To have told a woman with her kids to mind her own business

[Woolythoughts]

Travelling on a train, sat at a table of four seats. Opposite me was a woman with one of her kids and her other one was next to me. Once next to her was a toddler and the one next to me probably about 6/7.

I was happily sitting there watching a box set on the ipad with head phones in. US drama with bits of violence (guns, shooting, fights etc) and a bit of sex (Homeland for those who know it).

She asked me if I could turn it off as it was unsuitable for her son sitting next to me to watch it. I think he'd been watching the screen and made some comment to his mother from what I could gather when I took my headphones out.

Told her not a chance as it was not my problem.

Then, about 20 minutes left to go, was killing time playing candy crush - again with head phones on.

This time she asked me not to as her kids wanted to play it and she didn't allow it and it would upset them.

At that point I politely suggested she pay more attention to what her kids were doing and less to what I was doing and I'd do what I wanted.

She seemed to think I should modify my behaviour because of her parenting choices.

Assuming there was a reason she couldn't switch places etc then YABU for the first one, she was being ridiculously entitled the second thing.

Every single person saying the kid was "staring" or "looking over her shoulder" is either not reading the OP's posts properly, dislikes children generally or stubbornly hates the idea that a little social conscious would make the world a better place.

THIS IS THE SCENARIO DESCRIBED:

OP sits next to child with the ipad propped up on the table in front lap-top style - this is confirmed. The child does not need to stare. the child does not need to look over OP's shoulder!.

It is LITERALLY in his field of vision unless he stares forward.

As to the content. OP has said it's the first episode right. Let's take an example from that. Oh, there could be lots of 'boring' stuff going on for a while. Doubt the kid even wants to look. Then, suddenly, out of the corner of his eye:

"he throws her on the bed and has violent sex with her, leaving her scared and crying afterwards"

Nothing has happened up to this point to suggest there was anything amiss. No reason for the mum to be on alert. Then BANM - nice rapey imagery on display to the kid, who does not have to be nosey AT ALL to witness it.

You are NOT obliged to consider kids, you CAN just watch what you want - but it's an attitude that leads to a shittier, more miserable world the more people think that way.

(All that said, I'd still just move my kid instead of saying anything, doesn't mean I agree with the OP's attitude.)

Mum should have been watching her own kid instead of ditching them on a total stranger.

Wait... sitting across a table is ditching a child?
Well, call the SS on me. And most of us?

Lweji it’s not miles away, you can interact with your child from across the aisle you know. Rather than expecting someone to turn off what they’re watching because you’re too lazy/disinterested to make sure your child isn’t rudely watching over someone’s shoulder.

Some people take the expression “it takes a village” way too literally.

Again, on table. No need to look over shoulder... Just there for anyone to watch. Including the mother, it seems.

I’m shocked at the number of posters saying they wouldn’t censor what they’re watching on public transport, especially in view of children!

For those saying they’d unplug the headphones and/or put something worse on, I’d match your petulance and smash your screen

I suspect the candy crush was to wind me up even further after I refused to stop watching.

Nah that doesn't make sense.

If you request someone reasonable and the other person refuses, you don't then randomly request something ridiculous, because you'd just make the reasonable request look silly too

Including the mother, it seems

And yet her first response is to expect an adult stranger to stop what they’re doing, rather than distract her child/occupy them with something else. Hence her being (rightly) called entitled.

Nobody’s saying the child should have been able to watch it, but the mother had her priorities all wrong in dealing with it.

For those saying they’d unplug the headphones and/or put something worse on, I’d match your petulance and smash your screen

So you’d advocate criminal damage and assault (because to get my phone off me you’d have to assault me) rather than just telling your kid not to look?

Absolutely fucking batshit.

I would, yes, if you started acting like a brat and purposely unplugged the headphones. We can all play that game

Here’s a plan Ronnie, why wouldn’t you deal with your child instead of getting shitty with strangers?

And believe me, you wouldn’t. I don’t watch stuff on my phone, mostly because I’m rarely on my own, but if some jumped up entitled twat got shitty with me and then tried to damage my property rather than actually parent, there would be a riot.

CPS advice on “reasonable force” in self defence.

Not only would you find yourself in a spot of bother on said train, you’d also be in trouble with the police for assault and criminal damage. Meanwhile the person you saw fit to assault and damage their property would be able to claim self defence.

I’m as quick as a cat, hen, I’d have had the screen knocked to the table before you could say “inappropriate content” then blame it on the child “I’m not bothering to parent”.

blame it on the child “I’m not bothering to parent”.

Great parenting

This is mental

@whosafraidofabigduckfart

*You’re an adult who can avert your eyes and while the poison comes out of his mouth - with headphones at least most of the damage is muted

However if I heard you using the word ‘cunt’ in front of my child you might find your headphones relocated there.*

No, you wouldn't. Stop trying to front like you're Jason Statham.
I know that you wouldn't because there aren't any news reports of women forcing headphones into stranger's orifices when they swore in front of their children.

So if a drunken stranger starts yelling obscenities in the street and your children happen to be there, you'd attack them, would you?

No, of course you wouldn't. You'd explain to your kids that the stupid man is drunk and he's saying bad words and even though it might be a bit distressing for them, you'd reassure them that most people are decent but some people are silly and should be avoided where possible.

But yes, threaten violence in response to words. That's always a good way to deal with real life situations in an adult manner.

@NewLevelsOfTiredness
Every single person saying the kid was "staring" or "looking over her shoulder" is either not reading the OP's posts properly, dislikes children generally or stubbornly hates the idea that a little social conscious would make the world a better place.

Nope. She very clearly said that she had it turned away from him as much as possible while still being able to see it herself and not having it face the outside of the train and reflections obfuscating the screen.

But yes, I obviously just dislike kids. On Mumsnet. Because that's a popular opinion.

Love the mental gymnastics going on here to justify everyone's outrage. 150 years ago, people were taking their children to public hangings. Thank god we've moved on from there but, you know, it's not like we raised a nation of sociopaths as a result. Setting children up to expect the world owes them a favour and will bow to their whims because they're special, is only doing them a huge disservice.

If children are being raised to believe the world revolves around them and their wants without them ever having to consider anyone else’s wants/needs, there’s a generation of selfish arsehole adults incoming

Well yes, quite. We have the OP already. The OP's only consideration was what she/he wanted to do and sod everyone else.

I suppose the parent could have used the OP as an example of precisely the thing you complain about and suggested to her child that they don't learn that kind of behaviour?

You are NOT obliged to consider kids, you CAN just watch what you want - but it's an attitude that leads to a shittier, more miserable world the more people think that way

This puts it well.

I’m as quick as a cat, hen, I’d have had the screen knocked to the table before you could say “inappropriate content” then blame it on the child “I’m not bothering to parent”.

Charming. Teaching your child the worst possible example at the same time.

And you’re happy with that? I sincerely hope this is some kind of MN bravado, because behaving like that in RL would be utterly atrocious.

In fact, I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t. But happy to gob off on the internet.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes we don’t know OP is an arsehole, if the Mum had said “would you mind tilting your screen so my child can’t see it at all?” We have no reason to think OP wouldn’t have complied.

Mum was an arsehole for demanding it be turned off.

Mum was an arsehole for demanding it be turned off.

The OP:
She asked me if I could turn it off as it was unsuitable for her son sitting next to me to watch it.

So, in the arsehole scale...

Where has the OP said the woman 'demanded' it be turned off?

She asked me if I could turn it off as it was unsuitable for her son sitting next to me to watch it.

X post

I agree...sounds like an arsehole response.