To have told a woman with her kids to mind her own business

[Woolythoughts]

Travelling on a train, sat at a table of four seats. Opposite me was a woman with one of her kids and her other one was next to me. Once next to her was a toddler and the one next to me probably about 6/7.

I was happily sitting there watching a box set on the ipad with head phones in. US drama with bits of violence (guns, shooting, fights etc) and a bit of sex (Homeland for those who know it).

She asked me if I could turn it off as it was unsuitable for her son sitting next to me to watch it. I think he'd been watching the screen and made some comment to his mother from what I could gather when I took my headphones out.

Told her not a chance as it was not my problem.

Then, about 20 minutes left to go, was killing time playing candy crush - again with head phones on.

This time she asked me not to as her kids wanted to play it and she didn't allow it and it would upset them.

At that point I politely suggested she pay more attention to what her kids were doing and less to what I was doing and I'd do what I wanted.

She seemed to think I should modify my behaviour because of her parenting choices.

You're obviously lying about the second bit, candy crush bit didn't happen.
YABU about first one, so weird that you would expose a child to sex and violence, ew.

I don’t think you’re BU about any of it. If you were using an iPad then it’s easy to hold it in a postition where a 7 year old can’t see the screen. The 7 year old should also not be staring at your screen constantly. What if you were having a private text conversation or sending sensitive emails? I know it’s a child but we’re still entitled to some privacy RE our electronic devices. If it were an elderly couple would it be acceptable for them to stare at your tablet? The mother should be disciplining him on this. They should be occupied so not to stare at other people’s stuff or invade their space. Why didn’t they have a book, magazine or their own tablet? Can’t just take a child on a train and expect them to sit and stare patiently. If the child couldn’t really see the screen which I believe would have been true considering the brightness of daylight/artificial lights on the train and the reflectiveness of the iPad screen. If I had been in that position I would have asked them if they’re going pay for my journey then if want to dictate to me how to spend it. People are so damn precious. Yes it’s a small child but she wasn’t shoving the screen in his face or actually allowing him to watch it and it’s not like OP was watching hardcore porn. I’m pretty sure most children under the age of 16 will have seen bits of adult TV shows their parents are watching. It’s just plain rude to stare at people’s device screens, child or not.

An iPad on a table in front of a child isn’t a private screen though. And I wouldn’t want my 6yo viewing fucking even with the sound off. Are there really people on here who think that’s fine?

I wouldnt have watched a show like that while next to a child.

I also presume they can read? What if you were typing vulgar words for whatever reason and he read some out loud? Shouldn’t be looking at your device

“She seemed to think I should modify my behaviour because of her parenting choices.”

Have you got children? Not letting 6 year old watch 18s isn’t a matter of individual parental choice. It’s a safeguarding issue.

You were out of order.

But then again I’m not a d%$!

@whosafraidofabigduckfart

Please don't use that language when posting. My 8 year old is in the room with me and might glance at the screen.

And if the op had the screen angled so the child couldn’t see it then the child wouldn’t have been able to tell their mum what was on the screen.

The film isn't suitable to watch in a public space and it doesn't matter who is sitting next to you.

An iPad on a table in front of a child isn’t a private screen though. And I wouldn’t want my 6yo viewing fucking even with the sound off. Are there really people on here who think that’s fine?

it is private though isn't it, nobody is forcing the child to a) sit there b) watch it. If I was Op I would probably just turn the screen a bit so nobody else could see it. she is not playing it for others to watch.

if you don't want your 6yo watching it, then you sit there instead. its not hard is it?

its fine to watch something like that with earphones imo. youre not making anyone else watch it.

mine were a right pain in the arse sat together when one was a toddler and one was primary age

all those saying well the mum should have swapped seats with the 6 yo - that is exactly what I would have done after op's salty unhelpful response and boy would she have regretted it

If it was on the desk then just pick it up so they can’t see it. Simple. It’s really a non issue on the mother’s part. She was being precious, entitled and probably jealous that she didn’t have her own tablet in that moment.

YANBU. So many entitled people out there.

How many people have gone into a pub where the TV is on and found that they can't help looking at the screen even if it is something boring like football or horse racing?

There is something about a screen that makes it difficult to never look at it, especially if it is if you are sitting next to someone with a screen on a train. It is so unrealistic to expect a 6 year old to never look.

I know it’s a child but we’re still entitled to some privacy RE our electronic devices.What if you were having a private text conversation or sending sensitive emails?

You can't expect privacy in a public place! If you were holding the iPad up so he couldn't see it and he leaned over to look that would be the mother's fault but if you put it on a shared table obviously other people are going to see!

Well Aus it’s your responsibility to keep your phone away from our child if you are posting on a forum like this which allows swearing and is very sweary.
Totally different to someone unexpectedly putting sex scenes on an iPad in front of your child! Since exposing children to sexual material is illegal the mother should be able to reasonably expect people not to do it and be well within their rights to be angry if they do!
I’m assuming you wouldn’t sit on the sofa next to your child with an iPad on the coffee table with adult material on and the sound off and expect them to just look away!

ThreeAnkleBiters I honestly wouldn’t get worked up over what someone else was watching on a train. Chances are I wouldn’t notice. That’s probably very unusual, I realise that, I just would never think I had the right to police what other people are watching unless it was causing a disturbance.

My point about everything needing to be child centric is that sometimes children have to learn that adults are allowed to do things and make decisions that they aren’t. It’s a life lesson that will never be learned if every single public area is sanitised in case there are kids around.

flamingofridays

Sorry you're totally wrong. An iPad on a shared table just isn't a private space. It's so obvious I'm surprised it even needs saying. Public transport is a public place -a 6 year old isn't going to be able to constantly avert their eyes and you shouldn't have to avert your eyes in public. It wasn't like he was leaning over into OP's space she put it on the table!

Children do have the right in law not to be exposed to sexual material though. If the mum had decided to report it to the police the op could have found herself in a lot of trouble. She knew the child could see what she was watching.

Sorry you're totally wrong. An iPad on a shared table just isn't a private space. It's so obvious I'm surprised it even needs saying. Public transport is a public place -a 6 year old isn't going to be able to constantly avert their eyes and you shouldn't have to avert your eyes in public. It wasn't like he was leaning over into OP's space she put it on the table!

i'm wrong in your opinion.

op wasn't doing anything wrong, if the parent didn't like it she could have moved