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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petty I know but (Would) IBU to copy everyone into the reply?

358 replies

VladmirsPoutine · 18/09/2018 22:14

I know this is quite a petty gripe but it's been eating away at me all evening so I've turned to the reasonable minds of MN.

I'm working on a project in which I have to complete a certain aspect before a colleague can complete her bit. The deadline is looming so about 3 weeks ago she e-mailed me asking me to send her my bit when I was done. I replied that same afternoon with my finished section saying if she wanted me to make any changes or had any comments to let me know soon as and it'd be my first priority.

I didn't hear anything back so all was well in the world. Earlier this afternoon I received an e-mail from her basically saying "Vlad, I asked you to send me xyz 3 weeks ago so I could complete abc as the deadline is nearing. Where is it? Can you send it ASAP." She'd copied in her manager, my manager and their managers too, along with a few others on the edges of the project.

She's not a malicious person so what I suspect happened is that her manager basically asked her where it was as he probably wanted to have a once-over before we declared it finished. So she must have panicked and just sent the e-mail to everyone.

Thing is, if she'd just e-mailed me or just came over to me to ask about it I would have happily said 'Here it is.... I sent it to you that day but you must have overlooked it.'

Now I feel like copying in all the people in the e-mail she sent with a PA reply. As I see it - even if I take the high road and just quietly e-mail her to the others it will look as though I dropped the ball and suddenly picked it back up again when brought to attention.

I've had quite a fairly long and extensive career so I'm not a stranger to these sorts of antics but for one or two reasons this has really irked me.

If you're still with me: WIBU to copy everyone else into the reply saying I sent this to you the same day you asked me about it (which incidentally was to schedule), or should I just send it to her alone in an e-mail and think no more of it?

OP posts:
Sleepykate · 19/09/2018 04:09

I DEFINITELY would!

Holidayshopping · 19/09/2018 04:10

Not quite sure why you’re thinking about it-yes, click reply to all and forward your original email. She was the one who got everyone involved.

Monty27 · 19/09/2018 04:30

Reply to all including the email trail. Good luck. Flowers

HollyBollyBooBoo · 19/09/2018 04:33

Double check you sent it, attach it to the email and reply all. I fecking hate it when people unnecessarily escalate! So rude!!

JustJoinedRightNow · 19/09/2018 04:43

Definitely copy her in. If she genuinely thinks she hasn’t had it, why wait til now anyway to chase it up? She’s making you look bad, when you had done your bit at the very start.
Good luck and let us know what happens!!

pallisers · 19/09/2018 04:44

Not quite sure why you’re thinking about it-yes, click reply to all and forward your original email. She was the one who got everyone involved.

This. Why would you even wonder what to do. It is work not a social email exchange.

gimeallthecake · 19/09/2018 04:50

I'd hit Reply all! And then have a chat with her afterwards about her cc'ing everyone in. So not cool!

user1483387154 · 19/09/2018 04:53

Agree with others. Yes reply with all included and show screenshot of sent message

crikeycrumbsblimey · 19/09/2018 05:56

Reply to her email attaching the original email with the stuff rather than forwarding the original. Really simple, polite “here is what I sent you on x date” best wishes

Sounds a bit faffy but that way you aren’t the one who cc’d lots if people in as conscious act which you would be if forwarded.

You just replied to hers - her choice to include them in email.

TheDowagerCuntess · 19/09/2018 06:06

You need to close this off, which means alerting everyone in the email that this was handled by you some time ago.

However, YWBVU to go all PA in the response.

You have an opportunity to look coolly competent and professional here, by simply showing this was done and dusted weeks ago. By you.

The minute you go down the PA route, you look really immature.

SponsoredFred · 19/09/2018 06:13

Reply all
Attach original email
Email text: Please see attached

Faithless12 · 19/09/2018 06:16

Word the email nicely, but reply all with the original email as an attachement.

EdisonLightBulb · 19/09/2018 06:22

I get this a lot at work as I work for a huge corp company with lots of different teams and customers.

I just save the original message and attach it to my reply with a simple "hi xxx, I sent the information on 01/01/2018, Please find copy attached"

That's it, and I copy everyone that they did in. Always.

Angrybird345 · 19/09/2018 06:22

Reply all! They are currently thinking you’re incompetent so you need to correct it.

JacNaylor · 19/09/2018 06:31

Yep just reply all, with a resend of the original. You haven't brought people into it, she has.

Isleepinahedgefund · 19/09/2018 06:40

This happens to me with alarming frequency, the blame shifting. My manager loves to do a bit of “where’s this?” and copy everyone in.

I’d re-send the original email you sent to her with the information with s quick polite note along the lines of “you’ve obviously missed my email below” and copy everyone in. It’s not petty, or no more so than what she did, and you need to be a bit self protecting in those circumstances.

DroningOn · 19/09/2018 06:45

Definitely really all, attach the original email and as politely as you can explain you sent it as requested 3 weeks ago.

Definitely don't miss the opportunity to defend yourself and nip this in the bud.

Those CCd in won't think any less of you.....

DroningOn · 19/09/2018 06:46

*reply

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 19/09/2018 06:46

Reply all and attach original sent
Send a passive aggressive Smile

EdithWeston · 19/09/2018 06:48

Yes, you definitely reply all on this one, attaching the original reply email so there is no doubt.

You could even go further and mention a read notification, if your system produced one.

But you do it in a totally neutral, business-like way. You are assisting the object by helping her find data. That you are also stepping away from the blamestorm is an incidental benefit.

gamerwidow · 19/09/2018 06:49

Reply all with the original but not PA comments.
Apart from anything else the other people on the email who form part of the escalation need to know it’s been dealt with so they can take off the list of things to follow up.

allflownthenest · 19/09/2018 06:49

Forward her the original email so that the original date appears on it copying everyone else in on it saying that you sent it x weeks ago but she must have missed it. Her problem not yours.

PurpleMac · 19/09/2018 06:49

YANBU!

TheObwaldhutte · 19/09/2018 06:50

I would reply to all and if she asked me why, I would say that as she had included everyone else you assumed there was good reason for it, ie they had asked to be included. Put the ball back in her court without looking PA.

MaryBerrysChutney · 19/09/2018 06:51

Don't make it nicey nicey. Just Forward original and say "As you can see, I sent you the details 3 weks back and because I did not hear from you I assumed everything was as requested. Let me know if you need help with anything else. Regards, Vlad."

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