AIBU to ask what career you want for your child or children?

[glammother31]

Have you got it all mapped out or are you just going to roll the dice? Will they go to uni or have you not decided?

I'd be really interested to hear different points of view.

I’m a SAHM and that’s what I do but it’s not a job.

OTOH, I am not “unemployed” before someone throws that into the mix.

I'll bite.
Your job is not being a mum.
I'm a full time mum too and I have a job.
Your occupation is to care for your child at home. It's not a job. You're not employed or earning an income from it.

a paid position of regular employment.
2.
a task or piece of work, especially one that is paid.

Plus, it's funny how some people would never be able to work 9-5, but happily live off someone who does.

Oh no glammother - you’ve just got a knack of making things sound bad.

I'm also a SAHM. Single mum with two SN kids. It is most definitely a full-time job.

And yes, I'm paid for it. The judge made sure of that when XH & I divorced.

Still not a job if you receive maintenance or compensation for loss of income, because you can't or won't have a job.

Who was it that said "they can do anything they want as long as it's medicine or STEM?

Seriously that's what my parents thought.

My father didn't speak to me for a moth when he discovered I had not put physics down as a GCSE option. I was very good at and interested in most of my other subjects but (either due to poor teaching or just lack of natural affinity and talent) struggled with and got poor grades in physics. Taking it seemed a stupid decision. So I didn't.

When I got a first class degree (top 2% of my intake at a uni in the top 10 for my subject) in an academic arts subject, my mother's first reaction on the phone was "oh well that's a relief, I suppose a first is worth something even though you only did [X subject].

It taught me to be stubborn and self reliant but massively damaged my relationship with my parents to know that no matter how well I did in my chosen field, I would always be a disappointment because it wasn't what they considered worthwhile.

Interestingly I have several younger siblings - not one did medicine or STEM despite my parents plans. Poor parents.

My kids are 29(married with 2 little girls) and 21,I still haven't decided whether they're going to Uni or not,let alone what jobs they're going to do! Maybe I should stop procrastinating.

So I'm a lesser person because I care for my SN children rather than have a "job"? Not to be goady but your attitude is hurtful and demeaning, Lweji.

I have my own brand that I've worked hard to cultivate.

I don't sell any products, I promote lifestyle.

I am a full time mum, that is my job

So being a SAHM is a 'lifestyle' that needs to be promoted now? And your way of being a SAHM is a 'brand' that you've worked hard to cultivate?

blueskiesandforests

That’s a really sad post - although I’m glad you stuck to your guns. I hope some of the pushy parents “ my child WILL do this and this “ take note.

Op, why didn't you just say i don't work, I'm a stay at home mum?

There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mum

There is everything wrong with deciding your child's future at three, thinking their adult life is your decision, and even worse, deciding your 3 year old child will be a model as an adult. And trying to convince the child of that.

Some very judgemental ppl on here.

Well of course people are negatively judging op. Think what you're posting.

How can you be a full time mum when you are working/promoting for part of the day

You bet your boots people are judging the likely effect on your daughter of her vapid InstaMum deciding that her 'beautiful' three year old is going to be a model.

Nothing wrong whatsoever with being a SAHM. It’s brutally hard, can be lonely and isolating, is stressful, challenging and exhausting. Usually it comes with all responsibility for running the house as well.

It’s not a job - but not enough people recognise that it’s a damn sight harder than an awful lot of jobs.

However. To say that you could “never” do a 9-5 and that you promote a lifestyle for a living? Just the way it’s all phrased sounds a bit GF to me.

Why can't your daughter be a doctor, a lawyer, a musician, a plumber, an entrepreneur, an engineer, a teacher op?

What happens if she's too short to be a model, or she doesn't fancy it and wishes a vocation or trade instead? If she wishes to go to uni?

Why would you not encourage her to reach her potential, see all her opportunities, and be exactly what she wants to be?

@glamm so you're saying you've picked a career for you daughter and at three years of age she's settled on her career choice......
I was just wondering, where did you study career guidance?

Yesterday you ' don't remember getting in' as you were out with a mate on the piss.....with your 3 year old with you all day!!

Your thread is there for all to see!

Drinking away your benefits eh?

I am very happy for my children to do what they want to do PROVIDED they are happy and can sustain themselves

Something useful
Engineering, science, medicine, architecture, art, music - basically something practical.
Nothing fluffy and waffley. Advisors, consultants.....

Why would you not encourage her to reach her potential, see all her opportunities, and be exactly what she wants to be?

Very well put. Apart from anything else, you can be sure the jobs available in 20 years time won't be exactly same as the ones today. Technology will mean vast changes across traditional industries. It'd be very short sighted to encourage them down a specific route at a young age.

Do you aspire to be Lateysha Grace ? Or are you her?

@bio some advisors are very useful