To feel slightly embarrassed to say which university my daughter is at?

[sheepdontfly]

Can no one start shouting horrible things to me please? I'm wondering if anyone else knows what I mean and can tell me that they have felt the same or similar.

My daughter has started university this September and so have lots of my friends children. Also her older sibling went to one of the best unis for their subject and a lot of my friends know this, so they automatically are interested in my daughters university. I mentioned it to the first friend and their response was "oh, isn't that really far down in the boards, why did she pick there?" And I was a bit surprised at someone replying that and since I haven't really wanted to tell people where she goes.

I did say to another friend and although she didn't say the same, she did say "well yes quite hard to get into good unis nowadays" and now I'm extremely conscious of it.

"former polytechnic" is ridiculous anyway! I think none of these were even polys when I went 24 years ago!! A bit of an outdated opinion to say the least.
Well done to your DD and I hope she enjoys the experience and does well.

I'd ignore those 'friends'. I didn't know about RG universities until using mumsnet...I simply went for options based on there location and whether they taught the course I wanted. I have been to Strathclyde, Abertay (Dundee) and Dundee University...none of which are particularly prestigious. In fact, Abertay would be one that snobs look down on as a jumped up poly but for me, it was the one I feel gave me the best support and the best learning experience. Nobody gave two hoots which uni I went to when I applied for jobs and I work for the top consultancy in my field. Going to a 'jumped up poly' had no negative impact on my career whatsoever, so I would tend to not pay any heed to those who harp on about RG universities like they are essential.

I'm so glad I don't live in a snobby area any more (brought up in London and lived in the home counties until DCs were born). Where we are now (north of England) is brilliant. DD and her friends are looking at universities for next year based on the courses and the facilities available. None of them or their parents give a monkey's about where they go, we're just proud of their considerable achievements. If anything, as a group of parents, we're encouraging them to look at living costs etc as a "posh" uni may well give bragging rights for your snobby mates but their kids are going to be paying a premium in fees and general living costs and will leave in far more debt than mine at the end of their degree!

Nothing wrong with being a snob now and then OP, we all do it.

Just laugh at yourself for being silly.

Rude, snobby people Ignore them. And please don't get like them....be proud of her achievements.

"former polytechnic" is ridiculous anyway! I think none of these were even polys when I went 24 years ago!!

They changed in September 1991, so 27 years ago. My upper sixth applied to both universities and polytechnics on separate forms, but by the time they actually went to them in September/October they were known as universities.

It is really is very rude of people comment on which uni your DD attends. You'd do well not to take any notice of them, or, if they sound particularly rude I'd be tempted to pull them up on it.

And yes your are BU, it's not very nice for your DD, you shouldn't be embarrassed because of some snobby idiots fgs!

One offspring went to a Russell group uni, but didn’t get on well there. He quit and then started at a place that’s way down the ratings. He said the lecturers were so much better at the latter. He ended up with a first class degree! And now has a great job. Have faith in your daughter. And ditch those friends!

Your friends are rude and judgy. How v unpleasant.

Find some better friends. Picking the right university for the course you want to do, where the teaching will be high quality in that particular discipline and in a place where you’ll thrive is the most important thing.

Besides, in my experience the parents (pretty much always the mothers) who obsess over which university their kids go to are often not achieving to their true potential themselves. Either they didn’t get into a ‘good’ university themself, or they did, but have failed to achieve as successful career as they might have done. That’s why they end up living vicariously through their children.

First world problems

Yeah because MN is full of third world problems eh @Belina

Virtue signal elsewhere pls

OP, I did my degree at Hertfordshire and it's a fantastic university. Loved every minute and came out with my first class degree!

I'm interviewing someone with a degree from Hertfordshire next week! Made me chuckle after reading this thread.

My husband went to a former poly and he's now earning £400 a day. A new client has just offered him £450 a day actually 🤷🏼‍♀️

I know 2 people with law degrees from a more prestigious uni that couldn't get jobs and now work zero hours in retail/hospitality.

Uni is only 4 (in Scotland) years of your life, there are many more important things that will happen afterwards that will shape your life and career.

