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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - free school meals application against my wishes.

428 replies

GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 14:20

Two years ago I became eligible to claim free school meals,
I do not need the assistance so declined the offer.
The local council sent me a silly amount of letters about being entitled to claim, I phoned them and asked them to stop, explained that I didn't need to claim and asked them to make a note on my 'file' not to contact me again.
However, within a few months it started again I ignored them until I received a letter that basically said 'you are entitled to claim this so we are going to put in a claim on your behalf'
This annoyed me and I sent them a letter telling them that I do not give them permission to ever make a claim for FSMs on my behalf, that I wanted it marked on my file that I never want a claim for FSMs to be made in my name.
Someone from the council called me and apologised he said he made a note on my file and I would not be contacted again.

My DC has just started secondary school and for the second day in a row, his student account was not charged for the meal he had.
I just called the school and they have told me that his account has not been charged because he is in receipt of FSM, I told her this is a mistake and she is going to look into it and call me back.

I'm currently on hold to the council.

I'm so angry, how dare they put in a claim without my knowledge or permission and against my explicit request not to.
AIBU to be so annoyed?

I'm just posting to vent really, to try to calm down before I speak to anyone, but I'm just so angry that they can go against my wishes and put in a claim for a benefit that I do not want.

OP posts:
Original poster
GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 14:54

PattiStanger
How did the school apply for you? Don't you have to sign a form?

This is what I am questioning and annoyed about, how can they apply for a benefit in my name when I have explicitly told them I do not want to claim it. It seems somewhat fraudulent to put in a claim in my name when I have not agreed to it.

OP posts:
MaMaMaBelle · 05/09/2018 14:54

My dc have had fsm for a good few years now... I only recently found out about pupil premium for the School Blush
From these replies though it seems this is common knowledge

YANBU to be annoyed that they have applied for you against your wishes (and knowledge?), but as it benefits the school I would let it go.

user1471598162 · 05/09/2018 14:55

Its my understanding that there are plenty of children in receipt of pupil premium that don’t ‘need’ FSM (and plenty who do). If you have been in receipt of certain benefits in the last 6 years, your children are entitled to, and so the school receives, an additional budget (not just for meals). It seems shortsighted to feel a child or family is being stigmatised for something they don’t need, when teachers are usually fully aware that the indicators of need are actually very different.

Eemamc · 05/09/2018 14:55

In my experience, there is no stigma. Also, how will anyone other than staff know that your child has FSM?

Winterbella · 05/09/2018 14:55

What seems fraudulent is your entitlement!

Sparklingwinemakesmehappy · 05/09/2018 14:56

When I was asked by the school, they asked if I was eligible, not if I claimed benefits.

This was enough for them to apply.

I didn't claim benefits, but I was eligible.

LusaCole · 05/09/2018 14:57

Honestly OP, there's no stigma. The other kids won't even know who is FSM and who isn't.

BoomBoomsCousin · 05/09/2018 14:57

The argument that not claiming is selfish because the school will benefit is very skewed thinking. The money the school gets for an FSM pupil is not some how magically created. It comes form government funds that need paying for by taxpayers. The OP is saying neither her family nor the school should benefit more than the majority on the basis of her relevant income because, unlike a great number of people, she has other income that more than compensates.

It’s not an irresponsible or selfish attitude to think you shouldn’t take more state help than you need. It’s also not selfish to think, on the same basis, that your children’s school shouldn’t be advantaged over other schools.

postcardsfrom · 05/09/2018 14:57

Just bloody take it, let the school have the extra money to benefit all the kids and put the money you’re saving towards his further education. What a throng to get bothered about. No one but you and he school office is going to know that you’re getting FSM.

glenthebattleostrich · 05/09/2018 14:58

You don't want FSM, fine. Will you donate the almost £6,000 the school will be losing out on?

Sparklingwinemakesmehappy · 05/09/2018 14:58

The OP's entitlement is not assessed on maintenance contributions.

