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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask that no one kiss my 2 months old babies on the face?

137 replies

Twinmombambi · 09/09/2018 17:17

AIBU to ask that no one kisses my 2 months old babies on the face?

We had a friend visit and he kissed one of my DD on the cheeks and i was furious. Given he is my DH good friend I thought to tell my DH so he could deal with the issue, but he seems comfortable with the kiss.

Am fuming... AIBU to think he should support my no kiss on the face rule going forward for our DDs.?

OP posts:
keyboardkate · 09/09/2018 19:38

Twin,

I am not an animal hater, it just strikes me that the minute dogs and cats are mentioned NOT ONE person is allowed to say they are not very much in favour of having them in their own house. I am sure you will find plenty of such posts.

Dogs in beds, cats in beds, dogs shedding hairs, dogs slobbering over a baby. All fine for some!

Honestly, that's fine if the parents are happy about it. But to object to a human doing the same thing has the opposite effect apparently.

As I said, mad!

glintandglide · 09/09/2018 20:07

Goodness me. The very idea of me not kissing my own baby is ridiculous. I spent the first 3 months kissing them thousands of times a day. I wouldn’t have given that up for shit.

And yes, factually, babies can be harmed from virus’ passed by kissing. None of the drama llamas on the thread have mentioned how incredibly rare that is though have they?

heartsease68 · 09/09/2018 20:10

Goodness me. The very idea of me not kissing my own baby is ridiculous.

Er, I think you've missed the point of the thread.

TheFaerieQueene · 09/09/2018 20:13

I would prefer to kiss my dog than a baby. Other people’s children don’t appeal to me.

glintandglide · 09/09/2018 20:15

Er, no heart. PP have clearly said baby is no more immune to parents germs than anyone else’s

LyndorCake · 09/09/2018 20:24

So the majority of father's are back at work after 2 weeks so from 2 weeks old the baby is exposed to all the germs that come home with dad each day. If you ever leave the house your baby comes into contact with germs which you may not have.
So those people who think that the face is off limits but are okay with hands or feet, do you realise that babies tend to have either or in their mouth half the time?

Zoe2411 · 09/09/2018 20:33

We have a no mouth kissing policy for anyone . We may as his mommy and daddy on his lips occasionally but we can and as a rule tend to kiss our little one on the head or cheek or hand .
We both agree that requesting people don't kiss our babies mouth but could on his head etc was still allowing people to show affection without us feeling uncomfortable xx

I don't think your being unreasonable , I think your doing what makes you comfortable with your babies so no one can say whether that's right or wrong x

Rachie1973 · 09/09/2018 20:37

I kiss all my grandchildren, and godchildren, and foster children on the face.

I also let them play with snails and dirt.

heartsease68 · 09/09/2018 20:46

glintandglide

Goodness me, are we actually reading the same thread? Confused

ethelfleda · 09/09/2018 21:24

This place has really gone downhill.

glintandglide · 09/09/2018 21:43

Heart are you going to elaborate as to what the hell youre actually talking about or just waste my time with sound bites? Because you are not making any sense and if you’re going to ask me questions at least have the manners to explain WTF you’re on about

Ethylred · 09/09/2018 21:58

I'm coming round right now to kiss your children.
Warning: I'm whiskery and I slobber.

OneStepSideways · 09/09/2018 22:04

My mother was given her bottle from an empty guinness bottle with a teat pulled over the top. Not much sterilising going on there! I was given bread, butter and sugar fingers by my grandad at 7 months or something, and he never washed his hands even though he bred pigs

The infant mortality rate was far higher in those days. It was also common practice to give babies opium and brandy in their milk to make them sleep, long ago. Many survived but plenty didn't! And in the days before bottle sterilising was common practice, many babies died from gastroenteritis.

Better education and knowledge these days means people are more aware of how viruses and bacteria spread. People understand the risks better. Our mouths and noses are teaming with bacteria (mostly the helpful sort) but some of these can be fatal to a baby, whose immune system is very immature.

