To feel slightly embarrassed to say which university my daughter is at?

[sheepdontfly]

Can no one start shouting horrible things to me please? I'm wondering if anyone else knows what I mean and can tell me that they have felt the same or similar.

My daughter has started university this September and so have lots of my friends children. Also her older sibling went to one of the best unis for their subject and a lot of my friends know this, so they automatically are interested in my daughters university. I mentioned it to the first friend and their response was "oh, isn't that really far down in the boards, why did she pick there?" And I was a bit surprised at someone replying that and since I haven't really wanted to tell people where she goes.

I did say to another friend and although she didn't say the same, she did say "well yes quite hard to get into good unis nowadays" and now I'm extremely conscious of it.

What is a Russel group uni? I went to uni 20 years ago and not heard of it?

Pibplob I’m glad I’m not the only one who had to ask!

russellgroup.ac.uk/

Ffs a degree is a degree.
Well done to her.

I think whatever university you select, people are judgemental. My DS is studying engineering at Bath University (non-RG, but ranked highly), and really enjoying it. My cousin and her husband went to Oxbridge. They actually told me they were concerned that their nephew had also chosen Bath for the same course, when they felt he should go to Imperial, as it had a better reputation. I just smiled, and thought them dreadful snobs. Just be happy in yourself, I say!

Having looked at the link from yetalk turns out I turned down offers from 2 RG unis. Clearly names meant nothing to me 😂 Still don't regret it!

What's her course?

I went to a less prestigious university but number 3 in the country for the specific degree I did. Would have been stupid for me to go to one of the bigger names when they couldnt offer me the same specific course.

Your friends reaction sounds a bit disappointing tbh but they probably dont know any better

Be proud of your dcs and don't pay any attention to the comments. If your friends are competitive about the university choices of 18 year olds they are living far too vicariously and really need to let their dcs go.

University is a personal journey - finding friends, becoming independent, gaining confidence, being self motivated and of course getting the degree. Your dcs will be facing these challenges in exactly the same way as other students.

I have learnt over the years that is really unwise to gloat about dcs' successes as life has a habit of bringing people down to earth. For example, a friend's Cambridge educated, high achieving ds is struggling to find satisfying employment a year from graduation; another friend's scholarship dd began at a top uni last September and loves it so much she hasnt been home to see family this whole past summer.

Cheer your dcs on, hope they will be happy and clear sighted and be glad of your relationship with them.

You should refer them to the report this week on a very wide study which says most of your educational achievements are set out by your DNA anyway . So in other words a lot of people are wasting their time on private schooling and pushing their children . As long as she is happy that’s all that matters .

I'd be more embarrased about my choice of friends than my child's achievements (or perceived lack of).

I am in non rg uni, just starting I am in really new one and I chose it because they teach differently. The uni got gold standard in teaching and great employment of graduates. It's also on a way to overtake bunch of rg unies in rankings like Guardian ones.
So don't take it too hard. They are being bit snobby tbh.

In three years time the uni she is in may have changed places with your judgey friends preferred Unis, so long as she is happy what does it matter. I couldn't do A level Biology in a month of Sundays, your girl 'done good' be proud of her.

My degree is from a ‘crap’ university. But it was a really interesting course, they offered me advanced entry with my previous study and the mode of delivery allowed me to attain a degree around my full time job.

In fact, I care so little for rankings and so much about student experience that I just started my Masters with the same university.

OP, I did a biology related course at a lower uni that is also run at a RG uni. Very limited course, not offered in many places. We were told during one later module by the lecturer who used to work at the other uni, that he used to run a similar module which required an investigation, analysis and write up of results. The RG uni provided their students with the 'investigation' details and results and they just had to analyse the same data across the whole class, whereas we were given free reign to choose a project, design our experiment, and find our own results. If it didn't work, well we had more to talk about. My uni was brilliant, we had a great time, I felt like I learned loads. It's not always about the level of the uni, good pass rates can mean they set easier assignments in order to get their numbers looking good rather than focusing on teaching useful skills. We were also offered loads of field trips due to the uni location next to lots of biologically valuable places, and also did a week travel fully funded by the uni aside from accommodation.

As long as your daughter is happy, be happy for her. She will do brilliantly I'm sure. The final decider for me had nothing to do with rankings, following on from an open day the tutor for my course took the time to hand write a short note inviting me to apply, it was lovely and I still have it somewhere.

Did you do a lot of growing when your eldest went to the prestigious university? If so it’s karma biting you on the arse. If not than apologies for misjudging and be proud of your daughter for both passing her A Levels and studying for a degree. Some pupils will never get this far and you should be proud of her acheivements.

*crowing not growing

Hertfordshire has a university? With here a level results you should be happy she got into university doing her subject of choice. If she’s happy, why aren’t you?

ScrumpyCrack. Are you one of OPs bitchy friends?

don't let ur daughter see how you feeling.it will show! you need better friends.even if she flunked at got d or us they should be proud or there for you or just not so bloody judgey!how dare they.
are you as a group like this.would you be the same if it was their child
my sister had a few choices.she chose brummie because it was green! she needed green bits lol.and she loved it.she couldn't have lived happily with the concrete block types of others.it takes all types

You need to find better friends they sound snobby!

I think people will make snide remarks wherever your dcs go. Ds is at Oxbridge, and I never tell anyone (in real life) unless pressed. I have had, "Oh, is that one of those new colleges?" and "It's so good they bend over backwards to let in state school pupils now." There was also, "Are you worried he'll look down on you now?"

My ex went to Cambridge, he did the bare minimum and scraped through with a 2:2 and was asked not to come back to do a masters. It’s not about the university it’s about the peroson attending and how hard they work. She’s gonna do fabulous and make you proud. Your friends are idiots.

It’s bitchy to not have heard of a university?

I can assure you ruby monday that rg unis dont need to set easier tests to get higher results.
They get higher results because the intake of students are higher achieving.
Op i think your daughter should be proud of yourself.

wow, thats really shitty of your friends

please be proud of your daughter

These days it's much more about good courses than good unis. Your friends are both odious and behind the times.