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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - free school meals application against my wishes.

428 replies

GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 14:20

Two years ago I became eligible to claim free school meals,
I do not need the assistance so declined the offer.
The local council sent me a silly amount of letters about being entitled to claim, I phoned them and asked them to stop, explained that I didn't need to claim and asked them to make a note on my 'file' not to contact me again.
However, within a few months it started again I ignored them until I received a letter that basically said 'you are entitled to claim this so we are going to put in a claim on your behalf'
This annoyed me and I sent them a letter telling them that I do not give them permission to ever make a claim for FSMs on my behalf, that I wanted it marked on my file that I never want a claim for FSMs to be made in my name.
Someone from the council called me and apologised he said he made a note on my file and I would not be contacted again.

My DC has just started secondary school and for the second day in a row, his student account was not charged for the meal he had.
I just called the school and they have told me that his account has not been charged because he is in receipt of FSM, I told her this is a mistake and she is going to look into it and call me back.

I'm currently on hold to the council.

I'm so angry, how dare they put in a claim without my knowledge or permission and against my explicit request not to.
AIBU to be so annoyed?

I'm just posting to vent really, to try to calm down before I speak to anyone, but I'm just so angry that they can go against my wishes and put in a claim for a benefit that I do not want.

OP posts:
Gersemi · 05/09/2018 15:29

But it's not fraudulent, is it, Glitter? Your child is entitled to it. And it will benefit your child if their school receives extra funding, not least because the school has to show that Pupil Premium money is being used effectively and is helping the children entitled to it. Receiving FSM doesn't prevent you from making donations.

Auntpetunia2015 · 05/09/2018 15:30

I honestly don’t know how you can get round this now. It’s on a council system and the school fsm list is accurate from the council list try speaking directly to the school about removing the eligibility tag from SIMS and that way you can pay but the school would still get pupil premium from the council. Bear in mind though that dinner money doesn’t go to the school it does to the outside caterer who provide the service

Original poster
GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 15:32

I received a letter that basically said 'you are entitled to claim this so we are going to put in a claim on your behalf
I took this to mean that they had claimed and therefore why you will be eligible now. I know you say you told them not to, but if they did it then it’s a done deal now, even if it was for a few weeks or days

No a claim was never made, I think it was just their way of getting a response since I was ignoring all of the 'you are entitled' letters, when I wrote to them and subsequently spoke to someone they ensured me that no claim had or would be made without my requesting it.

OP posts:
Havaina · 05/09/2018 15:33

Why should I allow a benefit to be fraudulently claimed in my name just to benefit others?

It will benefit your OWN CHILD. Are you usually this obtuse?

You're relying on people like CuntyMcFuckerson to claim
just because you have grandiose ideas of your own station in life.

We had to queue up in a separate line for our yellow FSM tokens and we survived and thrived, I work for a massive company earning a higher tax rate salary. Trust me - your DC will survive having FSM!

rainingcatsanddog · 05/09/2018 15:34

The money claimed by you might not directly benefit your child (since they don't need it) but the school will be able to spend it on a child that needs it but doesn't qualify for the help

WhirlyGigWhirlyGig · 05/09/2018 15:36

I actually find your protestations quite distasteful. You don't want to have your child known as someone on fsm and bleating on about your child not needing it because you have ndependant wealth from maintenance is just a smokescreen.

It's about time the stigma seen by some was done away with. Accept the free school meals. The money you've saved then donate to a food bank or give to a homeless shelter if you wish but please don't dress this up as you being some virtuous human. Sorry that's the way this comes across to me.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/09/2018 15:39

Why should I allow a benefit to be fraudulently claimed My arse. There’s no fraud. Fucking hyacinth bucket. Biscuit

Feefeetrixabelle · 05/09/2018 15:41

I think your a disgrace OP. Free food benefits your child and the pupil premium benefits other students. Whether you have delusions of grandeur or not. Your child is entitled to the support. Your child. Not you. Your child’s benefit. Not yours. What kind of parents doesn’t do everything to support their child? Get over yourself.

Original poster
GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 15:42

I agree with you all that I am being very unreasonable to deny the school the pupil premium money that I could be claiming.

But my argument is shouldn't it be my choice whether or not I claim it?

I am in a position that I can financially support the school in other ways.
whenever there is fundraising I always donate generously, because I can afford to.
When my DC goes on a school trip I always pay significantly more than the cost of the trip, as I know the school relies on extra help to subsidise the cost for the children whose parents can't afford to pay and I don't think anyone should have to miss out on educational school trips.
I'm more than happy to donate money to help the school, I'm just not happy about a benefit being claimed in my name against my knowledge or agreement.

OP posts:
Flyme21 · 05/09/2018 15:43

Why should I allow a benefit to be fraudulently claimed in my name just to benefit others?

