Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To wonder why so many famous people are publicly supporting...

250 replies

ThanksHunkyJesus · 14/09/2018 21:21

Oritse of JLS fame who has been charged with the rape of a 20 year old fan, along with a friend of his who is accused of assaulting the same woman. Those who have publicly lent their support and well wishes to oritse include aston merrygold (also of jls), Alexandra Burke, Rochelle humes and olly murs amongst plenty of others. Falling over themselves to declare what a lovely guy oritse is.

Am I going mad or did #me too never happen? Why publicly throw your support behind someone who is accused of rape in the current climate? I wouldn't want to speculate whether he's guilty or not - but no consideration at all for the young woman did shock me.

OP posts:
BigLass9 · 15/09/2018 18:43

Wow that was an agressive response. I think you will find they are not rapists actually.
And my local force do have this policy. I've discussed it with them.
I am not embarrassed whatsoever for having a different opinion. However you should be embarrassed for failing to hold your temper.

GunpowderGelatine · 15/09/2018 18:44

Which local force BigLass? I suspect you're talking utter bollocks

GunpowderGelatine · 15/09/2018 18:45

Were you a lawyer or officer on the cases where the female accused 7 boys? Because if it didn't go to court I'm not sure how you'd know this information?

BigLass9 · 15/09/2018 18:46

I don't want to discuss with agressive people.

Good post yetalk

GunpowderGelatine · 15/09/2018 18:46

Also, I didn't say you should be embarrassed about your opinion. I said you should be embarrassed for telling lies without even researching how easily your lies can be refuted

GunpowderGelatine · 15/09/2018 18:47

So you're not going to reveal the local force that you reckon has this policy? Funny that! (Because it doesn't exist)

IWishIHadEvenMorePlasticTat · 15/09/2018 18:51

I just do not understand how people can still think that by going to a man’s hotel room automatically equals consent to sex.

I met a man in a club when I was in my 20s. I went back to his flat with him. Yes, I intended to willingly shag him. But when we got into his bedroom I saw that he had an unnerving number of posters of Paul Weller up on his walls. And then the penny dropped that he actually dressed really like Paul Weller. I deduced that he had a massive man-crush on Paul Weller and with that, my vagina shrivelled up inside itself and I made my excuses and left.

Was I obliged to shag him, or let him rape me, just because I’d willingly gone into his bedroom??

GunpowderGelatine · 15/09/2018 18:55

Well you didn't "wave goodbye at the door" IWish so if he had it wouldn't be rape to some on this thread Hmm

MozzieMagnet · 15/09/2018 18:56

Indeed. When I kicked a date out of my house having made it clear when he invited himself back for coffee that that was all he would be getting, did I break a fucking code? This thread sucks. No offence OP.

GunpowderGelatine · 15/09/2018 18:57

Thinking about it I once went back to a guy's flat with the intent of having sex then got my period when I was there, so it was off the cards! @counterpoint was he still entitled to sex with me? Should he have expected sex? If he's forced himself on me would it have been a 'misunderstanding' on his part?

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 15/09/2018 19:02

I havent lost my temper so which local force please big

You can pm me if you like and I promise ill only cut and paste

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 15/09/2018 19:04

Cos i am not unhappy to believe that one police force has this written policy

I don't believe that all 43 have it and i dont want to read all 43 policies just to find the one you know about

Please and thank you

Bumpitybumper · 15/09/2018 19:48

I agree with those who have suggested that the celebrity friends have been emboldened by the whole Big Brother/Roxanne Pallet affair. So many celebrities came forward on social media to support Ryan Thomas and were roundly applauded speakjng out, I believe it appeared to set a new precedent in that you could publicly express support for the accused that you also happened to be friends with. The massive difference in this case is obviously that not only is there no video evidence to definitively disprove what is alleged to have happened, but the claims are credible enough that he has been charged with a crime. In this context I think that the celebrities have horribly misjudged the situation and I think their comments of support do imply that they don't believe the accusations and therefore think the woman is a liar. He may well appear to be a nice guy and could genuinely do lots of great things, this doesn't prove he isn't a rapist or capable of doing bad things.

