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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask that no one kiss my 2 months old babies on the face?

137 replies

Twinmombambi · 09/09/2018 17:17

AIBU to ask that no one kisses my 2 months old babies on the face?

We had a friend visit and he kissed one of my DD on the cheeks and i was furious. Given he is my DH good friend I thought to tell my DH so he could deal with the issue, but he seems comfortable with the kiss.

Am fuming... AIBU to think he should support my no kiss on the face rule going forward for our DDs.?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 09/09/2018 17:18

Why do you have a problem with this?

LyndorCake · 09/09/2018 17:19

Did he know you had this rule prior to this incident? I think you and your child's father need to discuss this, unfortunately it isn't only your decision

Lazypuppy · 09/09/2018 17:22

Whats wrong with kissing on the face??

MoonFacesMum · 09/09/2018 17:22

Do you and your DH kiss your DD’s face?

Why do you think this is a necessary rule?

Not being facetious, genuinely wondering.

JagerPlease · 09/09/2018 17:24

I can't ever see what the issue is with kissing babies unless you have something contagious, but each to their own.

However, if your DH is fine with it then you and he need to have a conversation rather than just expecting him to agree with you. And if you're that worked up by this, prepare to also disagree about other parenting issues in future...

IncyWincyGrownUp · 09/09/2018 17:24

Herpes can be deadly to small babies, maybe that’s a concern?

cadburyegg · 09/09/2018 17:26

Sorry I think you are being a bit precious.

Wait until your baby is crawling and putting dirt in its mouth!

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 09/09/2018 17:28

Do you actually have health concerns or are you simply one of those odd people that has kissing issues?

OneStepSideways · 09/09/2018 17:32

YANBU

We always asked people not to kiss her hands and face as a newborn (and to wash their hands before holding her or touching her). Babies under 3 months have very underveloped immune systems, viruses like the coldsore virus can be fatal in babies (transmitted by kissing)

glintandglide · 09/09/2018 17:34

Yes YABU and rude. Don’t know why you don’t ever stop and think how lucky you are to have people who care about you and your children so much

LyndorCake · 09/09/2018 17:43

OneStep so did you never kiss your baby either?
I may be wrong about this, but isn't a child's immune system not fully developed until they're 2? Isn't that why they recommend breastfeeding until then? For maximum protection?

Holidayfromreal · 09/09/2018 17:44

YABU unless they have a giant coldsore or something literally no harm will come to them from a kiss on the cheek.

Thatssomebadhatharry · 09/09/2018 17:45

I remember this neurotic stage after childbirth. It wears off and you start to become more reasonable.

OneStepSideways · 09/09/2018 17:49

Personally I find it odd that anyone WOULD kiss a tiny baby's face and risk passing on viruses. Even if you feel well you could be coming down with norovirus/flu/cold/tonsillitis just be in the non symptomatic (yet highly contagious) phase. Babies can die from viruses that adults shake off easily. It's just common sense not to risk it when they're so young.

DonnaDarko · 09/09/2018 17:51

Where would you prefer them to kiss your baby? Lol.

TidyDancer · 09/09/2018 18:01

Furious is a slight overreaction. I remember what it's like to have a new baby though, you worry about lots of things disproportionately, we've all been there.

OneStepSideways · 09/09/2018 18:01

OneStep so did you never kiss your baby either?
I may be wrong about this, but isn't a child's immune system not fully developed until they're 2? Isn't that why they recommend breastfeeding until then? For maximum protection?

We didn't kiss her face in the first few months (but did of course kiss her head/feet/tummy etc). Of course you can't avoid all risk of passing on bugs, but kissing their face is the easiest way to pass them on. Along with touching your own face/blowing your nose/rubbing your eyes etc then touching the baby's face.

The immune system builds up gradually over time, babies under 3 months are more vulnerable than say a 6 month old or toddler. Breastfeeding gives some protection but only if the mother has antibodies to the virus already (eg she has the same cold).

Confusedbeetle · 09/09/2018 18:04

How are you going to stop them? Announce it before they come near, or tell them off if they do? On the mouth would be different. You are being too precious

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 09/09/2018 18:04

Maybe advise visitors you are a practicing Eskimo and they can rub noses with dc instead ?

Original poster
Twinmombambi · 09/09/2018 18:05

Honestly I think it's common sense not to kiss people's baby... better still ask the parents before diving in like it's your right to kiss. I understand our friends care for our babies but common there other ways to show affection. How about just carry the baby and babble on .... kissing shouldn't be the only way to show affection.

Yes DH and I would definitely disagree on some other parenting issues as we have different views and see things in different ways... but we agree to disagree.

I also do not think my action is a phase that comes after childbirth.. I just think personal space should be respected for my DDs and the health perspective too.

OP posts:
Lotsofsausage · 09/09/2018 18:27

I don’t know why everybody is being so sneery and unpleasant about this. A couple in my town just lost their 3 week old baby to the herpes virus. Both parents tested negative so it’s likely to have come from
Hospital staff- not even kissing just handling. They are campaigning to raise awareness now.

ButchyRestingFace · 09/09/2018 18:30

Honestly I think it's common sense not to kiss people's baby...

Why not? Are you afraid they might stick the tongue in? Confused

Moody123 · 09/09/2018 18:32

I saw an awful arrival on a little baby who died as a result of this, she caught herpes (from someone unknown as no one had a visible cold sore), YADNBU ... but be prepared for a few raise eyebrows x

AnnieAnoniMoose · 09/09/2018 18:33

‘Personal space should be respected.’ Hmm 🙄

Well, best you don’t ask for any help with your twins then. Wouldn't want anyone invading their ‘personal space’.

KIssing babies foreheads, cheeks is perfectly normal and fine. Your DH is allowed his own opinion and doesn’t have to agree with you.

goldhen · 09/09/2018 18:38

I’m not sure how I feel on this one. Makes me think about children being forced to hug/kiss people. I hated that when I was young. It’s strange that it’s acceptable to do it to babies that can’t say no. If you went up to a 10 year old and started fawning over them like some people do babies (kissing all over face, finger shoved in mouth etc) it really wouldn’t be acceptable.