I can and do support the school financially when asked, in the time my DC was at primary school we donated substantially more than the pupil premium benefit would have given the school.
I'm happy to support the school, I will be making donations in the time my DC is a student there.

You're right, nobody should have claimed on your behalf, but you should have. It would benefit others, so why wouldn't you? You seem to be determined to ignore the fact that by taking this stance you are depriving children at your son's school of thousands.

You support the school financially when asked... I guess that means that you don't pay them the money they have lost because you won't claim.

Why not look on this as registering eligibility for the benefit of the school? Would that sit better maybe?

Flyme21 · 05/09/2018 15:45

By the way, whatever you "generously" donate, you are still depriving the school of funding. You could donate £10k, but if you registered eligibility they would still get the PP funding on top.

There's no way around this, you could help the school to have more money and you're choosing not to. Depriving other children. Selfish.
I can't believe the attitude and won't be saying any more on this.

HipTightOnions · 05/09/2018 15:47

I’m with you OP. I was in the same position and didn’t claim either, for the same reason.

CrochetBelle · 05/09/2018 15:49

OP under what criteria are you eligible to claim FSM?

NynaeveSedai · 05/09/2018 15:52

You're going to give the school £900 a year for the next 7 years?

Because if not, your PTA donations don't make up for what you're doing them out of.

It's not a fraudulent application. You're entitled to it. And in fact, if you find the whole system so offensive, and you have independent income from your ex, why claim tax credits in the first place?

CousinKrispy · 05/09/2018 15:53

OK. So why don't you:

*let the claim stand so the school can benefit from it, they need the money.
*donate the generous amount to the school you were going to donate anyway, because ditto.

*have a word with the school to tell them you understand how valuable the funding is to them, but that you really don't want them to submit your personal information without your permission in the future.
*send a packed lunch for your child, or just let him eat the school dinner if that's what he prefers.

ralphi · 05/09/2018 15:55

You dont answer the question of why, if you are in receipt or generous maintenance, you are deemed eligible for FSM. Are you not declaring this? Why does it not bother more you why you are showing up as eligible? And when you say you donate "generously" what does that actually mean? Are you donating the thousands that the school is losing out on? You don't address any of these questions....

Luckyme2 · 05/09/2018 15:56

Presumably you're already in support of benefits but don't need them though? At least by claiming FSMs as a benefit you don't need you would be actively putting money in to your child's school (which I assume you would want to do given that you have said you wouldn't want to take money out of the system. You would be actively putting extra money into the system by claiming the FSMs!)
My guess is that it's nothing to do with "taking money out of the system" and everything to do with your perception of a "stigma".

WhirlyGigWhirlyGig · 05/09/2018 15:56

Oh and I should also have mentioned, there are other benefits. When all the field trips and the like come along, the costs mount up. My daughter's trip to Italy was about £800 (and that's without spending money and suitable clothing and footwear), if she'd have qualified for fsm then there were grants available to help with the costs, I know because one of her friends had a grant or else they wouldn't have been able to afford to go. So I do hope you've got the funds for this because secondary is an expensive business and you don't want your child being left out.

I do speak from experience because I've claimed fsm in the past as a single parent who found herself unemployed.

Inertia · 05/09/2018 15:58

So what did the council say about how the claim was originally processed, or are they still investigating?

agedknees · 05/09/2018 16:03

Donate the money you would have spent on school meals by buying food for a food bank. Win win situation.

Lifespan · 05/09/2018 16:03

For goodness sake why should the op be forced to claim something she doesn’t need.
If she was saying she was in receipt of any other benefit and she didn’t need it she’d be getting called a scrounged.
The way the school is funded is not her problem.
Op id give them an earful about making claims on your behalf. They shouldn’t do that.

WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree · 05/09/2018 16:04

OP - I too would be irritated beyond reason at having someone decide to do something in my name contrary to my explicit instructions.

However, your logic is seriously flawed

I am in a position that I can financially support the school in other ways. whenever there is fundraising I always donate generously, because I can afford to.
Super, but irrelevant

When my DC goes on a school trip I always pay significantly more than the cost of the trip, as I know the school relies on extra help to subsidise the cost for the children whose parents can't afford to pay and I don't think anyone should have to miss out on educational school trips.

This is what the pupil premium/FSM is frequently used for!

bigbluebus · 05/09/2018 16:05

How do they know you are entitled to claim FSM if you have never put a claim in?

emelsie · 05/09/2018 16:05

Just wondered OP what benefit is it you receive that entitles you to FSM ? Or do you have a low income if not taking into account maintenance from your ex-husband?

Collaborate · 05/09/2018 16:05

Unless you're prepared to pay to the school the amount of the pupil premium they've lost by not claiming FSM, YABVU.

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