To feel slightly embarrassed to say which university my daughter is at?

[sheepdontfly]

Can no one start shouting horrible things to me please? I'm wondering if anyone else knows what I mean and can tell me that they have felt the same or similar.

My daughter has started university this September and so have lots of my friends children. Also her older sibling went to one of the best unis for their subject and a lot of my friends know this, so they automatically are interested in my daughters university. I mentioned it to the first friend and their response was "oh, isn't that really far down in the boards, why did she pick there?" And I was a bit surprised at someone replying that and since I haven't really wanted to tell people where she goes.

I did say to another friend and although she didn't say the same, she did say "well yes quite hard to get into good unis nowadays" and now I'm extremely conscious of it.

My son applied to the local uni as he wanted to live at home. It's not the best but the course looks great. He's doing biological science.
At the end of the day a degree is a degree. Nobody I know states what university they attended on their cv . They just put the degree.

I went to University of Hertfordshire based at the College Lane campus graduated in 1999 in economics.

Loved it.

Quit with the snobbery.

I’ll just say, op, that during my time at a few very good unis, I met some very smart people, but also some very dim people, some very lazy people, and some people who had academic ability but couldn’t operate in the wider world.

Now that I’m older, the most successful people I know are either those who started off with a massive advantage (hugely wealthy and well connected) or those who are smart enough with the ability to learn from failure, get up after a knock and work smart. Some of those people have very ‘mediocre’ degrees.

I’d advise her to do what I’d advise any student to: work hard, learn to learn from setbacks, learn grit/determination/stickability. Learn and develop her people wrangling skills, network like crazy, and enjoy her degree. Take any opportunity to gain placements and experience.

Good luck to her.

Herts. My local uni

Canada is the only place in the world where I was asked what my salary was and how much I paid for my house

My boss told me class doesn't exist in Canada. I asked her how many of her friends have tattoos, smoke, eat McDonald's or live in the . Zero it turns out. What an AMAZING coincidence.

Oh bollocks to the lot of them!

This idea that uni is the main goal of education - and a "good" uni too - is what puts so many young people off education. We need to get to a point where young people can be proud of being an apprentice, for instance, rather than seeing that as second best.

I know loads of Oxbridge grads who have done well and loads who have done abysmally. I also know loads of ex poly grads who have done well and loads who have done abysmally. I hope your DS can feel proud of her results and when she comes out with her 2.1 or first she will have a brilliant career ahead of her.

Hertfordshire has a university? With here a level results you should be happy she got into university doing her subject of choice. If she’s happy, why aren’t you?

Maybe because of people like you ScrumpyCrack

I would be embarrassed for your friend rather than your DD. Anyone who is relying on ranking stats doesn't really know very much about the Higher education sector and how to judge various options.

Suggest you ask your DD why she picked her course at her Uni and respond with that - although surprised you didn't discuss this with her as part of the decision process.

Herttfordshire isn't RG but apart from MN and within some social groups who don't really get what HE is about, it does not matter a jot unless your DD wants to go into academia, law or banking.
Hertfordshire is about middling in the rankings for Biology. Sometimes a little above middle, sometimes a little below in the rankings. Student satisfaction is high and their employability is high. I have one Hertfordshire Biology graduate on my staff and I have no issue with their overall biology knowledge or (most importantly) their ability to apply their knowledge, develop a method and prepare good quality reports.
Don't be ashamed about your daughter's course. Most young people don't get in to Uni at all.

MrsTerry !

There are often residential campervan/ winnebago type sites in 'cottage country' about an hour or so outside Toronto and there is an awful lot of snobbery about people who live there.

Snobbery is everywhere.

Oh lovey, your friends are being so snobby. Don't let it rub off on you - your DD has achieved a fantastic result in getting in to Uni to study. Be proud of that.

I did two years at a Russell Group Uni that's within the top 10 overall for the UK. Hated it and my course, so dropped out and took a late gap year and then went back to a different Uni which was an ex-Poly and isn't anywhere near the top 50. I was much happier there - great lecturers, fantastic tutors who were really supportive and engaging and a much nicer atmosphere. I don't regret it for a moment.

I know my MIL felt the same as you OP, DH was academic and db wasn't. She felt embarrassed about his grades and other's judgement of them although she knew that she shouldn't. I think db did feel it at the time but over the years it has worn off a bit. All you can do is say that it works for your dd and why it does.