Herpes (cold sore virus) can be caught from someone with a coldsore that hasn't even become visible.

CherryPavlova · 09/09/2018 22:20

Entirely unreasonable. It’s almost impossible to pick up and hold a delicious tiny newborn without kissing them. Their little scrunched up necks, their tiny perfectly formed hands, their smooth downy cheeks. Just heavenly...unless they have lots of milk spots and severe cradle cap.

genivert · 09/09/2018 22:22

There is nowhere near enough general awareness of the medical issues this introduces in tiny , young babies.

Have heard of a local case of a baby dying of herpes, but they've no idea who passed it on - no obvious signs etc.

You will find it a battle OP until/if more public health awareness matures..

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 09/09/2018 22:24

I would prefer to kiss my dog than a baby. Other people’s children don’t appeal to me

Me too. As a childless person who has endured a number of babies being thrust at them and expected to cuddle, coo and yes, kiss them, I'm more than happy to stay away and cuddle, kiss and coo over my dog. Thank you.

Original poster
Twinmombambi · 09/09/2018 22:28

Ethyl Red

Lol please do... Would have litmus paper to confirmed how wasted you areSmile

OP posts:
Yabbers · 09/09/2018 22:44

Yes DH and I would definitely disagree on some other parenting issues as we have different views and see things in different ways... but we agree to disagree

Yeah good luck with that. I guess you actually mean “we’ll do it my way and he just has to live with that.

You can’t just agree to disagree when it comes to raising children, it’s not just about opinion.

BigBlueBubble · 09/09/2018 23:02

PP have clearly said baby is no more immune to parents germs than anyone else’s
I said exactly the opposite. The baby will have acquired immunity to the mother’s germs. It’s other people’s germs that pose a problem.

It’s almost impossible to pick up and hold a delicious tiny newborn without kissing them
So basically your desires override the safety of the baby and the wishes of the parents? It clearly isn’t impossible as nurses in hospital don’t kiss the babies they look after.

Original poster
Twinmombambi · 09/09/2018 23:19

BigBlueBubble**

You made a valid point... it's very possible restrain yourself from kissing other people's infants. Really would never get my head around it.

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 09/09/2018 23:57

Deaths from neonatal heroes is incredibly rare. Infant mortality from all causes sits around 0.3% with just 0.0016% of these being related to herpes. Most Erie’s infection in neonate are contracted from the mother.
Taking a baby in a car is a higher risk.

BertrandRussell · 10/09/2018 00:09

“YANBU it’s gross when people slobber on your DC. They don’t do it to other adults so not sure why they feel the need to do it to DC”

By slobber do you mean kiss?. Because I kiss a lot of other adults. 9 today that I am not related to. 4 that I am.

Aika · 10/09/2018 00:11

Where I come from we never ever kiss babies on the face until they are roughly 6mo. When I was little and over-enthusiastic about my baby cousins, I was told I could kiss their feet. So with my DCs i told my English family it ws cultural and no one complained.

DrBlof · 10/09/2018 05:40

"I just think personal space should be respected for my DDs "

Did you read the article where some nutter woman on The Internet was saying that babies should be asked before their nappies are changed. Ownership of their bodies etc? I'd bet you nod sagely along while reading this.

"I also do not think my action is a phase that comes after childbirth"

Sadly probably correct. I look forwards to your future threads. I have a feeling there'll be some classics.

Original poster
Twinmombambi · 10/09/2018 08:25

DrBlof**

As a parent you have the responsibility to protect your child and provide top notch care. Asking a child before you change their nappy is way over board however changing your child's nappy in a private room away from visitors is respecting your child's personal space. Hopefully you can understand the difference.

I will continue to ensure my child's personal space is respected to the fullest until they can continue the course.

It's a pity some parents do not have any atom of respect for their babies personal space no wonder the world is this crazy now..

OP posts:
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