To feel slightly embarrassed to say which university my daughter is at?

[sheepdontfly]

Can no one start shouting horrible things to me please? I'm wondering if anyone else knows what I mean and can tell me that they have felt the same or similar.

My daughter has started university this September and so have lots of my friends children. Also her older sibling went to one of the best unis for their subject and a lot of my friends know this, so they automatically are interested in my daughters university. I mentioned it to the first friend and their response was "oh, isn't that really far down in the boards, why did she pick there?" And I was a bit surprised at someone replying that and since I haven't really wanted to tell people where she goes.

I did say to another friend and although she didn't say the same, she did say "well yes quite hard to get into good unis nowadays" and now I'm extremely conscious of it.

Success is measured by happiness, hope ur daughter is successful and happy. Your friends remarks are bitchy let them jog on 😘

And the people who have no academic qualifications yet have sterling in the bank? So many people suffering from limited thinking after getting in debt just to broaden their mind

What university is she at? You definitely need new friends

Offtocornwall

I see that Hertfordshire offers students the chance to do work placements and sandwich years. They seem to care about the prospects of their students and encourage them to work on their careers. It sounds like a great option for your DD.

Your friends don’t sound so great though.

If someone said to me ".......that's far down the boards" I'd have a few choice words to say back to them. You should be utterly glowing and proud of your daughter and her uni, you really should!
I went to a RG uni but that was back in the dark ages. I'm now watching my kids choose their unis......things are changing. You can have a pure subject degree from Oxbridge and be less employable and on a lower wage than many lower tier universities but with highly desirable, vocationally focussed courses. I think Which? and Unistats are brilliant and have really lifted the lid on the whole higher ed industry.
Don't worry about it. Let it be water of a ducks back OP. Oxford Brooke's is a brilliant differentiated uni and has always suffered from sounding like the poor relation versus Oxford. It happens. Unless people have been to these unis and seen them first hand, they're frankly ignorant.

I chose my Uni based on the course and the campus (the location was far from ideal - way to close to parent :D)

I had similar results to your daughter, but I did have offers from more 'prestigious' universities (an under-subscribed course), but chose where I did for my own, good, reasons.

I've done very well for myself (working class/out in the sticks upbringing), lived all over the world for my job, on target to retire next year (I'm 40), despite also having a couple of kids along the way, and own a house outright. My partner doesn't even have a degree, and we've pretty much equally contributed to our work status and ability to retire.

Don't be embarrassed. Be proud she's at uni, that she's chosen a course that fits her. Uni is supposed to be about learning, not about getting a name for your CV.

You need new friends ....although don't expect too much sympathy on here as HE snobbery is rife.... according to MN unless you go to Oxbridge or a RG you needn't bother. Which is, of course, the biggest load of bullshit around

Ditch the ‘friend’ who went to the college of one upmanship or have a witty response. These normally occur after the initial put down and far too late to be if any use,

What should the OP have replied ?

meh. Ask em where they went "Scum bag college"?

Is your daughter happy at university?
If yes, that's all you need to bother about. If not, what your so called friends think is irrelevant as they are judgemental fools.
There's nothing wrong with BCC.

Life is what you make of it, we should celebrate achievement and if she's happy, who cares what other people think. Incidentally, I dropped out of Uni whilst my DB has an MA. I pursued a career and now have professional qualifications, own my own house etc. I earn approximately double what my DB does.

DS went to MMU, and had to do a foundation year because of poor A level results, going back to do Masters there (Biology) Younger DS is at UWE, couldn't be prouder of both of them! Doing what they chose and doing well and enjoying it. All good.

Please don't feel bad OP. My DD2 attended a Russell Group University having got 2 A* and a B for her A levels. She is severely dyslexic and suffers from mental health problems.

The pastoral care was crap. She didn't even have a proper personal tutor in her final year. Well, she had one nominally but it changed halfway through the year and she only saw the first one to get her dissertation supervisor changed. (They dug up a fossilised relic from a bygone age, a retired English lecturer, to supervise an Ancient History dissertation, when he'd been out of lecturing for several years!) She never saw the second personal tutor at all! One of her lecturers and her (new) dissertation tutor were missing for much of the last semester, on strike!
Upshot was she only ended up with a 2:2 which is virtually no use at all when she wanted to get onto a masters course.
She is taking a year out to get head together and is having to set her sights now on a masters at a university "far down the list".
I expect she'll fare better when and if she gets there as they won't be resting on their laurels and past reputation!

Hugs for your DD @Ifeelsuchafool and shame shame on Bristol....not uncommon there. Where I live people are up their own bottoms with snobbery. We visited Norwich which DD loved and will apply to. But when I mention Norwich to other parents their faces screw up like I've held a dog turd under the nose.

My university was chosen for its course and location, it’s ranking was never really a consideration

To be honest you sound as snobby as your friends, I feel sorry for your daughter

Bollocks to all that! My daughter got offered 3 places, 2 a Russell group the other not. She’s gone to the one that’s not as that’s the place she liked the most. I’d never tell her to go elsewhere because it’s a RG. My only concern is she’s happy, the rest will follow.
Bloody horrible ‘friends’.

I'm with @RelentlessSylvia. What a narrow way of looking at life, kids etc. They would be thunderstruck if a child of theirs was one of the 1 in 20 with SEN.

It wasn't Bristol @Tinkobell Fwiw it was King's College London.

Hertfordshire is a fabulous university-my daughters friend went there, did really well in her subject and now has a very well paid graduate level job at the age of 22. The facilities for all sorts of subjects are brilliant. They have some lovely new halls of residence and the night life is amazing. It was one of DDs top choices when she was looking round unis a few years ago.

Please don't be ashamed- ignore your snobby, rude "friends"

You say BCC isn't great but those are decent grades. A Levels are bloody hard- especially the sciences- well done to her.

At university it is often the ones who have the work ethic and the passion for their subject who succeed the most. When I went to uni ( many moons ago) I went in on the lowest grades of all the cohort and ended up with a prize for the best dissertation (86%!) and a high level 2:1. Honours degree. ( one person got a first and I achieved the second highest mark)

There were three people in my year who had straight A's ( which in 1983 was almost unheard of-) one failed the first year, and the other two got 3rds- didn't do a bit of work because they didn't think they needed to.

Be proud of her and find some new friends

I went to a completely none elite uni. Not only is it not Russell group but it is an ex polytechnic... I went because the course suited me and so did the location. It's made zero difference to my prospects.

Honestly I really wouldn't worry about it. If she's happy, doing a course she enjoys and actually studying rather than fucking about and getting drunk 7 days a week I really don't see the issue.

That is interesting ifeelsuchafool because my DS has a similar issue to dyslexia and wants to study history at degree level. He was thinking of Kings as an option but I don’t think he should bother now.

Get new friends

Hi
don't know if this will make you feel any better, my ds 1 very clever but very lazy! He scraped a rubbish degree from a rubbish (sorry) Uni. He is now a Director of a multi national Company and very happy. dd also very clever (mensa) went to top uni gained good degree (first) now lives in London in poverty renting a s.hole flat for an extortionate amount of money but enjoys her chosen career (opera singer) ds 2 sn starved of oxygen at birth and struggled academically, more or less written off by 'professionals' Was not expected to gain even 1 GCSE Now lives and travels around Europe (public sector) earning an obscene amount of money plus perks. Funny old world! Ignore ignorant comments, the girl done good x
Must add the brains didn't come from me, complete fluke

Why not kings larlarland ?