AIBU or is my sister? Money gifted from parents

[R0sesandTulips]

My mum and stepdad have had a flat for years which they’ve rented out with the view that sometime after my sister and I finished uni they’d sell it and split the money equally between us (there’s just us two) to ideally help us with a house deposit. Which of course is absolutely amazingly generous.

Due to circumstances my mum and stepdad hadn’t to keep he flat for a few more years (they had lovely tenants with school age kids who they didn’t want to turf out and tenants couldn’t afford to buy at that point so waited until they were able). Of course this is absolutely fine, their flat, their decision. Although my sister was quite vocal in how displeased she was she wasn’t getting the money right then (she’s a year younger and had been right out of uni ) and was fed up that she had to start renting somewhere.

Fast forward to now and the tenants are in a position to buy and my mum and stepdad are excited to be able to give us both sizeable amounts (talking about £110k ish each, incredibly generous) to help with deposits.

The problem my sister now has with this is that I live in a cheaper part of the UK and that money would go a lot further and perhaps even allow me to be mortgage free (I’ve been living in house shares and saving a deposit of my own for 6ish years) whereas where my sister and her DP want to buy it would be a sizeable drop in the total cost, but they would still have a fairly big mortgage).

My sister has rented a flat since second year of uni and has no savings (prefers to spend on a nice flat and holidays etc, again that’s her choice and I don’t judge her for it because everyone’s different.

My sister has started saying that instead of the money being split equally my parents should do it proportionally. I.e if they want to buy a £300k house she should get the £100k and I should get money proportionate to ge house I’m buying. Houses I’m looking at are in the range of £95-120k) so £30-40k. Then split the rest of the money left between us for furnishing and decorating.

My sister is very vocal and had cut off contact with us all for various things in the past that she’s annoyed about I can tell my parents are really worrying about what would happen if they go ahead and gift us both equal amounts.

I don’t want to be grabby as they absolutely don’t have to give either of us any money and I’m so very grateful for the offer. I’m thinking about just accepting what my sister wants to do and doing it that way but I don’t actually think it’s fair.

AIBU to think she’s being a bit cheeky and I’m being penalised for wanting to buy where property is cheaper and for having savings of my own.

She's a cheeky fucker. Tell everyone you're planning to relocate to central London and so you fully support her suggestion of split in proportion to property prices. Report back what she says next

Just say you are looking at similarly priced properties! That you think you might as well get a "forever home"

And no, you wouldn't be being grabby. It's not fair at all and there's nothing to stop her selling her property in a year or two, taking the cash and moving to a cheaper part of the country.

Similarly, in the future you could decide to move to a dearer part of the country.

This money was meant to secure your future not just your present.

Surely this is nothing to do with you & completely your parent’s decision?

I think it's fair to say everyone agrees your sister is a cheeky so and so , course it should be split equal your mum and dad surely think she is unreasonable . It's up to you what you do with money or where you live . It's incredibly generous offer and the fact she's now saying you shouldn't get the same is well out of order .

All sorts could happen in the future- you need to move somewhere expensive, you or her divorcing, you or her or a DH being run over by a bus. You get my drift. It's 110,000 each and that's that.

She is taking the piss and if one go mine came up with that plan they would get nothing and their share would g into trust for any possible grandchildren.

I really hope your parents see through this. What would happen if you chose to move somewhere more expensive after they have you money? Would you then get an even split.

She is being ridiculous. I'm afraid the fairness is in a 50/50 split, how you then spend it is none of her business!

Buying a cheaper property then continuing to save will give you security!

send her links to houses near you, that are cheaper

shes a def CF though!!

She's a cheeky git. I hope your parents don't bow to her demands. That's the worst thing they could do. If she doesn't want a free 110k, I'll have it.

Thinking more long term (much more long term I hope!) I would also encourage your parents to write a very clear, water tight will.

She's a cheeky fucker. Tell everyone you're planning to relocate to central London and so you fully support her suggestion of split in proportion to property prices. Report back what she says next

I’d definitely do that if anyone would ever believe I’d leave Scotland. Came for uni and fell in love and will probably never leave. Originally from herts/Essex border and proper prices are ridiculous there. Sister wants to buy in Surrey. It’s absolutely mind boggling the difference in what you can get for your money tho. I didn’t realise how big until she’d started moaning about it.

I really hope your parents are not considering this. She is a brat and should not be pandered too.

The thing with my parents is they are just so lovely. And they live a quiet life. Teenage years with my sister in the house we’re quite honestly terrible. But they love her, as do I and don’t want to be cut off again. I know my stepdad particulary is keep for it to be an even split, but he’ll let my mum make the decision. It’s just so sad that this lovely hing their doing is being overshadowed

Surely this is nothing to do with you & completely your parent’s decision?

It is absolutely their decision I just don’t like the idea of them being manipulated but my sister who has almost always gotten her own way. I don’t want to come off as selfish or jealous either. I could probably get a mortgage with my own deposit now if I wanted to. any money would be a massive help. It’s just the principle that the agreement years ago is now being questioned by my sister

I agree with a op, say that actually you've decided to look at houses in the same price range as her so boo 👻 sucks to her.

She is awful.

She’s a horrible cf. show her this thread. If I where your dp’s I’d give it all to you and give her nowt.

Maybe you should cry and wail that she has a DP so only has to find half of a deposit/mortgage/payment. If she got £110,000 and her partner matched it they would have a very small mortgage. You want your own place that you can buy outright. Tough shit to your sister, so bloody entitled its not funny. Your parents should not change the split, why should you be punished for not being a spoilt little madam. Stand up for yourself, your sister will always battle she is owed more, if its not this it will be something else

She's not a CF, she's a conniving, thieving bitch, trying to actually steal your half of a family inheritance of sorts.

Absolute bitch.

You should each get half as promised,

Please stand your ground and in no way accept anything less than your fair share, ie, 50% of what your parents are proposing. Why are you all giving her the platform to dictate? Stand firm.

Bloody hell! What an entitled cow! She's getting over 100k before she turns 30 and it's still not enough? She can choose to move somewhere cheaper if she likes or she can continue to live somewhere more expensive and will have to live with the consequences of that choice.

Likewise if you move somewhere more expensive at a later date you'll have to pay more to live there.

It's quite likely that her salary will be higher than yours too, geographically. She is off her rocker.

Wherever you are there must be some houses that are more expensive than £100K, so send a few links to houses that you are 'considering' in the £300 to £500K range. Tell her that she was right, you were aiming too low with your expectations (that's not what she was saying, but you can misinterpret if you want). That way your Mum and Stepdad can give you equal amounts without having to counter her argument, preferably without even referencing her argument.

YABU...to even contemplate giving in to bratty, grabby behaviour.

In this house, such behaviour would be dealt with as follows:

DC behaving with manners and maturity would receive their gift in full (half the money).
DC behaving like an oversized toddler would be informed that their gift would be waiting for them once they had grown up.

Aside from the money she needs to stop being pandered to. What if she has kids one day and decides that your parents HAVE to provide all childcare because her job is more demanding than anyone else's.

Although, I think your parents are being a bit too nice here. In their position I would say "Do you want 100K or not?" and if she goes no contact then that would be a sign that she doesn't want any money at all.

christ-she cannot he allowed to get her own way on this?!

Will she expect more of your parents’ money in their will as well?!