OP apart from not talking to your friends about this again - congrats to your daughter. She's picked her degree and her uni and it's now up to her to make what she wants to of it. As PPs including Bowl have said, she should work hard, network - and even change uni if there's a particular aspect she wants to study further which her uni doesn't provide. And she should go to any milk-round stuff firms offer at her or any other uni. Forget about the rankings of the uni - if she shines, she shines. It's up to her.

I got my BSc from an ex-poly. I now work in an RG uni managing people, a similar age to me, with RG and Oxbridge degrees. When we compare our courses there's very little difference between them.

I also have a post grad qualification from the same ex-poly. It's rated a far better course than the RG uni up the road. There's too much snobbery with names, when most people don't realise the course content is far more important than the name of the university.

As long as your daughter is happy with her choice and the course, who cares?

As long as she's happy and is doing a subject she enjoys, what difference does it make?

If you look around your workplace, how many went to Oxbridge? Do you even know where people went? No-one cares! It's no measure of how successful people are likely to be post university.

Please be proud of your daughter and ignore these horrid, judgemental women.

I had offers from two RG unis and chose not to go to either because the research and teaching on the course wasn't as up to date as the uni I did chose. I'm also getting much better financial support.

I thought that Uni snobbery only existed on here and between universities.

Putting all your faith into league tables as to where will be the most suitable for you personally is daft. There are different league tables published by different organisations using different measures; an establishment hailed for the quality of its research doesn’t necessarily translate to good teaching or accessible pastoral care.

A decline in standards can take a while to filter through before it’s realised an institution is relying on past glories/reputation.

I’d say “having investigated a number in-depth, x Uni seemed the most suitable for her interests and where she’s likely to be happy”

"If you look around your workplace, how many went to Oxbridge? Do you even know where people went?"

I work with a lot of ex Sheffield Hallam students. They are all good at their jobs and a lovely people. But I don't work in the type of company that someone with an Oxbridge first would aspire to.

the lecturers at the red brick/ex polys work harder to support their students (in my opinion/experience) & often care more about their students. as said previously they often have better connections with industry & the world outside academia. Good on your lass ignore those snobs - a lot of students in Cambridge & Oxford come from private schools & guess what the kids from state schools often achieve better results because they have to learn how to work independently and are not spoon fed by school teachers & extra tuition and small classes. Your kid did good it will be interesting to see what kind of result she gets at uni & where she is workwise a few years down the line. Don't dare let them sneer at your kid & say I am proud of her & I have heard good things. The results from your course depend on how much work you put in not on which uni you are at.

My DS1 chose the university he wanted to go to as the course suited him. His friends all chose ‘better’ universities. Three of those friends dropped out of the universities of their choice and went to the one my son chose. He graduated and went on to get a good job doing what he always wanted to do and has a great career path ahead of him. Be proud of your daughter and don’t be so easily swayed by others - I think I’d be taking a long hard look at my choice of friends if I felt the way you do.

I suspect your friends are behind the times. A number of the former polytechnics have good reputations in specific subjects, so much so that they are regarded as on a par with or ahead of some of the older-established universities.

They're seriously behind the times on Hertfordshire. According to Wikipedia:

The university was among the top 50 best UK universities chosen by major employers for producing ready-to-work graduates in Times Higher Education’s 2015 ranking and it is one of only a few UK HEIs to have been awarded a European Commission HR Excellence in Research badge. Over the past two years it has risen an impressive 75 places in the rankings. Hertfordshire is also ranked in the top two universities in the east of England region for employability, second only to Cambridge. Being one of the most technologically advanced institutions in Europe, Hertfordshire's enrolment has steadily increased since it was awarded university status.

I suspect Hertfordshire itself has contributed substantially to that entry, but I assume that it's based on solid evidence.

I did my first degree at a uni many would consider worse than Herts.

I’m now a senior university lecturer. Not at a RG uni but at one that’s generally considered good.

It’s very true that going to a “rubbish” uni does not have to hold you back nor is it an indicator of how well you will do in life.

I did my degree somewhere not considered great for it (is considered great for other subjects). I specifically chose it because the course was different and sounded a lot more interesting than other universities. I've never regretted my choice, nor do I feel it held me back in anyway.