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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - free school meals application against my wishes.

428 replies

GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 14:20

Two years ago I became eligible to claim free school meals,
I do not need the assistance so declined the offer.
The local council sent me a silly amount of letters about being entitled to claim, I phoned them and asked them to stop, explained that I didn't need to claim and asked them to make a note on my 'file' not to contact me again.
However, within a few months it started again I ignored them until I received a letter that basically said 'you are entitled to claim this so we are going to put in a claim on your behalf'
This annoyed me and I sent them a letter telling them that I do not give them permission to ever make a claim for FSMs on my behalf, that I wanted it marked on my file that I never want a claim for FSMs to be made in my name.
Someone from the council called me and apologised he said he made a note on my file and I would not be contacted again.

My DC has just started secondary school and for the second day in a row, his student account was not charged for the meal he had.
I just called the school and they have told me that his account has not been charged because he is in receipt of FSM, I told her this is a mistake and she is going to look into it and call me back.

I'm currently on hold to the council.

I'm so angry, how dare they put in a claim without my knowledge or permission and against my explicit request not to.
AIBU to be so annoyed?

I'm just posting to vent really, to try to calm down before I speak to anyone, but I'm just so angry that they can go against my wishes and put in a claim for a benefit that I do not want.

OP posts:
OldBean2 · 05/09/2018 15:10

As another chair of governors and the daughter of someone who did the same as you, I would have to say, get over yourself. I am sorry if that sounds rude but FSM are he only way that central government has to calculate children in poverty. Now I am sure this is not where you want to be but it is where you are.

Every child who is considered FSM, attracts their own pot of money which follows them through their school life. If you stop receiving FSM, the monies will be assigned to your child for a further six years. Now this money does not go into a central pot and must be spent on your child or on initiatives which improve the educational outcome for them.

So tell me why would you not accept it?

Original poster
GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 15:11

As you were claimed for in the period by your old school your child is now automatically eligible.

This is incorrect, I have never claimed free school meals, I only received letters from the council telling me that I was entitled.

OP posts:
kateandme · 05/09/2018 15:11

gift horse in the mouth and all that.i don't see why you would post on here and not keep gratefully quiet and accept it.

Winterbella · 05/09/2018 15:12

Your ignoring everyone on here except those that agree with you my god could you get any further up there!

ReanimatedSGB · 05/09/2018 15:13

Are you involved in some sort of fraud, OP? Is that why you have such a stick up your arse?
YAB hugely U. I also work in school admin and it is a very, very serious problem for schools that some parents won't claim the entitlement, as this means the school is deprived of funds that they would get (and use to benefit all the pupils) - even more so now that all other education funding is being cut.

Penfold007 · 05/09/2018 15:13

Your happy enough to claim the benefits that mean your household is eligible for the Pupil Premium/ FSM but not claim the FSM How odd

Branleuse · 05/09/2018 15:15

The school get pupil premium for every child that gets FSM, so its actually really important that you claim this if youre entitled, even if you dont lose it, otherwise the school also loses out on funds that they are entitled to and really do need in this current climate.

Branleuse · 05/09/2018 15:15

even if you dont use it, that should say *

ImAIdoot · 05/09/2018 15:16

YANBU. I hate the idea of not paying our own way, to say nothing og taking money we don't need when the country, including local authorities, is falling apart at the seams from wasteful spending and debt. I would be furious if someone did this on my behalf.

Thing is, there is no free money. It all has to be paid back and gone without, during our DCs lifetimes and their DCs too.

PorkFlute · 05/09/2018 15:16

If you don’t need/want the financial help then why not donate what you are saving to the local Foodbank or another charity of your choice?
You must have a lot of time on your hands to be complaining about being given money!

Original poster
GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 15:16

Honestly, I don't feel that we are entitled to FSM, even if we are eligible.

OP posts:
Havaina · 05/09/2018 15:17

I suspect your objection to FSM is more about not wanting to be seen as a charity case rather than a concern about taking benefits away from those who need them more.

I had a FSM as a child, and would be happy with my DC getting them if they were entitled to them.

chasinggarlic · 05/09/2018 15:17

I'm baffled at how this can just be done for you. You have to jump through hoops to get it through most councils. Either by HB or a separate application which you must provide evidence for Confused

Strawberrymelon · 05/09/2018 15:17

I always claim it because the school says it benefits them but I never use it. Ds has never had a school meal in the six years he has been at school.

I do understand how you feel. I didn't want to claim it either but the schools are always saying how it makes a difference to them.

Gnomesoftheglaaxy · 05/09/2018 15:18

Your happy enough to claim the benefits that mean your household is eligible for the Pupil Premium/ FSM but not claim the FSM How odd

Exactly

Original poster
GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 15:20

I'm not ignoring posts, I just don't know what I am supposed to reply to people who are calling me stupid, snobbish, stuck up and selfish.

I already agreed with all of the posts that the extra funding is good for schools.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 05/09/2018 15:21

You sound very selfish op.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/09/2018 15:21

So why if you agree tha the funding is good will you not allow the school to access it through your ds.

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 05/09/2018 15:23

Sonic the extra funding is good for schools then just accept it. If it bothers you then add up the cost of each school meal and donate it to the school once a month. No issue.

Gersemi · 05/09/2018 15:23

I don't want to take money out of a system that is already struggling and could go to supporting another family that actually need it.

You wouldn't be taking money out of the system. You are preventing Pupil Premium money from going into the school which certainly struggling, because all schools are. Your child wouldn't be labelled in any way. It seems to me a no-brainer.

If you feel you don't need the money, why not just donate the equivalent to the school?

Auntpetunia2015 · 05/09/2018 15:24

I received a letter that basically said 'you are entitled to claim this so we are going to put in a claim on your behalf'. I took this to mean that they had claimed and therefore why you will be eligible now. I know you say you told them not to, but if they did it then it’s a done deal now, even if it was for a few weeks or days.

Auntpetunia2015 · 05/09/2018 15:25

I received a letter that basically said 'you are entitled to claim this so we are going to put in a claim on your behalf.

Sorry that should have been bold in my reply.

CuntyMcFuckerson · 05/09/2018 15:26

I claim for FSM even though I send mine in with a packed lunch. (Won't eat the school meals).

No one knows who gets fsm except admin/head and there's no stigma from them. Only arsehole adults would judge. Kids can be judgy but they don't know.

At my sons school the extra funding goes towards paying for trips/extras/after school clubs for those that really need it. You could really help out another family by just claiming. Why wouldn't you when there's no negative to you? Confused

Original poster
GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 15:27

Because I do not agree with it.
Why should I allow a benefit to be fraudulently claimed in my name just to benefit others?

I can and do support the school financially when asked, in the time my DC was at primary school we donated substantially more than the pupil premium benefit would have given the school.
I'm happy to support the school, I will be making donations in the time my DC is a student there.

I don't agree that I should be vilified for not wanting to claim a benefit that I don't need or want to be claiming.

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 05/09/2018 15:28

Whilst I think you should claim FSM as you are entitled to, the local council in the very beginning should have explained to you that it opens up more money for your child's learning, so that you could make a more informed decision.

If you do not need it, claim it and donate the money to a charity of your choice.

My late father felt embarrassed given his financial circumstances to be given the heating winter payment, as he was comfortably off financially. He accepted the money but donated it to a charity.

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