To have told a woman with her kids to mind her own business

[Woolythoughts]

Travelling on a train, sat at a table of four seats. Opposite me was a woman with one of her kids and her other one was next to me. Once next to her was a toddler and the one next to me probably about 6/7.

I was happily sitting there watching a box set on the ipad with head phones in. US drama with bits of violence (guns, shooting, fights etc) and a bit of sex (Homeland for those who know it).

She asked me if I could turn it off as it was unsuitable for her son sitting next to me to watch it. I think he'd been watching the screen and made some comment to his mother from what I could gather when I took my headphones out.

Told her not a chance as it was not my problem.

Then, about 20 minutes left to go, was killing time playing candy crush - again with head phones on.

This time she asked me not to as her kids wanted to play it and she didn't allow it and it would upset them.

At that point I politely suggested she pay more attention to what her kids were doing and less to what I was doing and I'd do what I wanted.

She seemed to think I should modify my behaviour because of her parenting choices.

I was being flippant, yes. I honestly don’t know what I would do though if a polite reminder that public transport wasn’t really the place to watch adult rated content was met with the headphones being pulled out.

I’d have to use some real life bravado then, eh? I’m more shocked you’d unplug your headphones in a petulant manner! Or is that a bit of MN bravado? You “gobbing off”..

I’d have to use some real life bravado then, eh? I’m more shocked you’d unplug your headphones in a petulant manner! Or is that a bit of MN bravado? You “gobbing off”

You’re not reading my posts. Kindly point out where I said I’d do that? Maybe I should copy and paste my comment where I said I don’t watch things on public transport?

Do try reading comments before you gob off won’t you dear?

I've already said upthread that I thought the parent was BU. I think the OP was as well.

We have no reason to think OP wouldn’t have complied

My take on everything the OP has said strongly indicates that she wouldn't...

I don't think either adult behaved well frankly. The blaming of the 6 year old and the suggestions that he will grow up to be an entitled little shit/selfish arsehole from various posters are fairly unpleasant though.

She wouldn’t tilt it due to sun then on her screen

Actually, she did tilt it away, just not completely because of the sun on the screen. Interesting that you got that statement from that comment though.

I don't think either adult behaved well frankly. The blaming of the 6 year old and the suggestions that he will grow up to be an entitled little shit/selfish arsehole from various posters are fairly unpleasant though

I haven’t blamed the child. I do think that parents who have that kind of attitude raise children who become arseholes as adults though.

For those saying they’d unplug the headphones and/or put something worse on, I’d match your petulance and smash your screen

My first comment.

So you’d advocate criminal damage and assault (because to get my phone off me you’d have to assault me) rather than just telling your kid not to look?

Your response. You answered in turn. Do keep up dear.

If you tried to take my phone from me, I would react aggressively, as I would be entitled to do in law.

All the people adamant that the mother did no wrong, are so utterly determined that the entire world should bend to fit their children. That is not only wholly unrealistic, it’s also not helpful for children.

Children who grow up having their every whim fulfilled and never learn manners, tolerance, cooperation and courtesy are going to find adult life really bloody difficult. That’s not an insult, it’s a statement of fact.

Parents who indulge their children in this way and teach them they are the centre of the universe are failing as parents.

Children who grow up having their every whim fulfilled and never learn manners, tolerance, cooperation and courtesy are going to find adult life really bloody difficult. That’s not an insult, it’s a statement of fact.

Parents who indulge their children in this way and teach them they are the centre of the universe are failing as parents.

Because the mother asked someone to change inappropriate content on a screen in plain view for anyone including her child?

Are you afraid these children turn into the OP?

Children who grow up having their every whim fulfilled and never learn manners, tolerance, cooperation and courtesy are going to find adult life really bloody difficult.

So the answer is to let them have a gawp at all manner of adult content to get them used to it? How odd.

Because the mother asked someone to change inappropriate content on a screen in plain view for anyone including her child?

She didn’t though, she asked her to turn it off instead of tilting it and made no effort to stop her child watching.

That’s the issue most seem to have completely missed in their frothing to insist that the child should have been catered to. There was another option, just not one the parent chose to take.

So the answer is to let them have a gawp at all manner of adult content to get them used to it? How odd.

Er no, how odd that you extrapolated that from my comment, very strange indeed.

It’s a prime opportunity to teach your child not to nose at what other people are doing and find something else to occupy them though.

You know, parenting.

They’re children, they’ll look. The onus is on an adult to make sure children aren’t exposed to inappropriate content, especially out in public.

You’re really struggling with that aren’t you, oddly.

are so utterly determined that the entire world should bend to fit their children. That is not only wholly unrealistic, it’s also not helpful for children. Children who grow up having their every whim fulfilled and never learn manners, tolerance, cooperation and courtesy are going to find adult life really bloody difficult. That’s not an insult, it’s a statement of fact

This is getting bizarre. You literally have no idea about what kind of parent this woman is. You have no idea if there any other factors at play with her child. You are judging a snapshot of her trying to do what she thought was right in that moment.

You want children to grow up with 'tolerance, cooperation and courtesy,' and yet the OP showed none of these. Her right to do what she wanted took precedence over those admirable attributes.

Let's not forget that the OP will have presented herself in the best possible light in the way she told her side of the story.
And she still sounds entitled and inconsiderate.

Children who grow up having their every whim fulfilled and never learn manners, tolerance, cooperation and courtesy are going to find adult life really bloody difficult. That’s not an insult, it’s a statement of fact

Well that is certainly how OP seems to have grown up but, for some reason, you are defending her! Why?

weird i have kids and it never would have occurred to me to ask someone to not watch something in front of my kids, i would have moved the child if i thought it was bad enough, if im doing my job right my kids would have been occupied by their own books or screens and not remotely interested in whats happening around them... and you know it was in the news a few weeks back of someone filming a couple having actually full on sex on a plane in front of all who were near enough to see, there is always worse out there and seeing a few glimpses of a tv show wont corrupt them totally just yet... guess the saving grace is that you didn't say " the fuck i will????!!!" the woman might have choked herself with her own pearls :O

if im doing my job right my kids would have been occupied by their own books or screens and not remotely interested in whats happening around them

Again, the OP's version is a snapshot of someone's life. Who knows, the 6 year old may have just worked his way through a stack of books. Maybe he can't read. There are lots of variables.

I'm not sure that I want to encourage my DC to be 'not remotely interested in what's happening around them,' to be honest. I'm not sure any 6 year old that I even know ever stops being interested in what's going on around them!

It would never occur to me to expect other people to modify what they were watching to accommodate my kids. If the OP had bought their seat and did not have the sound up I could not care what they were watching. If my child was sat next to them and had no option but to look at the screen and would not avert their eyes and play with something else then they would be disciplined pretty sharply. People need to realise life does not revolve around their kids. Or don't travel with them on public transport.