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Original poster

DP ex stops him seeing his son

276 replies

stressedcatt · 11/09/2018 12:53

Hello, hopefully this won't be long but we are in dire need of some advice.
My DP has a 4yr old son who he hasn't managed to see for over a year.
We've been to a solicitor but there wasn't much help they could provide. Ex has moved house, changed number, blocked us on FB, don't have any contact details for other family members. What on earth are we supposed to do?? He's painfully aware this could be the 2nd Christmas without seeing his boy. He could be dead and we wouldn't know?! What can we do wise MN!

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 11/09/2018 14:16

Sorry can't help as I don't do Scots law. Solicitor should be able to tell you what forms to file though.

HebeJeeby · 11/09/2018 14:16

Stressed at my message was to AlleyGee not you.

Nicknacky · 11/09/2018 14:17

Has he spoken to his sons nursery? In not sure how much they will tell him but if I was a father desperate to find my son I would be asking them questions.

Doesn’t sound like he has been very proactive!!

Original poster
stressedcatt · 11/09/2018 14:18

He doesn't know what nursery he is at as she moved and pulled the little boy out of nursery

OP posts:
Snappedandfarted2018 · 11/09/2018 14:18

No one just empty’s there house carpets included and flees. It sounds like this woman is very frightened to leave so quickly. It’s not as if you live together and been witness to anything.

Nicknacky · 11/09/2018 14:18

Yes, has he went to his sons previous nursery? That’s the one I was meaning.

notapizzaeater · 11/09/2018 14:19

Police don't normally get involved for a Wee scuffle.

Original poster
stressedcatt · 11/09/2018 14:20

Yeah that's how we knew he was taken out of nursery
They didn't have any forwarding details
And when she put him into the nursery it was done under her name with her partner as dad so they wouldn't say anything

OP posts:
AlleyG · 11/09/2018 14:22

All I know is he went to collect the little boy one day and exes new partner and mine had a wee scuffle

Sounds about right. As I said, I would be very cautious with this man.

Snappedandfarted2018 · 11/09/2018 14:23

How long you been together op? She sounds genuinely frightened no one just leaves where they are living, their child’s nursery, their job unless they are extremely scared. The fact she wanted to get the police involved in case he came never her suggests there’s more to this business and the fact your not A) disclosing what happened or B) you don’t know is very concerning.

Nicknacky · 11/09/2018 14:23

Have you ever went to the police and submitted a domestic violence disclosure request?

Original poster
stressedcatt · 11/09/2018 14:23

It was after the Cuffle that she started phoning them
She claimed she was affaird that he wouldn't bring DS hone
We have been together 19 months
I have already Googled his name to see if any news reports came up incase he had done anything bad to her in the past but doesn't show anything

OP posts:
Pandamodium · 11/09/2018 14:24

Wee scuffle my arse.

I'm the crazy heartless bitch. Except I'm not, my DD's father is massively abusive, I don't allow contact because he has threatened to kill her to get back at me for leaving.

By all accounts his new partner thinks he is a saint.

Littlechocola · 11/09/2018 14:24

Are you not bothered by the ‘wee scuffle’ ? Do you not want to know more?

Nicknacky · 11/09/2018 14:24

Googling doesn’t show every conviction!

Snappedandfarted2018 · 11/09/2018 14:26

So you been together less than year when this happened? You don’t live together so your not involved in any the day to day life of your dp. It maybe possible she’s been a victim of DV and not reported him hence why she has relocated rather quickly it may not be however there’s definitely a red flag there and also that he’s not so forth coming with what “bussiness” actually went on.

theWarOnPeace · 11/09/2018 14:26

Sorry to be harsh, but how can he not afford court when he hasn’t had to spend money on his child for the last year? It’s not cheap, but it should be realistic for someone not having to also pay maintenance. The “business” really could have something to do with all of this. If you don’t know exactly what happened, then ask and find out. If he won’t tell you, well then that’s another form of an answer.

Original poster
stressedcatt · 11/09/2018 14:26

It was her partner who started on mine
She's not moved too far away as we see her in the town but she never has the little boy with him.
I haven't done that nicky no but I genuinely do not think he is capable of that. I know every woman must say that but really do mean it.
I've witnessed them handing over the little boy before and nothing ever happened.
We were even at his 3rd birthday party, she was welcoming to us and DP family Confused

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 11/09/2018 14:26

There is more to.the story on both sides
But he can file in court
The truth will out

Original poster
stressedcatt · 11/09/2018 14:28

He can't afford it as he isn't currently working

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 11/09/2018 14:28

Has he told you it was her partner that started on him?

Snappedandfarted2018 · 11/09/2018 14:28

But you don’t live with him so you can’t around during all interactions., her dp might have been protecting his gf? You need to find out what actually happened.

theWarOnPeace · 11/09/2018 14:30

I mean, he sounds delightful Hmm
You’ve seen her in town? So she hasn’t actually disappeared then, has anyone approached her and said “I want to see my child”?

CrochetBelle · 11/09/2018 14:31

What do you mean about not having a strong enough case for legal aid?

Original poster
stressedcatt · 11/09/2018 14:31

Yeah he told me but my DP was with a friend when it happened
Her new DP is a big muscly guy so I can actually see that happening (my DP was beat up years ago and has a metal plate in his eye from it so wouldn't start a fight)
Admittedly no I didn't witness every interactions but three nights a week I'd be there to collect or when she dropped him off, they'd banter laugh and hug.

OP posts:
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