Treating child on a harness, like a dog???

[Damnivy]

So keep my 2 year old on a child harness if we are out and about. She doesn't like using a pram anymore. And loves to run off, or finds something she likes the look of and just stops moving! I have 4dcs and only had to use them with my youngest.
I have a 3 year old too and makes it hard when the youngest runs off as have to grab the 3 year old before I can go after her, as can't leave either unattended.
So the harness is safe and practical. Dd walks brilliantly whilst on the harness with no complaint.
So today while in town, a lady starts smiling at dd and saying hello! Innocent enough! But then walks over and tells me what a sweet child dd is, but she can't help but feel sorry for her being 'tied up'. And I should stop treating her like a dog!!!! Iv had a few people say in the past that they wouldn't use a harness as they feel like they are walking a dog ect..
So AIBU in using this as a safety precaution while trying to teach my dd road safety and to stop running off, or do I look as though I should be walking a dog? Did you use them/won't use them, or have any ideas of how to stop my child running off?

DD pretends she is a dog when she has hers on - it’s cute and she’s safe

meglet all mine would stop at the road by 18mo, so it wouldn't have been bloody stupid of me to let them run on ahead and press the button.

Don't get why treating them like a dog is an insult. I put ddog on a lead as I want to keep her safe and she doesn't understand road safety. That also applies to children,and holding hands is uncomfortable fo all concerned.

My DD (now 23) spent most of her toddler years pretending to be a dog and would only answer to a dog name. She turned down reins in favour of a real dog lead clipped to the hood of her coat. Worked wonderfully. Happy, safe (if barking, literally) child. She doesn't even particularly like dogs now. Use the reins and don't worry!

We used to live in a city and a harness was needed, otherwise I’d have had to carry my son everywhere. Not needed for my middle child because we lived in the country and it would just be weird.
Ignore her! It’s for the child’s safety

I use them for our 14mo.

I'm terrified of him running off... mainly because I know I was a little terror and he has that same energy level/spark/insanity that I had.

You are keeping your child safe.

Now, if you were bending down to give him treats for not running off and making him drink out of a dog water bottle then it'd be something to worry about. But I'm assuming you're not so...

Why do people feel the need to give their opinion when it hasn't been asked for?!

We used them because we had a bolter. I didn't give a fig about the odd look. Better a toddler on reins than toddler squashed flat or strangling themselves trying to escape from buggy.

@LightDrizzle love that response!

My three year old now holds my hand brilliantly and I'm short so this works for me but when she was younger the backpack on a lead gave me peace of mind.

Even 'non bolters' can be unpredictable and a tragedy can occur in seconds.

On a similar thread a while back a lady came on to say she lost one of her twins when her then DH decided he didn't need reins and the little boy ran into traffic. Utterly heart breaking.

If you're doing it for the physical safety of your child, how can it be unreasonable?

Wow, so many replys, thanks so much!
Its so annoying to have someone put down your parenting! Even when it's for no good reason!
I honestly didn't realise how popular reins are! Glad to hear how many mum's use them. X

The backpack things are fantastic

My two needed some form of reins whatever it was because they were holders

It was reins or some form of injury

To be honest I find the "looking like a dog " thing just showing that the person commenting is a bit dense, if they really aren't bright enough to know the difference I feel a tad sorry for them

I used to wrap the reins around my wrist and then get DS to hold my hand. It was added insurance for a child who didn't bolt, but would become distracted and let go of my hand if something caught his eye. I think some people associate reins with bad parenting and that is why they have fallen out of favour. I had an awful job finding any when DS needed them about 14 years ago. I can't count how many times I have been seen a frantic mother chase after a child in a supermarket or shopping centre and thought to myself, that child needs to be on reins.

YANBU. Apart from traffic, remember James Bulger? My first thought when that happened was, "Why wasn't he on reins?" My eldest was the same age, so it really hit home

This has been mentioned at least twice on the thread and I really don't agree with it as it implies blame should be apportioned to James Bulger's mother for what happened on that day when in reality the only people to blame are the two boys who led him away. Given that the mother of one of the killers has made similar comments to the press in the past - that its not her son's fault because James should have been on reins - I think it's in poor taste.

Frankly, when I saw the pic, I thought this is totally nuts (didn't know this even exists). But having read how it is difficult with the additional 3 year old, I get it. Better that than a lost/injured child.

@EwItsAHooman excellent post, well said.

I hate the “why wasn’t he on reins” argument regarding James Bulger.

The idea that it was his mothers fault for not putting reins on him is atrocious. There were two people to blame that day and she is not one of them and to make what happened about his lack of reins is fucking shitty

When my first daughter hit two..she RAN everywhere. I found the harness reins an absolute God send. They made going out...safer! Ignore people that make negative comments. If they experienced keeping up with a small child..trust me..they would use reins too!!!

If you have a runner you have no choice. I remember a tragic story of a Mum running after toddler and the pram with baby going under a bus. It was horrific

I had the wrist ones when they were a bit older just if we were somewhere busy. I lost my 2 yo DD at a funfair. She was smaller than the stall height and lost for over 5 minutes. Horrors of that were enough to bring reins in for these type of places

I had the same opinion when I saw kids on the reins and said I would never do that to my child when I had children. That quickly changed when I had my second. I didn’t use it much though as it still felt restrictive and he still want manageable so went back to using the pram. I preferred the backpack ones rather than the reigns. Unless you’re in that situation, it’s easy to judge. Your child’s safety is paramount

I still use them for my 3 year old bolter!

I think safety is of paramount importance, and reins ensure your LO is safe. I use a rucksack for my little one (it's a lion) with the rein coming out the back, but anything to keep them safe I say.

meglet all mine would stop at the road by 18mo, so it wouldn't have been bloody stupid of me to let them run on ahead and press the butto

By 18 months!?! Really?? More luck than judgement I'd say!

Surely it's no different to strapping them in a buggy.... in fact they have more freedom in reins than a buggy.

My DS has reins. My mum didn't understand- she said none of us had them. Then she took DS for the day 😂😂😂 she always uses reins now! I love them. DS smiles when he sees them as he knows it means no buggy.