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Original poster

Mum at school making me feel crap!

521 replies

VillianInaDress · 16/09/2018 13:55

Hello everyone. I want to start by saying I'm not a nutter but I am very confused about this mum at school and how she makes me feel. I live in a very affluent and pretty village in Derbyshire. DS1 and DS2 go to the local school which is a wonderful place DH has a great job and I run my own little business from home so I am very happy in general. Since school started, there is this mum, and I had heard about her previously but not really seen her. I only saw her this last week or two and I am going to sound so pathetic here but, she makes me feel like crap. Every single time I've seen her since school has started again I've just stared and felt like a right frump in comparison. I thought she was about 25 found out on Friday that she's nearer 40. She doesn't dress inappropriately but her legs and bottom look amazing in just a pair of leggings! WTF? She wears heels every single day, every day! And I've seen her run into the playground wearing these heels!!! Shas 3 kids, one has just started reception and from what I know she is divorced.
She makes everything look so easy. Her kids always look immaculate with best hair and clothes. Oh and packed lunches for all 3 and my DS has told me that she puts notes on little napkins for them and sometimes they even bring in homemade goodies rather then the soggy cheese sandwiches I give to my kids. I've been told she is doing a degree in law AND she's a freakin school governor and she just looks gorgeous every single day!!!! How? And why am I feeling like this?
Most of the other mums say nasty things about her because apparently she's not very friendly and even I see she just brings her 3 DDs and then leaves without talking to anyone. But my DS is friendly with her oldest DD and from what he tells me her DD is really kind and not like other typical 10 /11 year old girls so this mum must be doing something right?
I want to say hello to her because maybe she's lonely? Or maybe I am? To make it worse, DH knew exactly who I was talking about when I mentioned her to hin and he said all the dads at school drool over her which made me wonder if he does too? I've only had 2 children and I am only 29 but I look older then this other mum who has a good 10 years on me. I am normally not like this, why does this mum make me feel so inadequate? She doesn't come across as stuck up, more just not wanting to get involved but then why does she make such an effort to look so good if she doesn't care what others have to say about her? Why does she affect me this way? I now feel paranoid about letting my husband go to the school in case he sees her and thinks how unattractive and lazy I am compared to her AND the heels!

Help!!!!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 16/09/2018 22:12

They are possibly!

bumblecream · 16/09/2018 22:20

Well come on bluntness, if people don’t make an effort with you, and your first assumption is that it’s because of how beautiful you are, it’s a bit ewww, a bit big headed and a bit narcassisitc to imagine everyone is admiring your beauty and consequently hates your guts.

It really is a life observation of mine that the true beauties I have met are oblivious to it. I think it’s because unlike people with false enhancements, they were born so beautiful and have always received the same reactions.

There’s nothing wrong with being of the more plastic variety, either, but it’s different to true natural beauty.

I would bet this beautiful woman in the school yard is oblivious to her beauty, especially if her daughter is so nice, she’s probably not a big head.
She might think no one speaks to her because she’s a student/a single mum/she’s shy/not very forthcoming. Or she may have thought nothing of it and just assumed she doesn’t have friendships with other school mums because she is so busy pursuing other stuff and never gives it a second thought.

But one thing I would say is I would be surprised to see a reverse post from her, ‘no one at the school yard speaks to me, because I’m just so heart stoppingly beautiful’ Grin

rightknockered · 16/09/2018 22:24

Well Bumble you clearly hate women who are confident enough to understand how hot they are. Oh dear.

MrsMoastyToasty · 16/09/2018 22:25

You don't know what her failings are...she might be the type of person who can't boil a kettle without burning the water.

rightknockered · 16/09/2018 22:25

I can assure you that the reason people might avoid you in the school yard is because you're a bitch Bumble I know I would. You stink of it

bumblecream · 16/09/2018 22:26

“Look at me I’m so hot everyone hates me”.
Hmmm not the kind of confidence I would want to inspire in a young woman.
Would you?

rightknockered · 16/09/2018 22:26

If only I could afford a bit of plastic. But I spend too much on clothes and make up.

rightknockered · 16/09/2018 22:27

hahahaha. I needed a laugh. Thankyou Bumble

bumblecream · 16/09/2018 22:28

Right you’ve never met me.
But I’m not the sort of woman who hates other women for how they look.
Nor would I automatically assume someone disliked me because they were jealous of me.
If that makes me a bitch then ok, I’ll take that.