ThanksHunkyJesus · 15/09/2018 20:13

I agree with those who have suggested that the celebrity friends have been emboldened by the whole Big Brother/Roxanne Pallet affair. So many celebrities came forward on social media to support Ryan Thomas and were roundly applauded speakjng out

That's a good point. So they're still just protecting their own reputations - potentially at the expense of a rape victim. How lovely.

By the way... can all the victim blamers just piss off? This isn't about whether you think women deserve everything they get if they decide to trust someone or go to their hotel room. Maybe you should start a thread about that yourselves if that's what you want to spout off about. I, and it seems quite a few people on this thread, already know a women is not to blame for being raped or attacked. (In more general terms, not about this case in particular). That's not what this thread is about.

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 15/09/2018 20:21

Without engaging in the online lynch mob, I have to say I’m very angry with Roxanne Pallett’s actions.

Not only could her actions have had very real, very serious consequences for the men accused, BUT she has single handedly made reporting rape or violence against women much more difficult than it already was.

The media have their poster girl to metaphorically beat women they disagree with over the head with now, and that’s fucking terrifying.

Again, I wish her no harm, I do not want to call her names nor do I want her life to be ruined.

But she really does need to understand and attempt to make amends for her horrendous actions.

GunpowderGelatine · 15/09/2018 20:57

I agree re Roxanne Pallett - the saddest thing about it all is that she's become a poster girl for MRAs everywhere who just want someone to hold up and say "See, this is what women do". BUT the vitriol thrown her way was way OTT. She is more hated than celebrity men who DO beat women. It's pathetic. Even on MN people were crying out for her to be arrested FFS. On one thread I asked what she's supposed to be arrested for and someone (who amusingly said they studied Law) said slander - which you can't be arrested for (said poster argued for about 200 posts that you can). Women have to do little to be so very hated. Sorry for derailing!

YeTalkShiteHen · 15/09/2018 21:02

I was trying to find the words to explain what I meant but you’ve summed it up beautifully Gunpowder. I think online mobs are appalling, and are as bad, if not worse than their targets!

I also agree about MRAs and she is not responsible for their actions, if it wasn’t her it would be someone else.

It’s the actions that need to be considered and thrashed out to ensure nobody is harmed, but to take it out on someone personally is particularly unpleasant.

counterpoint · 15/09/2018 21:58

I hope you know that YOU are part of the problem of why women don't report rape

And perhaps you are part of the problem why some females know they can get away with any accusations.

YeTalkShiteHen · 15/09/2018 22:01

And perhaps you are part of the problem why some females know they can get away with any accusations

Do you really think as many women make false accusations as men commit rape?

Good grief.

IWishIHadEvenMorePlasticTat · 15/09/2018 22:20

On one thread I asked what she's supposed to be arrested for and someone (who amusingly said they studied Law) said slander - which you can't be arrested for (said poster argued for about 200 posts that you can). Women have to do little to be so very hated. Sorry for derailing!

Lol did someone really say that? Fucks sake.

GunpowderGelatine · 15/09/2018 22:23

Lol @counterpoint I'm fine being the problem in the Fairytale Land of Accusationville.

I think some people think that being accused of rape is as bad as being raped - in fact I know someone on MN did as it was mentioned on a Roxanne Pallett thread a few days ago Angry

GunpowderGelatine · 15/09/2018 22:25

They did IWish, it was quite amusing and they linked the defamation suits to 'prove' they were right 🙄 I don't think they actually knew the difference between civil and criminal law and were just telling porky lies about studying law

1981fishgut · 15/09/2018 22:26

Dickybow321

I'm wondering if the whole Celebrity Big Brother saga with Roxanne Pallette falsely accusing a man of punching her has caused a backlash against the #metoo movement.

I think that will be the lady who started the movement being accused denying then being found to have lied about shagging a 17 year old

IWishIHadEvenMorePlasticTat · 15/09/2018 22:27

They can’t have been studying law if they didn’t know sonething as basic as that.

That’s really funny. Keyboard warriors trying to win the point and showing themselves up.

YeTalkShiteHen · 15/09/2018 22:28

AA has made counter claims, it’s not as black and white as it first appears.

I’m not defending her, I don’t know the truth of any of the Weinstein/others cases (although he is not convincing me, at all)

I think it’s easy to try to discredit women, it’s the default position and has been for millenia. It doesn’t make it right though.