Treating child on a harness, like a dog???

[Damnivy]

So keep my 2 year old on a child harness if we are out and about. She doesn't like using a pram anymore. And loves to run off, or finds something she likes the look of and just stops moving! I have 4dcs and only had to use them with my youngest.
I have a 3 year old too and makes it hard when the youngest runs off as have to grab the 3 year old before I can go after her, as can't leave either unattended.
So the harness is safe and practical. Dd walks brilliantly whilst on the harness with no complaint.
So today while in town, a lady starts smiling at dd and saying hello! Innocent enough! But then walks over and tells me what a sweet child dd is, but she can't help but feel sorry for her being 'tied up'. And I should stop treating her like a dog!!!! Iv had a few people say in the past that they wouldn't use a harness as they feel like they are walking a dog ect..
So AIBU in using this as a safety precaution while trying to teach my dd road safety and to stop running off, or do I look as though I should be walking a dog? Did you use them/won't use them, or have any ideas of how to stop my child running off?

Meh, better a dog than dead.

Keep the reins, your daughter is far safer than running free into the road

I use them; my 2 year olds safety matters more to me than someone else’s opinion. A friend recently said it was like treating your child like a dog; but I said it was to keep him safe from getting lost or running in front of a car

I use them. DS (18mo) travels everywhere at a run and has no road sense. We tried the backpack first but he worked out how o unclip it in about 2 seconds, so now we use a trunki toddlepak, which clips at the back.

I too always remember MrsPresley and her sad story.

Both my children are severely autistic, the eldest used reins till he was about four, the five year old still does.

I'm not sure if we get any judgy looks based on his reins specifically, basically everytime we go out it's to the background noise of the muttered comments of the people who don't think we can hear. The ongoing chatter about my youngest, how loud he is, why is he still in a pushchair, why does he keep screaming, why is he headbutting things etc is the background noise to everything we ever do.

The reins and Maclaren Major (special needs pushchair) allow us to leave the house, anyone else's opinion is irrelevant and if they are brave or stupid enough to come and tell me what I should be doing I will make sure they never do it to anyone else.

My youngest stepson (now 19) was like Houdini. When his dad had him out, he used one of those cuff things with the curly lead like an old style telephone. One cuff on him, and one on the little one. Little one didn't like it til daddy said "Daddy's scared he'll get lost and he won't be able to find you, so we'll use this, ok?" All good after that!

My son has autism and if I didn't use them he would put himself and others in danger. Fuck what everyone else thinks!

My mum always says she is so envious of mums today, because they have harnesses 😁 She would love to have them when we were young.

Reins were certainly around in the 1950s/60s. I and my siblings had a set in white leather, with jingle bells on the front.

I was walking up to my local station once when a toddler, probably not two years old, came hurtling towards me. He was going downhill, so had built up quite a speed. His mum and grandma, a long way behind, were calling out to me to stop him (which I would have, anyway). If I hadn't been there, he probably would have run straight into the road at the bottom.

I also have an autistic almost 4 year old who would bolt anywhere if he wasn’t on reins.

I wouldn’t take kindly to a comment equating him to a dog.

@EwItsAHooman This is even more shocking, if it's the case. If you have a bolter, whoever you are, please just put them on reins. Keep your children safe. End of story.

I use them occasionally on my 2 year old when my back's sore as I have to stoop less. They've been a godsend in the past few weeks when I've had tennis elbow and her pulling on my hand even gently is agony.

I really couldn't care less what anyone else thinks.

I used a wrist strap which is liked.We did try a harness but she loved to pirouette on one foot with me supporting her whole weight so that didn't last long.The wrist strap encouraged her to hold my hand but stopped her going off if my back was turned or using both hands for sonething

I never understood why they went out of fashion for a while. Simple but life-saving.

However, did double take at a woman with three toddlers who had wrist straps on with the other end attached to a waist belt she was wearing.

The dog had MUCH better recall than the toddler. And doesn't poo half as much. And goes to bed when you tell it to. And doesn't answer back!

Reins are non-negotiable at our house. Safety first. They've also stopped many a smashed chops when he's tripped over.

NannyOgg fashion is the operative word. They were never in fashion, they just were. Just an ubiquitous useful tool parents used to keep their little ones safe, like play pens. No one ever raised an eyebrow if parents chose to use them or indeed not to use them. I used them on one of mine, the other didn't need them. Similarly among my friends, it was you do you.

Then along came the extreme child-led parenting types wanting to foster the illusion of allowing their children total freedom and autonomy in all aspects of development. I have no problem if some parents want to practise that kind of parenting but when they, through a mixture of condescension and condemnation, try and impose it on all other parents that's when I have an issue. Reins are not leashes and playpens are not baby jails: don't let anyone tell you you're doing wrong in wanting to keep your child safe.

Both my DS were terrible bolters, hiders too. Nothing they loved more than watching me get hysterical as they hid amongst clothes rails. I had to keep a wrist strap on the eldest until he was about 5. He was nuts and would fling himself into ponds, run away and his special trick was shouting "please, help me!" as I clung on to him.

We had little rucksacks that I clipped DC in and they had reins built in. People admired them, particularly older people who said they had nothing so nice to use when they used them. No one said said anything about dogs, maybe with twins they just felt too sorry for me.

My response was always a kid is like a dog didn't you know? gotta teach them so you know they don't end up getting themselves killed..like you do a dog.
Never heard a come back to that yet!

I put my dog on a lead for her own safety. She has better recall than my kid. Is my kid's safety worth less than my dog's?

Confession: the backpacks are pricey and I can't find a harness in the particular region of Foreign where I live. I'm going to go to the cheapo pet shop and get DD a medium-size dog harness. Love the line "better a live dog than a dead child."

YANBU at all! I literally saw a toddler this morning run into a busy road while his mum was outside her house hanging up washing. She was "lucky" her child fell on the curb onto the road as 2 seconds later a car drove past. There was no way that car would have seen that toddler or been able to stop as the child ran out behind a parked car. If that child had not fallen and kept on running it would have been a completely different morning for all of us!
I was however not impressed by the death stare I got from the mum when I went up to her child and checked he was OK and put him firmly back on the pavement... I guess I was supposed to mind my own business and ignore him?
You should do what is safe and what you are comfortable with.

Anyway so what if it's treating a child "like a dog"? Dogs have to be restrained sometimes for safety. So do children. It makes sense we would use a similar tool for both.

I had to use one with ds. You could blink and he would be gone. I once lost him in a store when he was still crawling. I looked up and he was gone. I found him a few minutes later...6 rungs up a ladder....turns out ds could climb ladders before he could walk.

DD wouldn't leave my side until she was a teenager. Never needed it for her.

Never had any comment or second glance using them. Except when she lay down like a starfish and refused to move and I pulled her along (briefly) like a mop to see if she'd stand up. No one noticed or cares.

My DD would have been killed long ago if I hadn't used reins for her. Bugger what people thought, she was a bolter and used to run into traffic.

ignore the nosy bitches, i used a harness on both my kids, and most comments i got were positive ( especially when there were far more rambunctious kids racing about in an uncontrolled manner)
the harness is a practical way to avoid kids running off and being lost or squished by a bus, those little buggers have a turbo boost when they slip the hand!