To feel slightly embarrassed to say which university my daughter is at?

[sheepdontfly]

Can no one start shouting horrible things to me please? I'm wondering if anyone else knows what I mean and can tell me that they have felt the same or similar.

My daughter has started university this September and so have lots of my friends children. Also her older sibling went to one of the best unis for their subject and a lot of my friends know this, so they automatically are interested in my daughters university. I mentioned it to the first friend and their response was "oh, isn't that really far down in the boards, why did she pick there?" And I was a bit surprised at someone replying that and since I haven't really wanted to tell people where she goes.

I did say to another friend and although she didn't say the same, she did say "well yes quite hard to get into good unis nowadays" and now I'm extremely conscious of it.

Only thinking - did you in anyway big up your older child?

As you say elder sibling got into very good university when maybe friends children did not achieve so well?
It all sounds a little pretentious - having to work and live beside people like your friends we moved.

If you allow your friends response to affect you it may have an impact on your attitude towards your younger daughter's achievements which would be a shame.

Don't much like your friends TBH

I went to what is considered one of the best universities in the country for my degree.
I can honestly tell you it makes no difference whatsoever.
I work with lots of people within my profession who went to "bad" universities, we do the same job and earn the same money. They are just as respected in their careers, and honestly nobody even asks about which university you went to once you are qualified. (Similar to how GCSE results become less important once you have your a levels).

😩😩

OMG ! If your friends find out they will surely snub you and not want to be your friend anymore ........
I would have had a going away party for your daughter wishing her lots of luck and happiness .....
more important things to worry about

Congrats to your daughter. As the mother of a severely disabled adult child who should be out in the world with his peers. I’m ecstatic if he makes his own sandwich! I’d be delighted if he could speak and communicate. Huge congratulations to your daughter. I’d definitely be dumping that friend!

I got brilliant a levels and went to one of the best unis in the country. Dropped out after a year. Went back a couple of years ago with the ou. Finished my degree and I’m on track to doing a pgce. Same outcome. Uni is uni. A degree is a degree.

Well done to your daughter. Please be proud of her. She so deserves that!

Her grades aren't bad. Science subjects are difficult.

Her Uni isn't a top one, but it's fine.

It's about her doing the hard work now. Your friends are quite rude.

It’s lovely to see how most posts are supportive of the daughter and anti-snobbery. But all the snobs are still out there ... as an example, I read a recent MN post suggesting about life choices in Manchester , how to get into the grammar school for best life achievements and uni’s ... so really, it’s well ingrained in the culture.

Great to know there a good bunch of non-snobbish people in this country!!!

These plasticated, and shallow so called friends, need to shut up. or get lost.

Is your daughter happy at her university.?Is she studying something interesting which she can use later on? If so that is all that matters, not the inane remarks of people who probably haven’t even been to any university.

The responses to this are heartening as I find mumsnet is usually far snobbier about 'ex-polys' than anyone in RL.

We in our family are four (different) professionals who went to different unis. The one currently earning the most money and globe trotting in his work to boot, went to the lowest Uni. I don't even know or care if it is RG. Work performance , ability to work well with colleagues, be productive and a cv demonstrating that , trumps a first or degree from a good uni.

Make sure your feelings don't transfer to your DD. Poor girl.

This. Your friends sound massively status conscious.

Where I live (big city in the south) there are two universities. One used to be really prestigious but now the other (ex-Poly) is the one most people choose as it gets better funding and a better graduate employment rate.

My godson went to a russel group uni (Southampton ) which serverly let hi. m down. He started a biomedical science course 2 years in the uni lost its accreditation for hospital work which was was what he specifically aiming to do. They didn't tell the students until they started 3rd year and said I'd they wanted that element they needed to do another year at another uni such as Cardiff. So university really let him down so Russelect Group Unis not all they are cracked up to be ...often talked up by people who attended doesn't mean they are the best!🤔

Wow some people are stuck up their own arse I’d be screaming from rooftops if my kids went to uni it’s a massive accomplishment no matter where they go maybe you should focus on your daughters achievements rather than worry wat your friends think

That's poor alig99. DD is looking at biomed, and no RG university is IBMS accredited. A lot of RG universities do biomed, but they are accredited by the Royal Society of Biology. It usually means that if you want to work for the NHS you have to do top up modules. Of the universities we have visited so far Lancaster is looking favourite because it is IBMS accredited.

Your friends sound awful ! I always think of it as when you go and see the gp or have a blood test or take your child to school do you ever ask those people what university did you receive your degree ! It's all the same degree. All the best to your daughter hope she enjoys university

I had a bit of a turbulent time after A-levels as I lost a prestigious university place. I still went to a RG uni but I will never forget a programme coming on tv at the time with some lecturers from universities across the UK filmed mingling at a drinks reception.

My DF pointed out one of the waiting staff and quipped "that's the guy from XXXX "

Please just be happy for her and support her. And get some nicer friends.

Be proud that your daughter wants to go to university and got good enough grades. Well done to her! Don’t let small minded arrogant snobs make you feel this way. Shut them down and move on for you and your daughters sake. I hope she has an amazing time at uni!! It’s a hard enough transition for all without ‘friends’ like those 🙄

Take no notice, sheepdontfly - both my niece and nephew went to Coventry Uni because they live in Birmingham and they're inclined to be a couple of lazy arses at the best of times.

They both did OK and are now both in reasonably lucrative employment - and this in spite of them both obtaining a degree in Geography, of all things. (Well, just what CAN you do with a Geog. degree?)

Far, far too much OxBridge snobbery around IMHO - is this the 21st century or is it nto? I blame making Brideshead Revisited into a telly series - that fed our imaginations the most ridiculous pretentions......

Who needs 'friends' like yours. Dump them

Well done to your daughter and good luck to her.

Care less about such awful opinions I think. All that matters is how she feels.

Your daughter has obviously worked extremely hard to achieve those grades and get into a university. Be proud of her!

She needs to pick the right Uni/course for her. Not pick a RG Uni to impress her Mum's friends!

My brother and a lot of people I know went to Warwick Uni mainly because it was local and they stayed living with parents, not because it's a RG Uni or even the right choice!

I left home and went to a 'lower' Uni which turned out brilliantly and the experience of living away from home was amazing and life changing in a positive way. My parents were proud of us both. I've had a successful career ever since and have no regrets.

OP I realise you were caught off guard by their snobby comments. Next time, I'm sure you will have some positive comebacks. I'm not saying to put them in their place, but to open their closed minds.