Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - free school meals application against my wishes.

428 replies

GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 14:20

Two years ago I became eligible to claim free school meals,
I do not need the assistance so declined the offer.
The local council sent me a silly amount of letters about being entitled to claim, I phoned them and asked them to stop, explained that I didn't need to claim and asked them to make a note on my 'file' not to contact me again.
However, within a few months it started again I ignored them until I received a letter that basically said 'you are entitled to claim this so we are going to put in a claim on your behalf'
This annoyed me and I sent them a letter telling them that I do not give them permission to ever make a claim for FSMs on my behalf, that I wanted it marked on my file that I never want a claim for FSMs to be made in my name.
Someone from the council called me and apologised he said he made a note on my file and I would not be contacted again.

My DC has just started secondary school and for the second day in a row, his student account was not charged for the meal he had.
I just called the school and they have told me that his account has not been charged because he is in receipt of FSM, I told her this is a mistake and she is going to look into it and call me back.

I'm currently on hold to the council.

I'm so angry, how dare they put in a claim without my knowledge or permission and against my explicit request not to.
AIBU to be so annoyed?

I'm just posting to vent really, to try to calm down before I speak to anyone, but I'm just so angry that they can go against my wishes and put in a claim for a benefit that I do not want.

OP posts:
Satsumaeater · 05/09/2018 14:22

Why do you care? There's no stigma, nobody will know.

And the school gets extra money if there are people with FSM on its roll.

Unihorn · 05/09/2018 14:22

YANBU that would really piss me off.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 05/09/2018 14:22

Don't schools get extra cash for FSM pupils, so it benefits your child and the whole school if you claim it? Why wouldn't you?

margaurette · 05/09/2018 14:22

Seems a funny thing to be so angry about.

If you really don't need the help (and your DC isn't missing out), can you just donate the equivalent cost to charity so you're not profiting from it?

MrsPreston11 · 05/09/2018 14:23

Take the free meals!

It benefits you and the school.....

Flyme21 · 05/09/2018 14:24

Substitute Free School Meals for what this really is - Pupil Premium. £935 per year to your son's school, which will support not only him but others. Why wouldn't you?

NerrSnerr · 05/09/2018 14:24

Why wouldn't you just have the free meals. Must be a fair amount of money you'd save over the year?

SocialPiranha · 05/09/2018 14:25

The school gets extra funding for each FSM recipient that is has attending. Even if they don’t have the dinner it’s worth them “claiming” it.

Why on earth are you angry at people giving your child food?

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 05/09/2018 14:25

To be honest, I think you're silly for not accepting it if you're entitled. It's good for the school to have more children on free school dinners. Even when my eldest was entitled to school dinners under the government scheme, they still wanted me to apply on the grounds that he was eligible anyway as I was on income support at the time. The more children that are given a number for free school dinners, the better the receptionist told me as the school gets more provision.

NailsNeedDoing · 05/09/2018 14:25

If you can manage without it then that's great, but by not claiming it you are denying your schools of money they desperately need. That's why you keep being badgered about it.

niknac1 · 05/09/2018 14:26

The school will get extra funding because your child is entitled, this is a good thing, no one else needs to know.

Aridane · 05/09/2018 14:26

Oh FFS

Onedayy · 05/09/2018 14:27

A lot of parents don’t like to claim and that’s up to them. There is a stigma in some schools I’m afraid. It depends how the admin of it is organised. I worked in a school where there were separate queues and a separate ticket system for FSM pupils.

Schools encourage parents to claim as it counts towards their figures when analysing results.

MyDcAreMarvel · 05/09/2018 14:27

Well it’s pretty selfish of you, you are denying the school money to benefit not only your ds education but others.
You are always denying your ds the income that he is spending on lunch that he could benefit from in other ways. Extra activies etc.

SingleCellParamecium · 05/09/2018 14:28

Yep, just do it for the school. Our school asks people to claim it even if the kids are having packed lunches as it's extra funds for them.

annandale · 05/09/2018 14:28

I agree with you that tgey shouldn't do it if you have specifically said not to. But they really should have explained exactly how much they lose in that scenario.

RabbitsAreTasty · 05/09/2018 14:28

Schools get a bucket load of extra money for FSM children. Why wouldn't you want that?

It is called Pupil Premium now not FSM btw.

The money doesn't have to go directly on stuff for the FSM children. The school can use the money for all sorts of really helpful general things in the school.

I am a school governor. We are desperate for every extra penny we can squeeze out of the government. Please please sign up for Pupil Premium. Every little helps.

Flyme21 · 05/09/2018 14:29

School have an obligation to avoid stigma for children who are eligible for FSM/Pupil Premium. These rumours of them treated poorly... I've never seen it (I work in Education) but if you do just deal with it. Don't deny this extra funding to the school, they bloody need it.

Bombardier25966 · 05/09/2018 14:29

If you don't want the free school meals, then arrange to pay the school back as a donation. That way you pay what you are willing/ able to, and they still benefit from the PP funding.

melissasummerfield · 05/09/2018 14:29

Some people on this site are truly nuts.

Eemamc · 05/09/2018 14:30

Also... if your child is FSM they are entitled to a free musical instrument lesson once a week, I think that’s a great opportunity. Well worth having

Flyme21 · 05/09/2018 14:31

Glitter, why don't you look at the link I posted and add up how much your son's primary school lost because you didn't support them? I'm sure they'd be happy to have a donation from an ex parent.

museumum · 05/09/2018 14:31

If you have independent wealth that means you really don't want to take FSM money, could you donate to the school finances? an equivalent amount to the pupil premium perhaps?

Flyme21 · 05/09/2018 14:31

Eemamc I'm not sure, but I don't think that's right. It may be something your child's school has decided to use some funding for.