To think friends reply was disgusting?

[IAmASunFlower]

Friend messaged me Monday morning to make plans to come over to mine.

That same day my grandad had been rushed into hospital unconscious and given just hours to live. All the family rushed to hospital to say goodbye.

He died and I got home at around 4pm drained and just feeling like shit. I messaged my friend to tell her what happened and that I couldn’t make tonight.

Her response was - ok.

That was it. No I’m sorry for your loss etc

Not trying to make it about me and everyone should rush to my side but surely a friend can say more than ok to you losing a family member

"a little on the spectrum"

Wtf?

fatchilli123 sending hugs, that is awful. Sometimes people just don't know what to say and feel arkward so they say nothing. Xx

Op - on the face of it it’s insensitive, but not “disgusting”. To give her the benefit of the doubt and as others have said she may have skimmed your message and not acknowledged the content. She may also be rubbish when it comes to knowing how to respond to death.

I’ve read some of the other posts and I really think some people put too much expectation on their friends in terms of feeling/responding to issues in their lives. I think a PP was expecting a friend to call her when she got back from holiday to ask about how her grandfather was. I really wouldn’t expect that from my friends. It would be nice of course, but I just acknowledge that others have their own lives

My friends cat died once and i was i the middle of a episode of pnd at the time. I know its not the same as losing your grandad but i got told off for just saying 'Ok' she is my very best friend and though i am not necessarily hers we are both on the same wavelength. She didn't have kids at the time. But , she may have her own issues, (could be anything) and being let down was the icing on the cake. She may have had a screaming kid and a dinner to cook . Or she may just be a self absorbed c*. Big hug op & i am so sorry for your loss

Perhaps your friend is a little ‘on the spectrum’ and in your distraught state you leapt to judgement.

😂
What is with posters blaming any and all inappropriate social behaviour on autism? You do know there's an actual criteria, right? And you know that social communication is only ONE impairment, right?

Strangers on this thread have taken time to say more, because it earns them brownie points on the internet. “Look at me! What a good person I am! I extend compassion to people I don’t know about the deaths of other people I don’t know! What scum anyone else is! Especially the OP's friend - let's all have Two Minutes' Hate against her!”

Oh sod off. What an unnecessarily cynical and negative perspective to have.
I am sorry for her loss. No, I don't know her, but I know what losing family members is like.
I'd hate to go through life with such a jaundiced view of the world.

Perhaps your friend is a little ‘on the spectrum’ and in your distraught state you leapt to judgement

Firstly, you can’t be “a little on the spectrum”, you’re either autistic or you’re not.

Secondly, can people please refrain from associating all kinds of shitty behaviour with autism. It shows you know hee haw buckshee about autism, and is actually really fucking snide.

Your friend probably thought you had bigger things to worry about, than anything she said.

Hey Op, hope you’re ok. Did your friend get back to you with a more sensitive response?