rightknockered · 16/09/2018 22:29

You're the type of person that believes that women should be kept down, lest they get ahead of themselves and become knowledgeable of their own worth. Only the meek trodden down types should be accepted, not the strong ones. So sad. I will be teaching my daughter that she has nothing to be ashamed of, and that her beauty is an accident of birth, and she should therefore not be ashamed of it

AynRandTheObjectivist · 16/09/2018 22:30

I know a few people who are beautiful and know it. They can't possibly not know it, they're models and dancers/actors who get cast in sexy roles. They're not conceited over it, they're just aware of it in the same way other people are aware that they're good singers or football players.

I think this "anyone who's truly beautiful would NEVER KNOW IT and would NEVER HAVE HAD ANY WORK DONE" is a bit MN wishful thinking.

rightknockered · 16/09/2018 22:31

Well lucky you that you are so privileged that no women or man has ever been jealous of you enough to ostracise you. Yet you wish to ostracise other women because they know they're beautiful. FFS

rightknockered · 16/09/2018 22:33

(I've never had any work done by the way, and only spend ten minutes getting dressed and ready in the morning, plus have three autistic sons, with no family support and a shitty ex)

Aspenfrost · 16/09/2018 22:33

I can quite understand a mum just dropping off a child, or picking one up, WITHOUT engaging in this ludicrous, girly rubbish at the school gate.

rightknockered · 16/09/2018 22:34

But never mind. Because you think that all women that are blessed by accidental beauty, (why are you making me feel ashamed of it) must have had work done, etc. etc.

rightknockered · 16/09/2018 22:36

School run tomorrow, and already stressed. Because it is a warm day, and I have to wear something suitable for warm temperatures, which means a dress or skirt. So being stared at will be the way this week. Dreading it. But why should I?

BanginChoons · 16/09/2018 22:40

Don't be jealous, she's divorced. Most of the glam mums I know are divorced. Beauty doesn't equal happiness. In fact, it probably just makes you more insecure. Better to haggard but happy.

Or maybe she is happy being single? Not all single parents are miserable, some of us love that we can live our lives how we choose without having to compromise. Please don't pity my single parent status. I am thriving.

MissHavershamssis · 16/09/2018 22:41

'Backing slowly out of thread hoping people don't see her in her leggings and heels' Blush

In my defence, they're more jeggings than leggings Glitterball Although I'm sure some posters will find them equally as vulgar Grin

Joking aside (though true), some of the negative comments from some posters belittling a woman's clothing choices shows nothing but nasty spite - who cares what anyone wears as long as they're comfortable and think they look great?

bumblecream · 16/09/2018 22:42

Tough decisions right.
Don’t loose too much sleep over deciding what to wear.

Oh and as for the self worth comments, that shouldn’t be based on looks.
I would never encourage any young woman to base their knowledge of their own worth on their looks.
It’s a bit shallow.

@aynrandperhaps you are right and some of them are aware of their beauty.
But they are just so modest and pleasant they come across as unaware.
Unlike “I’m so beautiful everyone hates me”.
I wouldn’t ostracise anyone, but I’d find this attitude rather dull and wouldn’t seek to become friends with someone so full of them self.

jilldoyoulikeowls · 16/09/2018 22:46

Is she really a villain in a dress OP?!

rightknockered · 16/09/2018 22:50

the thing that makes it tough Bumble is know the looks I will get. It's always worse when wearing a dress. But you wouldn't understand that. Because you only see your own viewpoint, and no-one else's experience matters to you. You're fat too privileged.

rightknockered · 16/09/2018 22:51

Very naive to think that people's looks don't affect self esteem. Again, so privileged

AynRandTheObjectivist · 16/09/2018 22:55

You're fat too privileged.

I don't usually point out typos, I make enough of them when I'm on my phone, but for some reason I love this one so much I think it bears repeating. I guess it's just extra funny given the subject matter and context.

LoisWilkerson1 · 16/09/2018 22:55

Good gawd you've worked out a fair bit about her Sherlock. I hate this kind of scrutiny, especially women doing it to other woman. It's childish.

rightknockered · 16/09/2018 22:58

Ha, I saw that type Rand, couldn't be bothered to correct it

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