DD boyfriend is on the sex offenders register

[Brighton5555]

Just the title makes me feel sick.

My daughter is 16 and never had a boyfriend before. She met a young lad three months ago and told me he was 17. I was shocked because she kept him secret for the first month or so and she’s never had a boyfriend before.

I say shocked because it’s so not like her to keep things to herself but I do underdatand as her mother she’s not going to share every little detail of her life.

She had been seeing him a month when she told me about him. Then I find out he’s not 17 he’s 19. Then I find out this about him and I need advice.

She told me he is on the sex offenders register for 7 YEARS and he also has to visit a probation officer once a week during this time. She told me which is the story he told her that -

At college he got into a fight and hit someone ( I know it sounds like it’s getting worse ) and during the police investigation they searched his mobile phone where he states he had a couple of naked photos of his 17 year old girlfriend at the time. Due to her age ( I didn’t know 17 was classed as a minor ) and even though the girl agreed she sent them with her consent this is the reason my daughter tells me he is on the sec offenders register. I think she said something along the lines of a indecent image of a minor.

Something about this story just doesn’t make sense to me. I have all his details and am planning to go to my police station and just tell them what I have been told and that I’m really worried about the whole thing / is this young man a danger to children? My daughter ? Just because he says this is the reason doesn’t mean it is true.

They have been together 3 months now and this has only just come out. As much as she reassures me about the photos of a ex girlfriend and her being 17 and it ‘ not being that bad ‘ my gut tells me I think there is more to it.

Will the police think I’m overreacting?
Will they be able to at least warn me if he is considered a danger ?

I feel sick

So you can be vetted for your fitness to work with children whilst living with a convicted sex offender, and that won’t be disclosed?

Well I would certainly hope, VanGoghsDog, that no teacher, classroom assistant, guides/scouts leaders, etc, would be allowed to hold such positions if living with someone on the SOR.

VanGoghsDog, just google disqualified by association if you want information on this. Lots of sources there, including teaching and government websites.

And no, who you live with will not be recorded on a DBS check but police intelligence held on you can be disclosed at the chief police officers discretion. If someone lives with a SO then their offender manager will record their details. If your DBS is applied for child work force, say a teacher/ lunchtime assistant etc. then this could be disclosed and rightly so. It’s the final section on an enhanced DBS certificate.

It's not beyond the bounds of possibility that he is telling the truth. I have worked with people who are on the sex offenders register for doing less.

@Brighton5555 his story absolutely does not add up. I don't know if you can make an application under Claire's law? You can certainly speak to the police, I hope they were helpful to you today. You could also speak to his probation officer. They probably won't tell you anything, but you can tell them what you have been told and about this man's relationship with your daughter, and her age. Ask him (boyfriend) for his signed consent for his probation officer to go e you details of his offences? I bet he won't.

Search the court register, local paper etc?

Disqualification by association was removed as of 1st Sept 2018 apparently.

http://hub.unlock.org.uk/knowledgebase/childcare-disqualification-requirements/

The thing is is that while this had a vague potential to be true it's also the story that probably every single sex offender has told since the beginning of time to explain their convictions.

Either way he was fighting and he lied about his age, he's not someone I would want my DD dating. However there's sometimes not an awful lot you can do as a parent apart from be there for your DD. I hope the police can give you some answers

@hellotoyou then your 16yo will do it behind your back. You aren't watching them 24/7. At least the OP has a good enough relationship with her daughter so she's honest.

Hope you got some answer today op, I would be worried sick if this was my dd, I'm glad you have gone to the police station to try to get to the bottom of it all.

Alarm bells ringing. Firstly, he lied about his age - why? He is not on the sex offender's list for having a photo of a naked 17 year old, that's for sure. As long as she's 16 there's no problem in law, although, morally perhaps. Once a week for 7 years, that's 364 visits - for a photo? There's some serious shit going on here. He has lied to your DD about his age and also about what he has done - you have every right to be concerned. The police will not share information, even about sex offenders (my friend had a terrible experience which could have been avoided if only the police had shared his history with her). Your daughter thinks she knows why he has been listed but she does not. Also, he could be using aliases to hide his past so looking up his name may not yield any information.
I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. Good luck to you.

“Oh god! This is why I'm glad my DH is 6 foot 4 and built like a body builder”

What a moronic comment
Are you implying if you had a daughter in that situation it’d trump how OP is sensibly handling it?

Alarm bells ringing. Firstly, he lied about his age - why

But did he? OP says her DD told her he was 17. Then OP found out he was actually 19. Perhaps the DD lied to OP about his age?

He is not on the sex offender's list for having a photo of a naked 17 year old, that's for sure

He could be.

.As long as she's 16 there's no problem in law,

Yes there is. It has been covered so many times if you just RTFT.

The police will not share information, even about sex offenders

^

Yes they will if there is a legitimate purpose for doing so - it's called the Child Sex Offender Disclosure Scheme aka Sarah's Law. It's been mentioned several times on this thread.

I've also been thinking about you all day OP. Really hope you get some answers / help soon.

Despite the age of consent being 16 for consensual sex, it is 18 for things like pornography so if he had naked photos of a 17 year old she would be classed as underage.

Have a look at Sarah’s Law - there is a disclosure scheme for those you feel at risk.

*Oh god! This is why I'm glad my DH is 6 foot 4 and built like a body builder, no way on this earth would we let our daughter at 16 years old be allowed anywhere near this man!
Just would not happen! *

😂😂😂 Yes, because people shit themselves when they see a big bloke 😂😂😂

Nightmare situation, following and hoping for a helpful policeman's sensible advice that I can store away in case we find ourselves with a similar issue.

@Lostbeyondwords

You can hope it all you like, but I know the wife of a convicted paedophile who works with refugee children at a charity.

@hellotoyou what a twattish comment. Educate yourself.
Hope you got it sorted OP.

Did you speak to the police op?

If he's on the register for 7 years he must have received a custodial sentence of 6 months or less (this could have been suspended).

Although having pictures of a 17-year-old would constitute an indecent image of a child, it is highly unlikely in the circumstances described he would have received a custodial sentence, suspended or otherwise.

Something doesn't ring true about his story.

@HelloToYou do you generally use your husbamd’s size to resolve delicate situations? Sounds like you’ve got it down! 🙄

How did you find our he was 19 and not 17

Biggest alarm bell for me is that he has changed his name. This suggests he is worried about reprocusions for his actions. Which to me implies whatever he did is well known in local area/in media and I would bet its probally be alot worse than hes letting on too. Theres a reason hes watching his own back by changing his name.