Her ExH could be paying for everything through maintenance payments and I understand these are not taken into consideration for the calculation of benefits.

Original poster
GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 14:58

Thank you BoomBoom that is exactly what I was trying to say.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 05/09/2018 15:01

There is no stigma at all. Nor can you usually tell which children get free school meals and which ones don't. In most schools they all join the same lunch queue and pay in the same automated way.

Schools are crying out for funding. Why are you intent on denying them this?

MyDcAreMarvel · 05/09/2018 15:03

Op you are not helping people who are struggling , you are a snob which is odd as you don’t gave your own income .

Feefeetrixabelle · 05/09/2018 15:04

It’s not a benefit in your name. It’s in your child’s name. There is no stigma attached that’s why schools use the swipe system now, no other kid will know he’s FSM.

I think the only person who attaches a stigma to it are people like you OP. Why wouldn’t you want to give everything you can for your child. Just because of your own snobbishness.

Winterbella · 05/09/2018 15:05

BoomBoom, That's not how society actually works though is it? you don't get anywhere by being noble, other schools don't lose out because her sons school get the funding, the money is sitting in a pot, where it will sit until it is used by a school, it won't be diverted to the NHS or somewhere else.

lily2403 · 05/09/2018 15:06

You sound very snooty, there is nothing wrong with children needing a little extra

mostdays · 05/09/2018 15:07

The school benefits when all families with an entitlement to FSM claim them. By not claiming you are probably preventing help going to kids who need it!

Auntpetunia2015 · 05/09/2018 15:07

I know What will have happened , as of April this year a new initiative was put in place whereby ANYONE who had had fsm in the last 2 years is now eligible until 2022. This is while universal credit is being rolled out it’s meant to make admin easier for councils and schools. As you were claimed for in the period by your old school your child is now automatically eligible.

I get that you don’t want or need it but believe me the schools do want and need the pupil premium. No one will know you DS will just get a dinner automatically from the system. If you’re that bothered then make a termly donation to the school.

Winterbella · 05/09/2018 15:07

Maintenance is means tested against benefits so I don't see how it doesn't count, Its part of the household income.

BackToTheFuschia7 · 05/09/2018 15:08

You’re right, it shouldn’t be claimed in your name without permission. I expect it is an admin error as it’s so unusual for a child to be eligible but for the parent not to want to claim.

But, schools are really, really struggling for funding and the PP money can be spent to benefit the whole school. Yes it comes from central government but wouldn’t you rather invest that in a school that educates your child? Remember, the benefits are not just for your individual child. If you’re able to and willing, you could put the money you would have spent on lunches to one side and donate it at the end of the year. To the school or another worthy cause.

Basecamp65 · 05/09/2018 15:08

Have to say I would be angry and disgusted if I was in your position as well OP. I have no feelings either way about claiming fsm but I would be furious if someone shared my personal details and took action on my behalf without my consent.

I know the school get extra money but doing this without your consent is plain wrong.

I remember a few days after I was burgled getting contacted by victim support - apparently the Police had passed on details of my burglary to them without my knowledge or consent. Bizarre as it may sound it felt as much of an intrusion into my privacy as the burglary did.

It may be well meaning but that does not make it morally right.

AllAboutTheStuff · 05/09/2018 15:08

Every year schools budgets are cut more and more. Who cares if your husband gives you enough maintenance so that you don’t need to claim fsm. Just let the school claim it for the pupil premium . The government don’t give a crap how much maintenance you receive, you are still entitled to claim so why wouldn’t you when it benefits the school

rainingcatsanddog · 05/09/2018 15:09

I'm in the same shoes as you and claim so that the school can increase their income.
The school is so short of cash that teachers buy resources for the kids out of their own money. I don't need the money (my kids take packed lunch and I pay for school trips) but the school needs it so I claim. If they need help in future the. I'd like to think that the school would pay for it with this money.

coffeeforone · 05/09/2018 15:09

Two years ago I became eligible to claim free school meals

May I ask how you became eligible for FSM? Are you claiming some other benefit?