

Actually I like Namelessinseattle response far better than mine, I’d attached the original email too

Noqont · 18/09/2018 22:32

I'd copy everyone in because she did. And if you don't it will look like you didn't do your job properly.

Noqont · 18/09/2018 22:32

And send original email so the dates are clear.

Thatstheendofmytether · 18/09/2018 22:33

Yup copy everyone into it otherwise you would look as though it was your fault.

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