Do you know what, I went to one of the top unis for my subject. I was given all the chat about how x and y (leaders in their field) were lecturers on the course. And they were. But only some of the time, when they weren’t on lecture tours or research visits etc etc. Their prime concern was their own research and profile. Students were, to many, a necessary evil. My Dad meanwhile taught at an ex-poly and he never missed lectures and genuinely cared far more about his students, taking time to help them when they needed extra support etc. Don’t be taken in by the league tables: they show a very small part of the picture.

And maybe get some nicer friends who recognise that it’s fulfilling the potential of each person that is important, not being better than everyone else.

Your friends are mean. They didn’t need to say anything disparaging and we’re just rude in their comments. However I do disagree with some of the posters saying university ranking doesn’t matter. For some jobs it absolutely does but realistically with her a-levels she might be filtered out of those roles anyway. For others, her uni choice won’t necessarily be an asset but if she’s good enough, that won’t be a barrier. For other roles, uni ranking won’t matter at all.

If it is the right choice for her she’ll do the best she can. She presumably picked it for a reason and will hopefully have 3 happy years there. It has to be about her and her chance to thrive rather than your bragging rights to friends.

I agree with you flowersandbirds. I went to a RG uni way before there were RG unis, and I loved my time there (perhaps a little too much emphasis on socialising :) ). Both my daughters are in RG unis (absolutely not chosen for that reason) - DD2 is about to start so will see how that goes but DD1 is at the same uni I went to. I think it's light years apart really because now it's all about the lecturers' research and profile as you say, and the students are just a necessary evil to fund it all!

What your daughter needs to do now OP is to separate herself from the crowd. Eldest would like to teach (it would suit her actually). She spent her Erasmus year teaching in a French school, and spent the summer au pairing and doing a language course in her other European language. She has a good bit of experience in youth work. She is going to teach voluntarily in a grammar school a day a week. She has experience of working for a charity, and also paid work experience. She's tutored individual pupils and is also in a position to teach 2 musical instruments. I think (and hope) her determination and focus will pay off for her.

Those are the things that will set students apart, not which uni they went to.

I have to admit, I did my professional qualification and my masters in an ex poly which had merged with a 'young' uni and I thought the place was crap! The course was fine and I got a distinction but I think I would have preferred my alma mater (which didn't offer the degree I wanted at the time).

I feel your pain. My daughter has just started at a non Russell Group University and I've had similar comments, though not from close friends. I'm afraid snobs will always be snobs. My daughter chose the one she's at based on the course which wasn't offered at the RG's (who only seem to offer the traditional same old same old courses). I think the non RG's think outside the box and work harder at attracting students, plus the class sizes are smaller (therefore their teachers know them all well - not just a number). Going to an RG uni doesn't guarantee happiness or a job at the end. So be proud and make sure everyone knows how amazing the course is and she's having a great time.

Your ‘friends’ are stuck up dinosaur throw-backs. Please don’t join in with their vileness & piss all over your daughter’s chips

I went to a poly and then did a post grad at a high ranking uni. I was so much happier at the poly and the teaching was just as good.
I now work at a “low ranking” uni which is a fantastic place to work, is actually very high ranking for some courses and takes good care of its students.
I can’t stand uni snobbery.

I work in higher education quality and it's not always the Russell Group or so-called 'top' universities that get the best results or have the highest TEF (Teaching Excellence Framework) scores. Often they are so concerned with research that undergraduate teaching suffers.
Also your 'friends' sound unpleasant and probably know very little about HE. Your DD will do just fine. Honestly.

When I went to uni I had never heard of The Russell group, despite going to a Grammar school. Tbh I was happy to go to a uni that did a course that interested me. I remember looking at the alternative guide to university and seeing that the percentage of people completing the courses at Oxford and Cambridge were considerably lower than places I had looked at. At the time that was of more interest to me. I loved being a student, I hope she has a great time, doing something she is passionate about.

I looked around Hertfordshire with my DD. She didn't end up going there in the end as she got her first choice elsewhere, but would have been happy to go otherwise. It has some great facilities and a very cosy, self contained campus. Excellent entertainment complex on site for gigs and events. I'm sure your daughter will be very happy and supported there. Ignore the snide comments from others, they are just snobs.