To feel slightly embarrassed to say which university my daughter is at?

[sheepdontfly]

Can no one start shouting horrible things to me please? I'm wondering if anyone else knows what I mean and can tell me that they have felt the same or similar.

My daughter has started university this September and so have lots of my friends children. Also her older sibling went to one of the best unis for their subject and a lot of my friends know this, so they automatically are interested in my daughters university. I mentioned it to the first friend and their response was "oh, isn't that really far down in the boards, why did she pick there?" And I was a bit surprised at someone replying that and since I haven't really wanted to tell people where she goes.

I did say to another friend and although she didn't say the same, she did say "well yes quite hard to get into good unis nowadays" and now I'm extremely conscious of it.

Your friends are a bunch of shallow, thoughtless snobs. Obviously going to a 'top of the board' uni doesn't guarantee you success in every area it seems. So are you going to tell us which uni it is?

Why would you ever say something like that to a friend?

FWIW my office does not allow applicants to say what uni they went to on their application form.

You are being just as judgemental by saying her friends are snobby!

There is a disparity in universities based on research/ course outcomes. Top employers flock to snap up the best graduates from the top universities for a reason.

If you owned a company in these competitive and difficult economic times you too would want the brightest, most dynamic and hardworking graduates possible to join it.

At the end of the day, there are lots of employers too who just want loyalty or people to turn up 9-5 and they are not looking for la creme.

Some grads from top unis have starting salaries at companies that are double the salaries of lesser known companies.

The demands that top employers put on their top grads would not suit anyone but the highest achievers.

So it's good that there are courses and unis to suit all.

Ignore them all.

It's Hertfordshire.

Is she a lovely person? Yes? Then be proud, and stop worrying. Uni popularity waxes and wanes, if she works hard and is dedicated, she'll come out on top.

Nope. Don't care. Nor does my employer- high profile public servant.

I went to a RG university, but when I went there (am old) it was considered upstart and red brick (said with a sneering tone). I’ve got a year 13 son who I’m desperately hoping will pull it together to get a degree somewhere that he enjoys and feels fulfilled by. I’m earning less than ALL of my friends who went to ‘less well regarded’ universities, but I enjoyed my time and do a worthwhile (underpaid 😡) job that helps kids and prepares them for job opps, future life and being decent human beings. Hang out with better people and be happy.

I did my degree at an “ex-poly” in the same city as a RG uni. I also did my A levels 2 years after my brother who went to Oxford. I was never ashamed of my university, got a good degree and now have a job I like.

I don’t think my university not being RG has in anyway held me back, when I’ve been recruiting for new staff, which university someone went to is barely a consideration.

What’s more important is that your daughter enjoys her course and is supported by everyone (uni, family, friends) to do her best, whatever that is.

Next time this comes up, tell your friends which uni she’s at and that you’re proud of her and really league tables don’t really matter.

Definitely agree that you need new friends.

I'm thankful that uni snobbery isn't really a thing in Canada.

I went to Lincoln University, which at the time, was being ripped in the inbetweeners show as well as online. I went there because I felt most at home on a tour, and it rated high for student satisfaction in a lot of catergories. It also wasn’t too far or too close to home. People choose where to go based on a lot more than how the course rates! I had the best 3 years of my life and graduated with a good degree despite going to a ‘rubbish uni’

Your friends sound awful

I wonder about the posters saying, "your friends are snobby". I mean OP clearly told everyone about the first DC going somewhere prestigious... Birds of a feather and all that.

OP be proud of your DC. Not because of the subject or university or anything like that. Be proud because of her great qualities. Is she kind, funny, interesting, passionate? That's the real stuff.

Years ago I dated a guy who got a first from Oxford. I have never met anyone with so little common sense. He went into teaching, couldn't handle it and now works part time as a supply teacher! Success, or the lack thereof, does not come from which University you attend.

You are naive to the extreme to say Canadian unis don't have snobbery. Sure they do!

Trinity anyone?!

I'm thankful that uni snobbery isn't really a thing in Canada.

Oh and that's bollocks. Canadians always pretend they are above class. McGill over Windsor every time.

My uni is probably middle of the road but the course individually is one of the best for my subject.

Is she a lovely person? Yes? Then be proud, and stop worrying

This. The things people worry about!!

MN makes me smile. I can almost sense people recoil in horror when I admit that not only did I not go to university, I didn’t even study a-levels. I have a good job, a decent salary (10 mins commute, low stress, great life balance) and I am extremely happy.

OP, I know several people who have graduated from the university I think you're referring to with excellent degrees. Indeed my own cousin has just started there. Take absolutely no notice. People are awful!

I would get in first before they ask you, tell them how happy you are with uni xxx and that your dd is having a ball. It will save the painful wait for the inevitable question.
Perhaps your friends were jealous of your other dds success and are enjoying the one and only moment of watching you squirm. Don't give them the satisfaction.

I agree you need new friends too!

Nothing to be embarrassed about. If DD is happy and enjoys the course and does as well as she can while she’s studying, that is ALL that matters. It’s entirely possible to go to the best uni in the world and squander your time there. Be proud of her.

Pretty-there are too many generalisations in your post. Whether a university would be preferred by a given employer is course and context specific.

I did my undergrad at a uni ranked much lower than the all singing, all dancing RG uni where I did my MA. I felt far more valued by the former than the latter.

Hertfordshire's website says they got a gold ranking in the Teaching Excellence Framework 2018, I wonder how many of your snobby friend's children can say the same of their unis?

I've been to polys and red bricks. The polys were better. And no one has every not given me a job based on which university I went to. The grade matters, the uni doesn't.

Please please challenge your friends next time. They were rude.

Canada is the only place in the world where I was asked what my salary was and how much I paid for my house