Well done op for starting this thread - it has made me laugh as I can identify with a lot of it - there needs to be much more open talk about the symptoms and the impact on normal life. If most of the previous generation were on HRT then no wonder all this is coming out of nowhere!
partway through I was thinking I need to show my kids this thread then I read this I’d hate for my kids to have lasting memories of me being a screaming, moody banshee for years!
I think this is probably how my kids do see me 😂
Admittedly I have had recent & ongoing major stresses (ugly divorce) to deal with but having read this thread it seems that maybe some of my reaction to dealing with life is pretty normal given my age!
My health is my next thing to tackle on life’s todo list! I have been bookmarking lots of articles - I believe our lifestyle choices, our diet is out of sync with what is “intended” for us and the more we simplify things hopefully the more fulfilment we will find.
Some facts - I’m 53 I can’t take HRT I’ve had breast cancer ( I also had ivf - pumped full of drugs side effect - breast cancer!)
I’m also on venlafaxine for depression - have been for years - my symptoms of depression manifest as tiredness followed by irritability and then being unable to cope.
Periods are all over the show - ive had the flooding, thought they had actually stopped but turn up for a few days every now and then. I’ve had blood tests I’m still in full hormone levels - not even classed as peri yet!
I get horrendous night sweats wake up soaking wet - but I have always been a person who sweats - Zumba - I’m dripping wet dancing Ditto!
I don’t get hot flushes as such when awake but do get moments of feeling too hot and uncomfortable!
I’ve had uncontrollable itching skin - possible reaction to hormone treatment after breast cancer? So much so ended up at dermatology.
I wake most nights anywhere between 2 and 5 will be wide awake - thought this was due to the stress I’m under, a symptom of depression but again maybe not. I’m often on MN, I have done divorce paperwork at this time of night often my head is at its clearest!
But then I am useless mid afternoon - have a sleep most days so I can cope with kids post school! I thought this too was depression. Someone mentioned the 4 pm rage - I can remember when my Dd ( now 17) was a baby this was her witching hour - she would have what I called screaming abdabs - uncontrollable crying that even when I had had an afternoon sleep I could not always cope with!
Brain fog -memory loss - I often finish sentences blah blah blah as I can’t remember what I was going to say!
I often can’t find things that I know was there! Have to stop myself going into rage on this!
My house is in chaos lately due to too much to do - still got loose ends of divorce to tie up - and so piles of paperwork all over the show - have emptied out loft of 20 years worth of crap ( due to rat and impending house move) and contents are all over house to be sorted binned kept or other! Don’t want to put back in loft until sorted ( cant anyway as now also got back problem to deal with) but cannot seem to get round to doing this!
Kids are fed up living in a mess - house was more or less showhome prior to divorce 4 years ago! I’ve read a recent article about hoarding - it’s being classified as a mental disorder - I think I could have this too - I have duplicate clothes in varying sizes - I have clothes for this occasion that occasion -I could set up a bloody clothes shop! Spend most of my time in tracksuit bottoms or pjs these days and when I do get dressed wear the same outfits! I’m trying to have a major declutter but I need help with lifting boxes, moving things around and my kids now 17 just want to party!
As for empty nest syndrome I think I had my kids too late - much as I love them actually they are ready to leave home and I’m ready too! I Like going to bed - i don’t want cooking smells and boom boom boom after 9pm and then getting up to a fucking messy kitchen before they surface at lunchtime! Back to school - bloody great!
Facial fucking hair! Bad karma here - back in my teens a then boyfriend referred to one of my friends as the bearded lady - well if you’ve seen the greatest showman!
Looked into laser - therapist said no point whilst under extreme stress as this would be triggering more hair growth - have bought lumea - just can’t get my skin in right condition to use it - no time to do anything but can “loose” hours in front of a mirror!
Have got apple cider vinegar and I think flaxseeds in cupboard - have heard Dr Marylin Glenville talk on hormones and menopause even bought some of her tablets! When kids were babies was very into organic and cooking from scratch - over years this has diluted and lately I can’t be bothered to cook or to eat - but enjoy nice food if it has been prepared for me!
Know all the shit about ready meals being full of crap but can convince myself if bought from M & S must be ok! @BIWI I have come across your threads before you do a great job - need to get myself in a place where I can take this on board!
So having read all this I’m not so sure that what I believe are my issues are really my issues - you lot all seem to be struggling pretty much as I am!
And so my conclusion is that I think we are being brainwashed into living a life that we are not really meant to live by - the more we have the better our life - when actually I think it’s the less we have, when we have what we need, not what we want or what the jones’ have, when we live life simply eating good food that has been grown naturally, have time in our day to have a “holiday” - through mindfulness, exercise or things that give us pleasure, that we realise that flogging ourselves until we are 65 because somebody has told us this is what we “have” to do when they are doing nothing of the bloody sort! Anyway this is the theory putting it into practise is something I’m aiming at!
In the meantime I’ve heard in the media giving women time off work for menopausal symptoms - I think this was scoffed at - but unless we talk openly and frankly about this this attitude will continue!
I think most people associate menopause with periods stopping - end of ! It’s pretty clear it is significantly much more than this!
For those that are able and do take HRT if this is what you need to do then great! But there are a lot who can’t or maybe don’t want to and maybe the only way of coping is to realise you are not on your own with your bloody weird list of symptoms. So ladies talk, talk everywhere you can- I’m going to start by showing my kids this thread so they can see that actually I am not some bloody nutter they have been living with these last few years but actually pretty normal with or without everything else that is going on!
And ladies laugh because we have to - my rage has even got its own reference now “shoved in the hedge” - I can’t remember why exactly but I must ask!
