Treating child on a harness, like a dog???

[Damnivy]

So keep my 2 year old on a child harness if we are out and about. She doesn't like using a pram anymore. And loves to run off, or finds something she likes the look of and just stops moving! I have 4dcs and only had to use them with my youngest.
I have a 3 year old too and makes it hard when the youngest runs off as have to grab the 3 year old before I can go after her, as can't leave either unattended.
So the harness is safe and practical. Dd walks brilliantly whilst on the harness with no complaint.
So today while in town, a lady starts smiling at dd and saying hello! Innocent enough! But then walks over and tells me what a sweet child dd is, but she can't help but feel sorry for her being 'tied up'. And I should stop treating her like a dog!!!! Iv had a few people say in the past that they wouldn't use a harness as they feel like they are walking a dog ect..
So AIBU in using this as a safety precaution while trying to teach my dd road safety and to stop running off, or do I look as though I should be walking a dog? Did you use them/won't use them, or have any ideas of how to stop my child running off?

I don't particularly like using them, but DS is a runner and really quick. Better the reins than him getting run over.

Oh my gosh.. I'm sure the nosey woman, would also be telling you to 'get your kid under control' if she was running around like mad. Two children under 3.. one on reigns... I think it's sensible 😀

Yah, just realised you’ve got two under three

Fuck that woman

I had reins as a child. I loved it and pretended I was a horse.

My dd also tried sitting down. Or lying down in puddles. The first time, I had to stand there for 20 minutes until she realised I meant what I said, and she got up and took my hand. The second time, not quite so long. Took about 3 weeks in all to get her "trained". I had to mean it, if she didn't walk we couldn't go, and if she didn't wear reins there was a chance she'd bolt. She was an occasional bolter. Would catch me unawares, and I wasn't quick or strong enough to risk it.

"yes far better to risk her suddenly bolting and being hit by a car"

I often use reigns for 18 month old DD. She's fine with them, they're safe and they're practical. I had no idea anyone had any issues with them! How silly.

My sister was on the receiving end of people's ignorant judgements when she used harnesses for her triplets! Not sure what world these overcritical fools live in.

I don’t use them and have two toddler close in age BUT my eldest is a very sensible sort. If I needed to, I probably would change my mind. It’s ultimately a safety issue. If you feel you can’t keep them safe without it, then you’ve made that judgement. It’s not for me to tell you I don’t like them when I don’t have your children! Sooo she was BU.

Safety first, it is better having an alive child, than a dead one. I find it easier with reins, than holding hand, where it could slip away, or i need to pay in the shop and need my hands free.

Ive used them since DD was walking well enough to be walking on the pavement with me and still use them now (2.9 yrs). They're one of my vital toddler things! I still insist she holds my hand crossing the road but it's extra security as it's very very easy for a tiny hand to slip out of yours.

It's also far more comfortable for her when tiny as holding her hand meant her arm had to be almost upright above her head. I also use the reins in the supermarket so that she doesn't get under everybody's feet.

YANBU. I used one of the backpack things with DD until she was 2 (and learned to undo it - bugger!).

Mostly I received very positive comments on it, e.g. a very kind security guard in a shopping centre saying it was lovely to see a toddler being allowed to explore her environment whilst being kept safe.

I overheard one older man harrumphing "that child's on a lead!!" . His wife said, in a very dry tone, "yes, dear, they're a marvellous idea. Small children can run quite fast, you know" (I could probably guess who did all the hands-on parenting when their kids were little!).

Reins are far less ‘mean’ or ‘cruel’ than forcing a child to hold their hand high and keep hold of an adults hand the whole time. On s training course I was on once they had everyone hold their hand at shoulder level for 30 mins (elbow bent so just the hand up) and it’s incredibky uncomfortable after a while, and the woman running the course just said “and there’s why many children get grumpy about holding hands for long periods”. Made me totally re-think things.

“She’s not tied up, she’s wearing reins, she won’t be wearing them for long and they look nicer than a coffin. Have you thought about styling your hair differently?”

My 2.5 year old wears them. He used to be in a sling but he prefers to walk. They're necessary as he is a runner AND that child who does piroettes or drops to the floor when you hold his hand (Though getting better). I also have bad knees. My older two would stick to me like glue and my knees had 15 years less wear!
If you as a parent feel they're necessary, then you are probably right. Anyone dicking about questioning a decision made by a parent for their child's safety is just a basic interfering busy body with crap social skills.

I don’t use on my two year old anymore but she is very good at stopping for me and I only gave her.

This thread have reminded me to dig them out for the airport tomorrow.

The nursery nurse was doing DD two year check last week and she was promoting the use of reigns.

Ds2 has autism and learning disabilities , hes actually very good at holding hands , but lots of children at his special school are not so they use wrist straps with some children its better that then dead or seriusly injured.

Ignore everyone else and do what is best for you and your family.

We use reins occasionally if we're going somewhere busy. They're good for safety and give them independence to use both their hands instead of having to hold hands with a parent.

Don't give a Monkeys what anyone else thinks as it works for us.

Pfft, I used reins on DS1 - I had DS2 in a buggy, so couldn’t keep hold of him if he played up, but could loop my arm through his reins so he was safe.

My mum gave me the “treating kids like dogs” bull, but as I pointed out to her, she has always driven everywhere and we lived in quiet country lanes - whereas we walk/bus everywhere and live next to some very busy roads.

I had to look after a two year old in ITU, many years ago, whose mum didn’t use reins. They were on the pavement, holding hands, and he suddenly just let go and dashed into the road. He was hit by a car, suffered multiple fractures, head injury, brain damage and became blind.
THAT’S the potential price for not harnessing your toddler.
Still think it’s worth it?

YANBU. Apart from traffic, remember James Bulger? My first thought when that happened was, "Why wasn't he on reins?" My eldest was the same age, so it really hit home.

Some people have no idea. I have twins who are almost two, no sense of danger, don’t respond to instruction, one has neurological damage, won’t hold hands - reins mean I can keep them safe and let them work rather than keep them strapped into a buggy.

My DS wore them for about 6 months when he was 2 and could run fast but had no common sense at all. I found them incredibly useful.

But I grew to dread random strangers approaching me to give me their thoughts (which were 50% "that's child abuse" and 50% "where can I buy a pair of those). They've been around for decades, but it's as if people are still seeing them for the first time!

I used them with my twins it was the only way I could get anywhere!

My mum was looking after them one day and couldnt find the reins, rather ingeniously she hooked a dog lead onto each of them. Worked a treat.

I think they’re fantastic. They saved DS from many grazed knee when he was a toddler and kept him safe.

Amongst the parents I knew, those who looked askance at reins were mostly those who kept their kids strapped in pushchairs until they were 3 or 4.