To have told a woman with her kids to mind her own business

[Woolythoughts]

Travelling on a train, sat at a table of four seats. Opposite me was a woman with one of her kids and her other one was next to me. Once next to her was a toddler and the one next to me probably about 6/7.

I was happily sitting there watching a box set on the ipad with head phones in. US drama with bits of violence (guns, shooting, fights etc) and a bit of sex (Homeland for those who know it).

She asked me if I could turn it off as it was unsuitable for her son sitting next to me to watch it. I think he'd been watching the screen and made some comment to his mother from what I could gather when I took my headphones out.

Told her not a chance as it was not my problem.

Then, about 20 minutes left to go, was killing time playing candy crush - again with head phones on.

This time she asked me not to as her kids wanted to play it and she didn't allow it and it would upset them.

At that point I politely suggested she pay more attention to what her kids were doing and less to what I was doing and I'd do what I wanted.

She seemed to think I should modify my behaviour because of her parenting choices.

I have turned a film off on a flight with similar genre when I noticed a child in the aisle also watching, I probably would have but you don’t have to, and Candy crush what?! That’s a bit indulgent of her, what a cheek!

In her position I wouldn’t have said anything but would have swapped seats with my child.

Exactly, or - even more unlikely - actually entertain her own fucking children.

Leesa65 Because an adult is a grown up who can modify their own behaviour a lot easier than a child.
A child will look around themselves and we all know the allure of screens at any age. It's why adults end up watching children's TV.

The first one was a dick move on your behalf, part and parcel of being in public is not doing things that expose other members of the public to unsuitable things.

Second one was a dick move on her behalf

So what had she provided for her kid to do on the journey to pass the time? A book? Pens and paper? A tablet with approved games or cartoons to watch?

I think it was unreasonable of you to watch that sort of thing with a child sat next to you. How difficult would it have been to have angled your screen FFS. You just wanted to make a point. I agree with others that you were a dick.

Second one of course you were not unreasonable. Not your job to entertain her children.

I wasn't trying to make a point, I was mid season and wanted to watch it.

I did angle it away but the screen was still visible (12.9 inch ipad). If I'd angled it anymore, I wouldnt have been able to see it due to the sunlight reflection.

Kids had crayons and books and their own screens.

YANBU. You were watching a TV show, not hardcore porn or Saw. I would simply angle my screen away as much as possible.

Call South Yorkshire Police on her.

I’m a little bit torn, it’s not great to be watching something with sec and violence where a small child can see the screen, so you were a bit U.

But she could have swapped so she was sitting next to you.

You were mainly U for booking a table seat when you were traveling on your own, leave those for groups of families and friends.

"In her position I wouldn’t have said anything but would have swapped seats with my child.
In your position I’d have angled the screen away/changed programme as soon as the child sat down."

This ^^

Why couldn't you have tilted the screen so the child couldn't watch?

Going to shops for popcorn.

Can you grab me some ‘sweet’n’salty’ please.

YABU to watch something like that with a kid sat next to you. We watch that at home after our kids have gone to bed. Couldn’t you have moved?

The candy crush thing is obviously ridiculous. Do you add that so that more of us would think it was her not you that was BU? That didn’t work I’m afraid.

The candy crush thing is ludicrous, of course you could do that.

However, you should refrain from watching violent or explicit content on screens in public places unless you have got a seating/screen arrangement where you can be 100% sure nobody is going to see the screen. It's not a question of "people shouldn't look, then"--if a man was looking at porn (for example) I would have a problem with that. It's inappropriate behavior.

Hmm playing violence and sex scenes on an ipad in public transport where a small child had little choice but to see it is probably illegal (outraging public decency?), so yes you were BVU there.Candy crush obviously fine I just guess the mum had had enough of you and your bloody ipad by then by then (if this is true)

I can't even watch that kind of thing in public, let alone with a child next to me. Sorry, I think you could have been more accommodating.

The candy crush thing is ridiculous though

YABU, I mean, how dare you not take into account and obey the commands of a stranger and her precious children? Also, you should've let the kid play your Candy Crush. (#sarcasm).

I agree that perhaps you should have switched the first one off, but candy crush Is ridiculous,

@serbska I've never been asked to choose a specific seat when reserving, you just say you want a reserved seat and the system allocates one. So it's hardly the OPs fault that she was allocated a table seat.

OP, you were definitely being unreasonable. As you said, the mother provided entertainment for the child, but your iPad was so visible that the child could see and watch a highly unsuitable program from their seat, which is going to be distracting. The fact that you wanted to continue your series is irrelevant, you can do that after they get off or at home, it's inappropriate viewing for children and therefore you should make sure they can't see it or turn it off. The mother asked nicely.

Agree with pp. First one - you were a twat. Second one - she was.

I’ve only seen the first couple of seasons of Homeland but it’s not that bad is it? I could understand if it was Game of Thrones but from what I recall there’s plenty of non-violent or sexual bits.

I would have kept watching but skipped over the unsuitable bits. The child isn’t your responsibility, no, but it would have been considerate.

I rarely book table seats as a solo traveller to reduce the chances I get stuck with a bunch of children.

I would have been furious. How dare someone feel it's appropriate to moderate a strangers free time so their precious child doesn't see. She should have either moved the child or told it off for looking.

I think it's unreasonable to expect a child to be able to permanently avert their eyes from a screen that is right next to them. (I wouldn't like it if someone was watching a porno on the train next to me even though technically I could just not look).